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Funny story: Pope Francis declines lunch invitation by dirty bums to dine with homeless instead

Pope Francis declines lunch invitation by dirty bums to dine with homeless instead

On the day of his much publicized arrival in the United States Pope Francis politely declined an invitation to have lunch with some of the top leaders in Washington to serve lunch to the homeless at St. Patrick's Church in Washington D.C. House...
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Funny story: Pope Canonises Controversial Fryer

Pope Canonises Controversial Fryer

On his first trip to America, Pope Francis has made a saint out of a 39-year-old fish fryer who some say is more of a sinner. More than 30,000,000 people converged on a Washington Basilica Wednesday to witness the canonization of Danny Morgan, a f...
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Funny story: Pope Criticized For Speaking on Economics

Pope Criticized For Speaking on Economics

Quito, Ecuador - Visiting a poor village in Ecuador made a powerful impression on the Pope, who returned to Quito and commented to reporters that "policy must change" and "economics must be about the people and bettering their lives". Critics lau...
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Funny story: Holy smoke! Pope confirms Joseph P Kennedy sainthood move

Holy smoke! Pope confirms Joseph P Kennedy sainthood move

Santa Monica Lewinsky, California - "Sure is a miracle he never got busted," a US Justice Department source tweeted as the news of the American wartime ambassador to the Caught of St James's canonisation spread. Joseph P Kennedy, paterfamilias of...
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Funny story: Texas frackers tender for Vatican's lucrative exorcism, relic-selling and excommunications business

Texas frackers tender for Vatican's lucrative exorcism, relic-selling and excommunications business

Irving, Texas - A hydraulic fracturing trade association is bidding to take over large parts of the Vatican's hocus pocus division after the Pope fingered the global fossil fuel industry for turning the planet into a 'pile of filth'. Executives at...
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Funny story: Pope makes plea to save the planet by resigning!

Pope makes plea to save the planet by resigning!

Pope Francis has seen the light and decided to be the first one who puts his mouth where his money is or is it the other way round? He has offered to resign and take a huge step to make the world a better place! The Vatican have offered him 2 mill...
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Funny story: Ex-Pope Ratzinger Doing Well After Exorcism

Ex-Pope Ratzinger Doing Well After Exorcism

Ex-Pope Ratzinger is recuperating well after an emergency exorcism was performed on him. Eight exorcists, three of them Cardinals from Africa, Germany and Ireland spent seven weeks, seven hours and seven minutes casting out demons from the ex-Pontif...
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Funny story: Pope Insists Priests Refrain from Cunnilingus

Pope Insists Priests Refrain from Cunnilingus

The Pope sent an IM to his top American Priests today telling them to desist immeddiately from any sex that would put them at risk from HPV Virus He said: "in recent years scientists have documented a steep rise in throat cancers caused by a strai...
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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi Slams Barbaric Vatican Regime

Nancy Pelosi Slams Barbaric Vatican Regime

It seems not everybody is charmed by Pope Francis. Indeed, one prominent US politician, Nancy Pelosi, is planning very stern measures to punish what she considers to be the right wing, unaccountable, and generally depraved policies and order of gover...
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Funny story: Pope sells Lent to the Scamatologists for $69 billion

Pope sells Lent to the Scamatologists for $69 billion

The Vatican -- The Roman Catholic Church has given up Lent. In an unprecedented financial maneuver, Pope Francis has turned over the 40 day, 40 night period of atonement to the Church of Scamatology. The sale price was $69 billion. That buys the...
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Funny story: Pope professes his fondness for Kanye West, declares all other music "obsolete"

Pope professes his fondness for Kanye West, declares all other music "obsolete"

Vatican City- In what is sure to be earth shattering news, earlier today Pope Francis declared his love of Kanye West, calling him "the greatest musical mind of the last 100 years". His holiness commented: "If our Lord and Savior were here with u...
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Funny story: Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

The Vatican well known for it's lofty metaphysical discussions about the meaning of life like whether children will go to hell for masturbating and if women's orgasm are sinful and important philosophical quandaries like that - has now turned to deep...
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Funny story: Pope offers new guidelines for flock's bedroom behavior

Pope offers new guidelines for flock's bedroom behavior

Once again, Pope Francis is trying to manage the intimate details of the lives of his flock. Previously, in a mixed metaphor, the pontiff raised eyebrows by suggesting that the faithful, who are made in God's image, are "not rabbits" and should no...
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Funny story: Confessions to Gay Priests Don't Count says Pope Francis

Confessions to Gay Priests Don't Count says Pope Francis

In an amazing revelation from His Eminence in the Vatican today; The Pope asserted during an interview with the Catholic Times Magazine, that Catholics who gave their confessions to Homo Priests would not be absolved from their sins -- he stated; "Priests who have been found outa to be queers have no standing with Goda, and any absolutions whicha they gave --are null and voida!" Catholic Ti...
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Funny story: Pope building showers and Brazilian waxing spa for 'homeless' altar boys

Pope building showers and Brazilian waxing spa for 'homeless' altar boys

Rome - Some pre-War pubic restrooms in the Catacombs have been given a makeover by the Pope with the installation of three showers, a barber's and a dumb waiter for homeless altar boys in need of a scrub. Clients, some as old as fourteen or fifte...
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Funny story: Religion Drives Man Crazy

Religion Drives Man Crazy

On the evidence of the witness who inhabited the flat beneath the defendant's the judge had no hesitation but to refer the defendant for psychiatric evaluation. The charges of malicious damage to property and disturbing the peace were dropped on compassionate grounds. The judge had reached the decision after questioning the witness thoroughly and allowing his tape recording of the events leadi...
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Funny story: Dead Argie Prosecutor 'Had Daft Warrant For President' - Sure Sign Pope To Blame

Dead Argie Prosecutor 'Had Daft Warrant For President' - Sure Sign Pope To Blame

Buenos Aires - Pope Frankie-the-Argie is in the dog house tonight following Revelations** that a senior Buenos Aires prosecutor has dropped dead because of a 'daft' warrant. His Holiness' psychotic daughter Kristina Fernandez de Kirchner is also i...
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Funny story: Pope hopes to clean up

Pope hopes to clean up

To show the compassion of the church, Pope Frances ordered Vatican barbers to offer homeless men and women a shave and a haircut for "two bits" (twenty-five cents). The proceeds, the pontiff said, will be added to the church's "coffers," except in th...
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