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Funny satire stories about Prisoners

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How do We Improve Our Prisons?

Funny story: How do We Improve Our Prisons?

"UK Prison Reform. A serious issue that needs to be taken seriously." (BBC London. 19/05/2016) Some suggestions. 1. Daily full body massages. 2. Freely available prostitutes. 3. Boxing stadiums. 4. Regular visiting entertainers like Rolf Harris or Boris Johnson. 5. Comprehensive menu prepared by Gordon Ramsay. 6. Wine, spirits and beer available with all meals. 7. Prescr...

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Crocodile prison guards employed by Indonesian prisons!

Funny story: Crocodile prison guards employed by Indonesian prisons!

To make sure their prisoners never get out alive, Indonesia has decided to employ huge crocodiles to patrol their prisons instead of the human version. Indonesia is renowned for its infamous and very strict prison regimes and once an inmate is in,...

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Isle of Wight News - All Prisoners In H.M.P Isle of Wight To Be Released Into Community

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - All Prisoners In H.M.P Isle of Wight To Be Released Into Community

A pill which cures prisoners of the urge to commit crimes is to be given to all inmates of H.M.P Isle of Wight. The pill's effects, which although it has to be administered daily, mean that all prisoners will remain completely law abiding as long as...

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President Obama Arranges Astonishing Prisoner Exchange

Funny story: President Obama Arranges Astonishing Prisoner Exchange

President Obama is on a roll with an all new sensational exchange arrangement. By now it's been well established that missing Teamsters kingpin Jimmy Hoffa was taken by the Taliban after vanishing from the parking lot of a restaurant in suburban Detr...

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White House Admits Offensive 'YouTube Video' Behind Bergdahl Prisoner Swap

Washington - UN Ambassador Susan Rice made the rounds on the Sunday talk shows once again to announce that freed prisoner, Bowe Bergdahl, was released after a prisoner swap, involving five Taliban terrorists, after the Taliban threatened to relea...

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Those Not Being Held Captive Say Prisoner Deal Bad Idea; Soldier Should Have Fought His Way Out, Like Chuck Norris

THE HORROR, THE HORROR, OHIO VALLEY -- Some area residents NOT BEING HELD CAPTIVE by The Taliban said the United States made a bad decision in arranging a prisoner exchange to free a U.S. soldier who WAS BEING HELD CAPTIVE by The Taliban. "He shou...

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President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades

Washington, D.C. - Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette, we have a new winner. Over the we...

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Teachers Replaced By Inmates In Cost-Cutting Move After 8 Levy Defeats

HOME ROOM CONFINEMENT, BELLAIRE, OHIO -- Following the defeat of an operating levy for the eighth time in four years, the Bellaire Local School District has been forced to take the drastic measure of laying off all its high school teachers and replac...

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Tonight There's Been A Jailbreak!

Funny story: Tonight There's Been A Jailbreak!

England's prison system (which has long been described as Butlins with bars) has fucked up yet again. Back and to the Left news has never understood the point of having a open prison, isn't that just a hotel that you don't pay for? If we ran a open p...

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Express Exclusive - Prisoners to Be Given 3D Plasma Televisions Foot Massages and Free Beer

Funny story: Express Exclusive - Prisoners to Be Given 3D Plasma Televisions Foot Massages and Free Beer

Murderers, rapists, burglars and hooligans are to be given the use of chauffeur driven limousines, 72 inch 3D Plasma televisions, masseuse services, manicures and luxury holidays in 5 star hotels, a Home Office spokesperson announced this morning.

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Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio Explains Why He Said No To Dancing With The Stars

Funny story: Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio Explains Why He Said No To Dancing With The Stars

MARICOPA COUNTY, Arizona - The self-proclaimed Toughest Sheriff in America, Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has said that he turned down an offer to appear as a contestant on this season's edition of Dancing With The Stars. Sheriff "Pinky" Arpaio, received his...

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San Quentin State Prison Announces That Once A Month They Will Bring In Pole Dancers To Entertain The Inmates

Funny story: San Quentin State Prison Announces That Once A Month They Will Bring In Pole Dancers To Entertain The Inmates

MARIN COUNTY, California - A representative for The San Quentin Department of Corrections & Rehabilitation State Prison has just informed the news media of a trial program. The trial program will be implemented on Saturday, April 19, 2014. The...

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One Out of Every 100 Americans Behind Bars

Funny story: One Out of Every 100 Americans Behind Bars

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - A spokesman for the Federal Bureau of Prisons has issued a stern warning to the American Public. "It is getting darn right crowded in here," complains Warden Clarence Frapples. "You people need to start behaving and follo...

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Popular T.V. sports reporter signs autographs and gives match comments in Prison

Funny story: Popular T.V. sports reporter signs autographs and gives match comments in Prison

Stuart Hall is settling in well among the "Beasts" at Wymott prison. The brilliant football commentator is in great demand as a free soccer expert during televised football. Hall, a great raconteur and astute MC for all events says he is as happy as...

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Radioactive Material Truck Stolen In Mexico Headed Towards Maricopa, Arizona

Funny story: Radioactive Material Truck Stolen In Mexico Headed Towards Maricopa, Arizona

SAN DIEGO - United States Customs Agents have advised the Arizona state authorities to be on the look out for a late model mossy green truck that is reportedly headed for their state. Captain Lestingwood Grimwitch, 43, with the U.S. Department of...

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Politicians Prison to be Built in Arizona Desert!

Funny story: Politicians Prison to be Built in Arizona Desert!

After Freshman Congressman Trey Radel of Florida was arrested for possession of cocaine in Washington, D.C. and him admitting he is an alcoholic and pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine, the President has ordered a new prison built just for crooke...

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Guantanamo Guards Taunt Prisoners with Music from Annie

Funny story: Guantanamo Guards Taunt Prisoners with Music from Annie

CUBA - Prisoners at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp are entering day 4 of a hunger strike protesting what they refer to as musical torture in violation of Article 3 of the Geneva Conventions. The prisoners have announced that they will not eat...

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Arizona's Prisons Are Overcrowded - Sheriff Joe Arpaio Says He Has A Damn Good Plan

Funny story: Arizona's Prisons Are Overcrowded - Sheriff Joe Arpaio Says He Has A Damn Good Plan

MESA, Arizona - Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio is the self-proclaimed toughest sheriff in the entire United States including Alaska. The 81-year-old lawman is noted for making his prisoners dress up in pink jumpsuits, pink socks, pink...

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The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.
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