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Southampton to be relegated by Halloween claims local man

Funny story: Southampton to be relegated by Halloween claims local man

Southampton were tipped to be the first team to be 'mathematically relegated by Hallowen' last night as the Saints struggled to pick up a point in a tough opening month. Local man Mark Le Tissueface told local paper 'The News' the 'Adkins diet' wasn'...

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International Superstars Line Up For Stricken Pompey!

Funny story: International Superstars Line Up For Stricken Pompey!

Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Carlos Tevez, Juan Mata... a team line-up to die for? Well it seems fans of stricken Portsmouth, will soon be on life support as some of the greatest names in the game sign up to help the club out of its difficulti...

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Football Gossip & comments 26th August 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 26th August 2012

Liverpool striker Luis Suarez insists he has a nice side despite admitting he gets angry on the pitch. (The Guardian) And if you disagree with him, he'll bite your ****ing ear off! Tevez is my role model says Luis Suarez (Daily Star) Er yeah, that could be were your going wrong Luis. Balram Chainrai, the former Portsmouth owner, has submitted a new offer in a bid to buy the League One cl...

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Football Gossip & comments 3rd August 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 3rd August 2012

Portsmouth are due to play a friendly against AFC Wimbledon next week and such are their financial problems their squad list in the programme is empty. (Metro) Bring your boots - you might get a game! Liverpool beat Gomel 1-0 in Belarus in the First leg of the First Round of the Europa League, with a goal from Stewart Downing. Who said Stewart Downing can't produce the goods at the highest l...

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Portsmouth Live To Fight Another Day - Super Fan 'Over The Moon'

Funny story: Portsmouth Live To Fight Another Day - Super Fan 'Over The Moon'

A sensational victory at doomed Doncaster on Saturday means struggling Portsmouth managed to stave off relegation for another week. As Bristol City only managed a draw at Birmingham, cash-strapped, in-administration Pompey still have a mathematica...

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Portsmouth Super Fan Welcomes Relegation

Funny story: Portsmouth Super Fan Welcomes Relegation

Former Premier League and 2008 FA Cup winners, Portsmouth, face the possibility of relegation to the third tier of English football today. Proud Pompey will go down to the confusingly-named Division One if they fail to better Bristol City's result...

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Portsmouth And Southampton - Honours Even (But We Won Really, Says Pompey Superfan)

Funny story: Portsmouth And Southampton - Honours Even (But We Won Really, Says Pompey Superfan)

Police looked on helplessy as football broke out between two south coast rivals at Southampton on Saturday. Southampton and Portsmouth fans stopped hurling insults and punches at eachother to watch two teams try to play a game of association footb...

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Peyton Manning Shocks Sports World - Quits NFL For Ailing Limey Soccer Outfit

Funny story: Peyton Manning Shocks Sports World - Quits NFL For Ailing Limey Soccer Outfit

Sports fans on both sides of the Atlantic were stunned today to learn that iconic Indianapolis Colts quarterback, Peyton Manning, has quit the NFL to play soccer in England. And his choice of club could not be further from the heady heights he enj...

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Queen Cleared Harry Redknapp Says Portsmouth Superfan

Funny story: Queen Cleared Harry Redknapp Says Portsmouth Superfan

Tottenham Hotspur manager Harry Redknapp was cleared of tax evasion by a jury at Southwark Crown Court today. He spoke of his relief at the end of the five-year ordeal concerning an off-shore bank account and accusations of bungs over the sale of...

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Portsmouth FC players sent into town with begging bowls!

Funny story: Portsmouth FC players sent into town with begging bowls!

The players of Portsmouth FC, one of the oldest football clubs in the UK, have had their afternoon training sessions cancelled because the chairman has demanded that players go out and beg for their money. Portsmouth owe a substantial amount to th...

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Pompey Cash Crisis - At Last, Something To Celebrate!

Funny story: Pompey Cash Crisis - At Last, Something To Celebrate!

The latest cash crisis at Portsmouth FC has been welcomed by "superfan" Jake Seaport. The club announced yesterday that it has been hit with a winding-up order by HM Customes and Revenue over an unpaid tax bill of £1.6 million. The crisis has been...

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Pompey Ownership Saga: Superfan Runs Away

Funny story: Pompey Ownership Saga: Superfan Runs Away

Friends and family of Portsmouth 'superfan' Jake Seaport were concerned for his safety last night. Mr Seaport, 39, of Southsea, was last seen running along Goldsmith Avenue away from Fratton Park late yesterday after an interview with EIF News &am...

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Chelsea Spared By Pompey - Not Next Time, Says Fan

Funny story: Chelsea Spared By Pompey - Not Next Time, Says Fan

Chelsea's victory over Portsmouth in the third round of the FA Cup yesterday has been welcomed by a Pompey fan, though he is disapppointed by the London club's behaviour. As we reported on Saturday, Fratton Park 'superfan' Jake Seaport asked his h...

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Pompey Urged To Go Easy On Chelsea

Funny story: Pompey Urged To Go Easy On Chelsea

As the third round of the FA Cup arrives, most fans lick their lips in anticipation of excitement and upsets. But one fan is hoping his second-tier team will take pity on their Premier League opponents. Portsmouth "super fan" Jake Seaport is ur...

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Portsmouth v Southampton: "Football May Break Out!" Police Warn

Funny story: Portsmouth v Southampton: "Football May Break Out!" Police Warn

Portsmouth, home of the Royal Navy, is bracing itself this morning in anticipation of a visit by neighbours from Southampton at lunch time and the fear that a game of football might take place. "We're prepared for the visit of the Scummers," said...

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Pompey - By Royal Appointment?

Funny story: Pompey - By Royal Appointment?

As Portsmouth FC finds itself embroiled in yet another financial scandal, one fan has come up with an answer to the crisis. The future of the south coast club was once again thrown into doubt yesterday after owner Vladimir Antonov's company, CSI,...

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Blood Pressure Cure? I Know A Much Easier One Claims Local Man

Funny story: Blood Pressure Cure? I Know A Much Easier One Claims Local Man

Scientists claim to have found the cause of high blood pressure. The discovery means that it maybe possible to develop specialist drugs to tackle the problem and save thousands of lives every year. A PhD student, Francine Marques, supervised by...

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Arsenal Against Chelsea Best Part Of 'Day To Forget' For Local Man

Funny story: Arsenal Against Chelsea Best Part Of 'Day To Forget' For Local Man

A local man claims that Saturday will be a day to forget. Mr Gideon Lambrusco claimed to be "minding his own business" when his day just started to unravel for no apparent reason. "I just don't get it," said Mr Lambrusco, 46, of Panfried Garden...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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