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Funny satire stories about Proverbs

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Funny story: Mathematicians fit a square peg in a round hole

Mathematicians fit a square peg in a round hole

Mathematicians at Keswick University have produced a proof that shows how to fit a square peg into a round hole. "Using topological manipulation calculations," said theoretical mathematician, Patience Tested, "we have successfully transmogrified a...
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Funny story: Early bird fails to catch the worm

Early bird fails to catch the worm

A wary worm deprived a bird of its breakfast early yesterday morning. One of the notorious 'early birds' was up very early on the look-out for a juicy worm to eat. As usual, its timing was OK, because an early worm was just waking up. "I was think...
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Funny story: Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

Carlton Hennings of the Psychological Institute of Swindon, Sussex heard the phrase "Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" when he was very young. Being a keen analytical thinker, he decided that he would try and determine whether there was any truth in this Old Wives Tale. "From the age of nine I have followed a strict regime," said Hennings, now fifty-eight...
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Funny story: Zookeeper proves age-old adage

Zookeeper proves age-old adage

Zoo keeper Friedrich Reiseldt fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more then a bushel of berries figs and prunes before the plugged up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Fred, nearly 46, was giving t...
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Funny story: Opportunity Knocks At Door; Mistaken For Bill Collector

Opportunity Knocks At Door; Mistaken For Bill Collector

Philadelphia, PA- Andrew Dovidio, 27, mistook a knock on the door yesterday morning for a bill collector, when in fact it was actually Opportunity. "Dude, I woke up to this harsh knocking," reported the perpetually balding Andrew, "and my fir...
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Funny story: Old Proverb proved wrong as Keith Richards reveals extensive collection of Moss

Old Proverb proved wrong as Keith Richards reveals extensive collection of Moss

As the great Miguel de Cervantes once said, 'a Proverb is a short sentence based on long experience'. The English language is littered with many such traditional phrases which have over the years been accepted as part of what Shakespeare called 'the...
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Funny story: Man Kills "Two Birds with One Stone"

Man Kills "Two Birds with One Stone"

Alice Springs - Ostrich rancher Elliot Mossy has filed a complaint with the local police against his neighbour Morris "The Menace" Miller. Mr. Miller, a retired teacher, has dedicted his retirement to see how many popular expressions he can person...
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Funny story: Confucius (China's Original Punster)

Confucius (China's Original Punster)

Confucius one of the greatest Chinese thinkers and social philosphers of all time had literally thousands of sayings. One of his better known is "The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying small stones." Noted Australian writer and famed koa...
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Funny story: Cleanliness Not Next To Godliness Shock

Cleanliness Not Next To Godliness Shock

Purists of the English language were left reeling today when the new cable tv programme 'Proverb Busters' concluded that cleanliness was not next to godliness.
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Funny story: "Let sleeping elephants lie…or you may [die]," Man in Thailand learns too late trying to compose ancient proverb of his own

"Let sleeping elephants lie…or you may [die]," Man in Thailand learns too late trying to compose ancient proverb of his own

Sidney, Australia - An elephant killed a 30-year-old-man in eastern Thailand today. Reportedly, he provoked the fatal incident by hitting the idle beast while it was asleep in a field. Onlookers tried to rescue the man from the enraged six-year-old c...
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Funny story: Paraphernalia4yourgenitalia Launches StallWall.Scrawl

Paraphernalia4yourgenitalia Launches StallWall.Scrawl

P4YourGenitalia has launched a new webshite called StallWall. Scrawl dedicated to the cleverest bathroom wall graffiti from across the shittin', pissin world. The site utilzes a toiletcam to record the proverbs of the pissers and the shiboleths of the shitters. In the first release of the webshite, the top ten floaters rose to the surface:...
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Style Maven/Ex-Con Stewart Announces Her Latest For the Holiday

Stewart today touted her rollout of MarthaGoblers--designer turkeys for the Thanksgiving feast. MarthaGoblers are available in various skin-tone shades from Titian Brown to Chirascuro Noir and Blanc
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