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Funny story: Middle Class Tattoo Booths To Open in Department Stores

Middle Class Tattoo Booths To Open in Department Stores

Shares in Edinburgh Tattoo, the high class tattoo studio chain, received a boost at close of trading last night after it was rumoured that it had contacted Balmoral Body Art, the place where Prince Andrew was rumoured to have had his famous "Mother"...
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Funny story: Prince Andrew photographed wanking

Prince Andrew photographed wanking

Prince Andrew has been photographed wanking with the help of his mother, HRH, Queen Elizabeth II. His tentative strokes were captured on Sunday as nephews, princes William and Harry lined up on opposing sides in the Jerudong Trophy at Cirencester...
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Funny story: Adorable Royal Baby George Shoots Terrorists and earns 30 Medals on First Day of Tour of Duty in Afghanistan

Adorable Royal Baby George Shoots Terrorists and earns 30 Medals on First Day of Tour of Duty in Afghanistan

"Attaboy" Royal Baby Hero Prince George has already gained as many medals as the Duke of Edinburgh and Saddam Hussein combined after a successful first day of duty in a combat helicopter on the front line. According to sources, he shot three terr...
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Funny story: Al Shabaab-Kebab terror chief 'is Lord Lucan's son': reports

Al Shabaab-Kebab terror chief 'is Lord Lucan's son': reports

East Africa - The charcoal grilled lamb-peddling terror outfit's commander has tested DNA positive as Lord Lucan's son, spawned during the fugitive peer's UK taxpayer-funded grand tour of Africa according to reports. Vladimir Dim-Eatery Lucan Shis...
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Funny story: OMG! Prince Andrew 'is Lord Lucan's son'

OMG! Prince Andrew 'is Lord Lucan's son'

London - The Queen was left looking grimly po-faced as news of the deception spread this morning confirming Foreign Orifice DNA results of a direct hit between the missing Irish peer and Prince Andrew, Duke of York. The royal cuckoo became a Palac...
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Funny story: MoD dilemma as Prince Andrew claims to have 'sold' Harrier Jump Jet fleet to 'friendly Middle East potentate'

MoD dilemma as Prince Andrew claims to have 'sold' Harrier Jump Jet fleet to 'friendly Middle East potentate'

London - They're squirming at MoD HQ in London today amid claims a Middle Eastern nabob has scooped up the entire 74-strong fleet at the bargain basement price of $1 billion. Retired Air Commodore Sir Monty Dam-Busta is said to have acted as the M...
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Funny story: Wanted: New UK Rough Trade & Investment Envoy

Wanted: New UK Rough Trade & Investment Envoy

London - A job ads noticeboard at a Soho newsagents window is advertising the position following an unexpected vacancy. The For Sale & Wanted ad directs applicants to the mobile phone number of a Wapping recruitment agency. And specifies th...
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Funny story: Duke of Yuk Can't Find Private Minders to Keep Princesses from Running Amok!

Duke of Yuk Can't Find Private Minders to Keep Princesses from Running Amok!

The Queen's recent edict cutting off private security for the Princess Uglies, Beatrice and Eugenie, is causing rising angst to their beleaguered father, Duke of Yuk, who in desperation resorted to the help wanted ads seeking private protection for...
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Funny story: Beatrice and Eugenie Stripped of "Protection', "Must Crawl Home on their Own" says Queen!

Beatrice and Eugenie Stripped of "Protection', "Must Crawl Home on their Own" says Queen!

Following the furor over recent Millinery Mayhem exhibited at the Royal Wedding, the Queen has announced her disfavor by stripping 'personal protection' from the Princesses of Yuk, Beatrice and Eugenie, an act which is said will hamper their 'pub cra...
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Funny story: Frugal Luv Story: Andrew & Fergie Set to Renew Vows April 29 With Will & Kate In Order To Cut Expenses!

Frugal Luv Story: Andrew & Fergie Set to Renew Vows April 29 With Will & Kate In Order To Cut Expenses!

Finally realizing the inevitable, the Duke and Duchess of Yuk have announced they are getting back together and in order to save taxpayers' money have chosen to renew their vows outside Westminster Abbey simultaneously with Prince William and Kate Ap...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight to be split in two

Isle of Wight to be split in two

The Parliamentary Voting and Constituencies Bill has now received Royal Assent and as a result, the Isle of Wight will have two constituencies instead of one. The Electoral Commission will now decide on which basis the island will be split. Previo...
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Funny story: Red Tops' glee as Miley knicker shots found on Prince Andrew's mobile

Red Tops' glee as Miley knicker shots found on Prince Andrew's mobile

London - The pictures were accidentally hacked into by Daily Smearer reporters on the edge of the Andy Coulson affair. Their existence has seen a furious Palace rumpus erupt as the UK Representative for Rough Trade And Investment fights to save hi...
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Funny story: Queen orders No-Fly Zone around Prince Andrew's trouser zippers

Queen orders No-Fly Zone around Prince Andrew's trouser zippers

London - The Duke of York has had to cancel a 'Big Bang: UK Young Scientists Fair' trip this Friday over 'unfortunate connotations'. The Max Mosley-lookalike freeloader has been told he'll have to keep those adolf-esecent Big Bang theories to hims...
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Funny story: Prince Andrew Resignation Confirmed

Prince Andrew Resignation Confirmed

Prince Andrew has bowed to mounting pressure and resigned from his post as the U.K's Special Representative for International Trade and Investment. The decision had looked increasingly inevitable over the last few days after it emerged that the Pr...
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Funny story: 'Too disruptive' Fergie and Andy denied exile in Libya

'Too disruptive' Fergie and Andy denied exile in Libya

Royal shock machines Sorry, Doshless of York, and Andrew, Duke of Hopeless, are set to be exiled as soon as an unsuitable country can be found to accept them. But apparently even the worst places on earth have their limits. Given her fondness f...
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Funny story: Prince Andrew's Application To Join Gambino Crime Family Rejected

Prince Andrew's Application To Join Gambino Crime Family Rejected

It's just been revealed by a guy smoking a cigar outside the 16th Street Social Club in Queens, New York that HRH Prince Andrew's application to join the Gambino crime family has been declined. Prince Andrew's nefarious activities have been recent...
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Funny story: Queen's Pancake Day Shockhorror

Queen's Pancake Day Shockhorror

London - An image of Prince Andrew with a Hitler mustache has appeared on Palace pancakes. The dish of scrummy crepes had been cooked up for the Queen's Shrove Tuesday pleasure tomorrow. It was to feature at a Palace party honoring delightful y...
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Funny story: Queen Considering Changing Name of Royal House to The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight

Queen Considering Changing Name of Royal House to The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight

The Queen is said to be considering a spring House (of Windsor) cleaning as the Duke of York's With-Friends-Like-These scandal threatens to turn into a real toe sucker. Bad news is swamping the monarchy at a pace not seen since the Royal Divorce-Off...
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Bill Clinton: U. S. can't win ground war vs. Iraq

Bill Clinton insists the U. S. armed forces cannot win a land war against Iraq "or any other country, no matter how many booties are on the ground, because there are too many gays in the military."

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