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Funny story: Pope fires head of private army, says hat 'wasn't pointy enough' - reports

Pope fires head of private army, says hat 'wasn't pointy enough' - reports

Rome - The big cheese in charge of guarding the Pope has been booted out of the Vatican for violating its strict regimental dress code. Commander Guido Emmental's brightly colored Comb Moron - uh, Comb Morion! - a traditional helmet made from alt...
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Funny story: Secret Recording of Pope's Conversation Released

Secret Recording of Pope's Conversation Released

A tape recording of a private conversation between President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and visiting Pope Francis has been smuggled out of Turkey. Released on the internet only last night, it is already causing severe embarrassment to all concerned. Th...
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Funny story: Pope rents out Fisting Chapel porch for party

Pope rents out Fisting Chapel porch for party

Rome - The cash-strapped Pope is renting out the porch of his Apostolic Palace in the Vatican for a $5,900-per-head fisting party according to reports. Frankie the Argie stands to make $250,000 from the shindig which is part of his Diabolical Arts...
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Funny story: Pope to Take On British Sex Scandal Enquiry

Pope to Take On British Sex Scandal Enquiry

The Pope has accepted the plea from Theresa May, Brittain's Home Secretary, to look into the alleged sex scandals among the British Establishment. 'We do not want someone too close to Brittain' she told a rowdy House of Commons 'The Pope is the id...
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Funny story: Vatican mobile library seized with 4kg of cocaine

Vatican mobile library seized with 4kg of cocaine

France - A Vatican mobile lending library belonging to the Pope's Argentinian colleague Retired Cardinal Jorge Mejia, 93, has been busted in Lyon for peddling cocaine. Police say four kilos of 95% pure Colombian coke was confiscated along with hal...
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Funny story: Shameless spin as Pope schmoozes up to Sudanese apostate woman

Shameless spin as Pope schmoozes up to Sudanese apostate woman

Rome - The Roamin Catlick church is in the doghouse tonight following widespread condemnation of a PR stunt involving Sudanese apostate woman Meriam Yahia Ibrahim Ishag. The 30-something mother of two flew to Rome with her family for a photo op w...
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Funny story: Pope Fears The Voice's Sr. Cristina May Want His Job

Pope Fears The Voice's Sr. Cristina May Want His Job

He's a nervous wreck these days, as he thinks unemployment could be looming. Sr. Cristina may want to be Pope, he's told friends, adding, "And she' a triple threat. She sings, she dances, she prays. And one more thing. She's Italian, which is...
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Funny story: Mexico Going Out of Business

Mexico Going Out of Business

Mexico City - The United Mexican States - more commonly referred to as simply Mexico - will close its doors later this year after 97 years as a country in its current political form. Modern-day Mexico had its beginnings with the Mexican Revolution in...
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Funny story: Pope To Translate Bible to 140 Characters #blessed

Pope To Translate Bible to 140 Characters #blessed

The streets of the Vatican were bustling as White Smoke alerted all the citizens. White Smoke being the official app of the Pope. The sound of Marimba echoing through the streets. "Oh Our God! Is the Pope #RIP?" tweeted @vatikitty12. Sighs of relief...
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Funny story: I'm a saint

I'm a saint

I'm a saint. No, it's true! I just heard it on the News. Pope Francis has declared me a saint. Miracles are second nature to me. As I write, adoring hordes are beating their way to the door of my bungalow because I have experienced miracles. It's a miracle I'm still alive after that near miss with the articulated lorry at that road junction near Gerona in Spain with Dennis and Gordon in Dennis's A...
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Funny story: BBC Top Gear special 'Pope my Ride'

BBC Top Gear special 'Pope my Ride'

In honour of canonising Popes John Paul II and John XXII, the BBC are advertising, every hour on the hour, seemingly forever, a blockbuster Top Gear special to be screened this week. The job-lot of saints John are to be celebrated with an action-packed epic of irreverent and barely legal japery. With His Holiness Pope Francis as the star guest, the team undertake an engineering Health and Safet...
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Funny story: Amazing what a couple of grams of coke can do as Pope Joe Ratzinger wheeled out of cryogenic stasis

Amazing what a couple of grams of coke can do as Pope Joe Ratzinger wheeled out of cryogenic stasis

Vatican Shitty, Rome - Half a dozen toots up each nostril and the Deserter Pope Joseph Ratzinger made it to today's canonisation double act a newly envigorated man. The 87 year-old former Nazi appeared in full Pontifical bling after a year's abse...
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Funny story: Pope Requests Vatican Cafeteria Add Pudding

Pope Requests Vatican Cafeteria Add Pudding

Vatican City - Pope Francis, the current head of the Roman Catholic Church, has requested that pudding be added as a selection at the Vatican cafeteria. The Pontiff, in office since 13 March 2013, has a deserved reputation of humility, caring fo...
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Funny story: Pope's penance to include 'I Am A Bully' sign

Pope's penance to include 'I Am A Bully' sign

Rome - The European Court of Human Frights has imposed a community service sentence on the Pope ordering him to wear a 'I AM A BULLY!' placard around his neck. For five hours every Sunday until the death of his predecessor, the Deserter Pope Joe R...
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Funny story: Argie Pope gives royal baby Nazi artefuct

Argie Pope gives royal baby Nazi artefuct

Rome - Someone in the Vatican has been watching too many Indiana Jones reruns and decided to play a 'Holy Grail' hoax on young Prince George. At a televised reception in his private quarters today Pope Frankie-the-Argie defied the Geneva Conventio...
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Funny story: Pope Francis Says He'll Allow Same-Sex Marriages But Only If The Couple Donates $1,000 To The Church

Pope Francis Says He'll Allow Same-Sex Marriages But Only If The Couple Donates $1,000 To The Church

VATICAN CITY - Italy's El Vino News Agency is reporting that Pope Francis in an effort to reach a type of middle ground has made a new ruling on the same-sex marriage controversy. The pope speaking in the parking lot of a local Pompous Pizza Parlo...
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Funny story: Pope Drops C-Bomb, When Questioned by Female Reporter about F-Bomb

Pope Drops C-Bomb, When Questioned by Female Reporter about F-Bomb

VATICAN CITY - The Pope accidentally dropped the F-Bomb during a speech yesterday during his Sunday blessing. While giving his weekly blessing from the Vatican, Pope Francis mentioned the word 'f***' in Italian before correcting himself. Within...
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Funny story: Fine scarlet silk robes for Pope's 19 new Cardinals but were any of them wearing knickers?

Fine scarlet silk robes for Pope's 19 new Cardinals but were any of them wearing knickers?

Rome - At first glance the nineteen extravagantly kitted devil dodgers congregating in Rome today to receive the church's highest gong were sporting ten thousand dollarsworth of silken couture topped off by unmistakeable Cardinal red silk hats. Un...
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Showing page 1 (of 39 pages)
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Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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