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Funny story: What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

What the Hell are the Royals Doing in New Zealand of All Places?

In order to answer this simple question our magazine "Conned Weekly" contacted Lord Hiram Abiff Cook of the British Foreign Office London who candidly answered unaware that we had recorded the conversation. Here is what he said: Well, old sport...
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Funny story: Kate Middleton denies palace tryst

Kate Middleton denies palace tryst

LONDON -- The royals are not above showing a little of their majestic bodies on occasion. Exhibitionist Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cornhole and wife of Prince William, is proof of that, having shown her regal tatas to the world and having flashed her...
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Funny story: Wall Street unimpressed with scrounger royals

Wall Street unimpressed with scrounger royals

New York - The big money fixers are staying away in droves as Prince William and his gargoyle wife arrive in NYC rattling their sadass begging bowls. Up to a dozen City Z-LIsters have forked out fifty grand a piece to hobnob with the faux royals w...
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Funny story: New Yorkers' disgust at $100,000-a-table Kate and William dinner

New Yorkers' disgust at $100,000-a-table Kate and William dinner

New York - "For that kind of money you'd at least expect a blow job over the flambe tart course," one wealthy New Yorker said today after being asked to stump up $100k for a gala dinner table with William and Kate, "just ask Michelle Obama!" The h...
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Funny story: Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

London, England In a strongly anticipated move, the entire British Commonwealth voted to bypass Prince Charles in favor of his son, Prince William. "Charles is just so stodgy, he will have the whole British Empire asleep before he is even half-way...
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Funny story: A right Royal Carry on!

A right Royal Carry on!

The news that Kate Middleton is up the duff again has come as a major surprise to the Royal household, especially Liz and Phil, the latter swearing fucking blind that he was nowhere near Kate's bedroom when she was on heat! Liz is particularly pis...
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Funny story: Royal Body language experts determine Prince George will grow to be expert at pooping, crying

Royal Body language experts determine Prince George will grow to be expert at pooping, crying

Only a year old and yet body language experts have already signalled that Prince George will be fantastic at both crying and pooping. "We studied several videos of the young prince and surprisingly he showed a real interest in crying his head off...
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Funny story: Kate Middleton Using Craigslist for Royal Palace Furnishings

Kate Middleton Using Craigslist for Royal Palace Furnishings

London, EN Kate Middleton, future queen of England, who recently used Craigslist to find a new nanny for Prince George, has been taking advantage of Craigslist to bargain-hunt for furnishings for the various royal palaces. As of last week, she has purchased: -382 sets of drapes for Buckingham Palace and some kilts for Balmoral. -A new love seat, French Provincial chairs, and a few Queen...
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Funny story: Shades of the Nazis as Prince William vows to destroy Palace art collection

Shades of the Nazis as Prince William vows to destroy Palace art collection

London, UK - Priceless royal artefucts including Queen Victoria's rather splendid ivory throne - the first ever lavatory bowl to be carved from a single elephant tusk - are in line for destruction in William's latest PR scam. So confident is JK Ro...
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Funny story: Viva Espana! William and Harry on Spanish Romp!

Viva Espana! William and Harry on Spanish Romp!

The Chuckle Brothers of Royalty, namely Prince William and his bastard sibling Prince Harry have departed the rain sodden shores of Blighty for a spot of weekend wild life and peasant slaughtering in sunny Espana. Rather than bother with TripAdvis...
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Funny story: Queen to Kate Middleton: Drop The Skirts!

Queen to Kate Middleton: Drop The Skirts!

Kate appears to have heard the order but was confused for a short period when she thought the Queen meant to strip! However, Kate Middleton's grandmother-in-law is demanding lower hemlines, not the dropping of the skirt. According to Britain's Ma...
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Funny story: Taxman slaps royal scroungers William and Kate with backdated £1million bill

Taxman slaps royal scroungers William and Kate with backdated £1million bill

London, UK - Feckless gold-digger Kate Middleton and her idler spouse Prince William have been hit with a backdated £1million bill following an orgy of taxpayer handouts nodded through by Prince Charles. The bill covers more than three years of th...
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Funny story: Prince George is a cat

Prince George is a cat

It is revealed that Prince George the newborn of Prince William and Duchess Kate happens to be an adorable kitty cat. Cat lovers of Britain rejoice at the fact that someday a kitty cat will sit on the British throne. One cat lover was quoted as...
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Funny story: Queen busts a blood vessel as William kicked out of the army

Queen busts a blood vessel as William kicked out of the army

Balmoral - News that the bald and ugly changeling son of Prince Charles has been booted out of the military has not gone down well at Balmoral Castle tonight. The Queen, who heard it from a butler who'd watched the Six O'Clock News, took it badly...
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Funny story: Prince Boy George has swallowed his dummy

Prince Boy George has swallowed his dummy

London - "Arrgh, right royal rascal alright, what?" Prince William said today in a dramatic new twist to the usual boring crap. The princelet was speaking to US reporters from some dreary small-time cable network about sleepless nights, filthy dia...
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Funny story: After Hours of Family Deliberation Royal Family Decides George is Perfect

After Hours of Family Deliberation Royal Family Decides George is Perfect

LONDON - The newest member of the royal family has been named. According to a royal insider, the namesake of the young prince is George Zimmerman despite rumors that it was actually the Queen's father, King George VI. In recent reports, Willia...
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Funny story: Elton John Wants To Be Kate and William's New Baby's Godfather

Elton John Wants To Be Kate and William's New Baby's Godfather

NEW YORK CITY - Elton John was in New York City shopping for a certain brand of boa that is only sold in the Big Apple. As he was shopping he was asked by Ashburn Wasabi with The Right Coast Revue what he thought about William and Kate's new baby...
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Funny story: Somali Pirates Snatch Royal Baby

Somali Pirates Snatch Royal Baby

London, England. In disturbing news just emerging (ney, even breaking), Somali pirates have broken into St Mary's Hospital in Paddington and have kidnapped the newly born Prince of Cambridge after a short joust with hospital staff. It is believed...
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Westboro Ass-Tits

The infamous congregation mistakenly installed a large anus with a breast pump attached to it, instead of a fountain. Pastor has commented, "now God hates us!" 5 Members burned themselves alive.
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