Two gay Colombian priests could not bring it upon themselves to either "come out" or tell the Catholic church (which is 85% gay anyway). So they hired a "hit man" to murder them because the Catholic church does not allow gay preists to commit suicide...
It was indeed a sad day for inhabitants of the parochial village of 'Stoke Pogues' as the local vicar Reverend Arthur Basingston committed suicide - inadvertently eradicating the local demographic.
In the ultimate act of self-destruction, he stra...
Vatican--Karl Rove is sick of exploiting the weak-minded with tales of how some mysterious figure is trying to take away all their rights.
"I feel the horrible burden of my sins, all the lies, like Republicans care about the unborn children of po...
In response to the recent wave of scandals regarding sexual abuse by priests, the Catholic church has decided to outsource the job.
"It makes perfect sense", claims Monseignor Balfour of the Archdiocese of Rome. "Every time one of the priests gets...
Huntington, West 'By God!' Virginia Sheriff's Department today confirmed that hell raising former Jesuit priest Monsignor Francois DuBois has been placed under house arrest again.
Mainly for being 'meddlesome' and 'causing trouble.'
This isn't...
Pope Benedict XV1 will during the Consistory he has called for November 20 announce that all priests will be fitted with chastity belts.
This unprecedented papal decision has been reached to stop priests from indulging in any kind of sexual activi...
Bloomington, Minnesota, July 1, 2010 -- A huge convention of Catholic ex-priests descended on the Mall of America today for the purpose of paying special attention to the area's children.
"It's only once per year that we get to play Santa for the...
After the many recent scandals involving the Roman Catholic church and sex, there was only a muffled silence this morning when it was announced that a Catholic priest had been found who was 'completely normal' .
The priest, identified from thousan...
Following yet another explosive news report where Tiger Woods is accused of an extra-marital affair, this time with a local girl he met when she was 14, Woods announced that he may leave golf and his wife in favor of a simpler life in the priesthood.
Vatican - It appears that Pope Benedict XVI has had an epiphany with regards to the sex scandal that has continued to plague the Catholic Church-lack of fish in a priest's diet can lead to inappropriate sexual behavior toward young men.
The Pope h...
Osama Bin Laden, the former terrorist, announced his retirement and subsequent acceptance for priesthood in the Catholic Church. Encouraged by the fact that the world considered the 911 attack a hoax Father Laden completed the conversion with a press...
After a wild binge drinking session German protestant "High Priestess", Frau Kaessmann, admitted to being totally plastered, jumping in her VW Phaeman, driving through 5 red lights and hitting a lampost dressed as GOD! (well in her state she would ha...
The hierarchy of the Catholic Church is worried. They need deeper penetration of the world's youth. They have a powerful need to get deep inside the young people of today, and plant the seed of Jesus inside them. It is urgent.
"We're going to give them a WELT," says the Vatican.
Although the Church counts its flock in the hundreds of millions, numbers in developed, white, important countries...
A survey by the Universidad de Roma found that American Priests do not follow Catholic norms. While the Catholic ministers from the United States seem to be constatntly in the news for their sexual exploits and conquests of little boys, the average...
The rural town of Ahsbourne is well known for its closely-knit community, its efficient farm produce, and most of all - its loyal church goers.
Every sacred Sunday, congregations gather within St. John's Church to indulge the cherished preachings...
An American priest has outraged his parish by taking them for fools after it was revealed that he had an alternate motive for wanting everyone to close their eyes when r.
Smoking Jones, a New-Yorker priest, admits to using the time when everyone i...
(Vatican City) - The Vatican today announced that anyone attempting to ordain a woman into the priesthood would be excommunicated, as would the woman herself. The decree was signed by Cardinal William "Misogy" Levada, prefect of the congre...
The Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli decided that there was no better way to get closer to God than to tie himself to hundreds of balloons and fly up to the Lord himself.