Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has announced from the balcony of Castel Gandolfo the excommunication of Pope Francis.
The announcement occurred on Holy Saturday and it was followed by the mandate that the newly-installed Pontiff vacate the Vatican S...
According to confidential sources within the Vatican Curia, Pope Francis has served an eviction notice on Pope Emeritus Benedict. The former pope has one week from Easter Sunday to vacate Castel Gandolfo or answer to the Italian courts.
The act...
KILLEM COURT, Connecticut - Rodney McSausagefoot was beaten senseless in a parking lot of a Catholic church in Connecticut's Killem Court Projects for sparking up a joint filled with marijuana after hearing of the Vatican's announcement of a new Pope...
In a shock announcement by the Vatican today, it has been confirmed that Simon Cowell, the mastermind behind popular talent shows such as "Britain's Got Morons" and "£X-Factor" is being drafted in to bring some life to the process for choosing a new...
Vatican- Today in Rome Cardinals in the conclave debated what the new Pope must be able to do. Quite surprisingly there seemed to be a spirit to include some very new kinds of skills:
* Dancing
* Singing
* Lead guitar
* Tamborine
* Gangnam Style...
The Vatican made the startling announcement that, for the first time, they would be appointing a Protestant pope.
Onlookers were startled when the new pope suddenly ran out of the Vatican and ripped his papal clothes to shreds. "You don't n...
LOS ANGELES - Word out of the Vatican is that Pope Benedict XVI, has informed his press secretary Leonora Sardinia to set up a meeting with the much troubled Tinsel Town starlet Lindsay Lohan.
The pope, 85, said that last week he received a text m...
Rome---Not long after stunning his followers by announcing his sudden retirement, Pope Benedict XVI has delivered his farewell speech before a huge crowd of cheering supporters.
In his speech the Pope explained his reasons for quitting, something no Pope has done in centuries. Here is a condensed version of the Pope's address:
Dear followers, I greet you, and I am honored by you...
St. Louis - Matt Holiday of the Cardinals announced today that the Cardinals have picked Satan to be the new Pope. While there are no good Catholics on the team, many are well versed in the ways of the Vatican.
"We feel Satan best represents the...
Vatican City -- As he retires as the mystical leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict is being honored for the miracles he performed while pontiff. Among the amazing feats with which he is credited are these wonders:
Converted the Pope Mobil...
Soon-to-be former Bishop of Rome, Successor of St. Peter, Head of the College of Bishops, Vicar of Christ, and Pastor of the Universal Church: Pope Benedict XVI has snagged a new part-time job as a Wal-Mart greeter at a superstore in Raleigh, North C...
THE VATICAN - Italy's national news agency The Daily Vino has just reported that Pope Benedict XVI, 85, has made a highly surprising announcement.
The leader of the Catholic church said that he has decided that after his resignation becomes offici...
Vatican - Pope Benedick has stepped down as Pope. According to Vatican sources he is pregnant and has been showing under his robes for about month.
Cardinal Jose Sardouchey, who fathered the child, said in a press conference earlier today that he...
The Vatican has officially appointed its first openly gay Pope, at least in this century.
The rumor was confirmed today at noon when pink incense smoke was seen stylishly smoldering from the Vatican. The Vatican News put out an official announcem...
The Vatican has received Word from God that the Almighty is suing Pope Benedict XVI for breach of contract following the Pontiff's recent announcement that he will resign as head of the Catholic Church.
Vatican lawyers received the news in an epip...
Vatican City - A massive scandal broke at the Vatican less than two weeks away from a historic papal resignation. The Pope Benedict's personal yoga instructor has just revealed that the leader of the Catholic Church will become the leader of the Chur...
With Pope Benedict's edict that he will retire soon, superstar Kevin Garnett dropped a net on the ever-speculating press about his own retirement, but this threat may be a ploy to accept a trade from the green C's to the Holy See team.
Could it be...
Former Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has been elected Pope in a widely expected effort by The Vatican to increase the Church's popularity. Members of the Papal Conclave, charged with electing a new Pope, studied Blair's 1997 Election campaign material...