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Funny satire stories about Protein

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Funny story: "Mmmm, Tofurky!' Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week before Thanksgiving

"Mmmm, Tofurky!' Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week before Thanksgiving

Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...
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Funny story: Hilton and Marriott Adopt Protein-Stain Resistant Towels

Hilton and Marriott Adopt Protein-Stain Resistant Towels

Patented by Dr. Buster Hymens, a bio-chemist from Spit City, Nevada, a new coating that bonds itself to cotton fibers prevents even the worst protein stains from setting. Applied to towels and bedding in the initial wash cycle, the coating still al...
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Funny story: FDA Declares Fingernails Protein in School Lunches

FDA Declares Fingernails Protein in School Lunches

During the Reagan Administration, ketchup on hamburgers was officially declared a vegetable. In the Clinton years, corn chips with cheese sauce and pinto beans (nachos) became acceptable in school lunch programs as a main dish, fulling grain, dairy,...
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Alabama's New State Motto

After Tuesday Alabama's state motto, Audemus jura nostra defendere ("We dare defend our rights"), will most likely be changed to Audemus pedophilium nostra defendere ("We dare defend our pedophiles").
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