Washington - A cover-up about mad-as-hatter former Pontiff Karol Wojtyla is lying in tatters following the resignation of his German successor and top apologist Pope Joseph Ratzinger.
"No wonder US Defense Secretary Leon Panetta begged Pope Benny-...
Civitavecchia, Italy - A vile [sic] sample of the late Pontiff's O-Negative has been nicked in a backpack incident at an Italian seaside town.
The theft has sent shockwaves among Karol Wojtyla's bastard children whose existence has been whitewashe...
London - In a spooky echo reminiscent of 'He's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty little boy' a direct descendant of Knights Templar Grand Master Jacques de Molay has hit out over daft 'sacred initiation' claims by accused Norwegian mass murde...
Washington - "Sure fitted the bill in terms of the Bush Sr/Quayle Administration official profile, heheh," was how one retired Federal official described the FBI report today.
Drawn up in 1991 during George Bush Senior's presidency the file descri...
Vatican City-- A very stoned Pope Benedict XVI has just beatified rock legends John Lennon and Paul McCartney by mistake. The stoner pope smoked too much weed before the ceremony, and confused John and Paul with Pope John Paul II. The beatification...
Pope John Paul II, leader of the Catholic Church for over a quarter of a century, was finally beatified in Rome. Beatificiation is the process where people who are alive decide that a dead person is actually a saint, and elevate them to that level t...
Rome - The Vatican has hijacked Sunday's pagan New Year's Day to beatify a monster exhumed in a public freakshow.
United Grand Coven sources said today veneration of the six year-old corpse - and a 'sacred' vile (sic) of his blood - is typical of...
In today's Washington Post it was reported that Pope John Paul II has moved even closer to becoming a saint. Evidentially the beatification will be held on May 1st.
To be granted the highest honor of the Catholic church there must be indisputabl...
It was discovered that the Vatican plans on putting Pope John Paul II one step closer to becoming a saint through a process known as beatification even though he never discovered a cure for any human diseases or developed any major invention to help...
Rome - (Holy Shit!): The final coats of whitewash will ensure a permanent glossy varnish on Karol Wojtyla's undeniably hideous, sordid life.
This has included the mysterious death of his predecessor Pope John Paul 1 - whose 30 day reign was report...
Many Christians are tossing around the idea that the vuvuzela has become one of the new seven deadly plagues mentioned by Pope John Paul II in a 2003 speech. In addition, they are blaming BP Oil for at least three other deadly plagues caused by the o...
Needing three confirmed miracles to become a saint, a group of 1960's hippies and ex-hippies have sworn that Pope John Paul II helped them levitate the Pentagon in 1969.
"He wasn't a pope then but a Polish priest", stated one old-timer, still suck...
Smolensk - (Pie-in-the-Sky): President Lech Kaczynski, who died in a mystery plane crash at the weekend, was Pope John Paul II's son and a secret protégé of current Pope Joe Ratzinger.
Kaczynski, 61, and his monozygotic twin Jaroslaw, 69, had been...
Miley Cyrus is the latest Hollywood star to come out in support of imprisoned director Roman Polanski. Polanski is being held in Europe awaiting extradition to the United States on an outstanding warrant in a 32 year old rape case. The victim was a...
A tell all book by the Cardinal who was the chief aide to Pope John Paul II has revealed that the Pope was stabbed in 1982, just one year after a shooting almost took his life. The knife wound was not fatal and the Vatican released a report that the...
Rome - (Satanic Mess): Plans to make Pope John Paul II a saint are on a roll just as soon as the Vatican makes the necessary arrangements for the customary drive-by shooting to eradicate the principal witness against him.
Paris-France; In scenes reminiscent of a Mother Teresa press conference, French nun Sister Marie Simon-Jolie faced the worlds media today and told proudly of how the former Pontiff Pope John Paul II had cured her of her terrible addiction to the Brit...