With the economy in the state that it is in, the rising cost of weddings has become something that many men are deciding against tying the knot.
"It costs several thousand quid," said Harry Balls, a mathematics lecturer from Sheffield University,...
ATLANTA, Georgia (ABSNN) - The ever smiling Mike Rowe, host of the Discovery Channel's long-running "Dirty Jobs" announced the show would not continue after this year. However, Rowe is not out of a job at the Discovery Channel; he will host a new sh...
MOON LIGHT BUNNY RANCH, Nevada (ABSNN) - Dennis Hof, owner of a legal, Nevada brothel, told reporters today that Tiger Woods' porn-star mistress Number 8, Joslyn James, would work "for one week only," at his thriving Moon Light Bunny Ranch. Ms. Jame...
KENNEBUNK, Maine (ABSNN) - 129,277 men in this tony seaside town (all apparently Democrats) on the Maine coast have been named as "Johns" in the Zumba Prostitution scandal. Their names, but no other identifying data, were released by order of the ju...
KENNEBUNK, MAINE (ABSNN) - "They were doing more than Zumba out of that 'dance studio,' let me tell ya," said Kennebunk Police Chief George H. W. P. Bush.
"They was selling nookie," the chief told reporters.
Police raided Purda Vida Fitness Cen...
I had to work all day today and, aside from making some money that my spawn will end up spending, nothing good came of it, all that work I mean.
Does this happen to anybody else or am I alone in thinking that the people making money off of me owe me a little bit more than money?
It would be a welcome change if the woman who is my boss would give me a blow job along with my pay check. Sh...
Anybody who tries to tell me there is one, an all-powerful, caring God who rewards human beings for their good works and punishes human beings for evil is full of shit. I can prove it; any seven-year-old in a catechism class can prove it too: God cannot be all-powerful because God cannot create a rock so heavy God cannot pick it up. So, fuck you; let it go.
Yes, I know, you believe the rewa...
The sex industry, normally turgid even during tough times, has become flaccid in recent months. This is partly due to stiff competition but also due to punters lacking the wad to pay for hookers.
Prostitutes have had to lower their prices to remai...
Ukrainian prostitutes have been pretty busy during the Euro 2012, but now they have decided to strike until it is all over. The reason why they are striking is because footy fans visiting the local bordellos in the Ukraine are too busy watching the g...
The Home Office has vowed to intercede in a pending work stoppage during the Olympics as the Sex Workers Union (SWU) has threatened a 'Lay Out' during the August Influx of cash carrying tourists for the gala event heralded as a 'boom to the econom...
Washington DC: President Obama has issued an executive order that all US civilian federal employees (civil service, political appointees, elected officials) and military personnel must become monastic (male and female monks) to retain their jobs.
Immediately following a lengthy meeting in the Oval Office with the Director of the U.S. Secret Service Mark J. Sullivan, President Obama decided to order a hooker.
Sources say his meeting with Sullivan lasted nearly four hours. It follows a rece...
Washington, D.C.-The United States has completed a rough trade agreement with the nation of Columbia following a short fact finding tour by members of the Secret Service to check on the quality of that nation's hookers.
The new rough trade agreeme...
The big news of the weekend once again involved the President of Vice, Joe Biden. This time the attacks were two-pronged. Some might say, much like Biden's tail.
In story one, it was learned that last year, the PV earned $20,900 in rental inco...
Washington - "A terrible thing to happen in your husband's re-erection - uh...re-election! - year, Ma'am," was how one hang-dog protection officer put it to Michelle Obama this weekend.
The First Lady is livid amid reports that a dozen Secret Serv...
WASHINGTON - In a monumental failing of the U.S. Department of Robotics, twelve androids known by insiders as units "XJ1 through XJ12" have been dismantled following an embarrassing episode involving Colombian prostitutes.
The unfortunate mishap...
Pittsburgh PA: The Whiskey Rebellion of 1791 was a tax protest during the presidency of George Washington. Farmers selling their grain as distilled whiskey had to pay a new sin tax, which they strongly resented. The tax was a part of Treasury Secreta...
Isle of Dogs - The £2 million former NHS contract will see all available prostitutes working the lucrative London Olympics turf microchipped following extensive medical tests.
Emergency legislation means the scheme can be extended from pet dogs, c...