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Funny story: Hilton and Marriott Adopt Protein-Stain Resistant Towels

Hilton and Marriott Adopt Protein-Stain Resistant Towels

Patented by Dr. Buster Hymens, a bio-chemist from Spit City, Nevada, a new coating that bonds itself to cotton fibers prevents even the worst protein stains from setting. Applied to towels and bedding in the initial wash cycle, the coating still al...
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Funny story: FDA Declares Fingernails Protein in School Lunches

FDA Declares Fingernails Protein in School Lunches

During the Reagan Administration, ketchup on hamburgers was officially declared a vegetable. In the Clinton years, corn chips with cheese sauce and pinto beans (nachos) became acceptable in school lunch programs as a main dish, fulling grain, dairy,...
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Plans for Bergdahl Post-CourtMartial Leaked

Another leak from the Empire Palace reveals Barack I will appoint Beau Bergdahl--after his court-martial--as His Excellency's Ambassador to the Taliban, given Bergdahls' extensive connections there.
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