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Funny story: God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

Last night, the whole of Europe was brought to a standstill when, exactly at midnight, a white-haired, bearded figure appeared on every television set on the continent. Crowds poured out of pubs and restaurants, many of them hysterical; public transport came to a halt as millions gathered in city squares and churches. The Pope appealed for calm; but nobody was listening to him. The followi...
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Funny story: Boys, Boys, Boys! It's what a priest dreams of.

Boys, Boys, Boys! It's what a priest dreams of.

Under-aged CIA reporter Johnny Pedo-Hunter, who has been sniffing around the Vatican looking for some dirty news, has just reported back to HQ what everybody knew anyway - kiddies porno has been found sitting on laps and tops and PCs in the holy cath...
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Funny story: Paddy O'Shea, Pope Francis and Blasphemy

Paddy O'Shea, Pope Francis and Blasphemy

"Pope Francis has defended freedom of expression following last week's attack on French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo - but also stressed its limits. The Pontiff said religions had to be treated with respect, so that people's faiths was not insulted or ridiculed. To illustrate his point, he told journalists that his assistant could expect a punch if he cursed his mother." (BBC report)...
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Funny story: Tony Blair Calls for the Restoration of Pope Benedict XVI -- Announces International "Bring Back Benny" Campaign

Tony Blair Calls for the Restoration of Pope Benedict XVI -- Announces International "Bring Back Benny" Campaign

London-Former British Prime Minister and converted Catholic Tony Blair called upon the Vatican today to immediately remove "dangerously subversive" Pope Francis I, and reinstate his "politically more realistic" predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI.
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Funny story: A Christmas Selection Of 10 Badass Popes

A Christmas Selection Of 10 Badass Popes

1) Pope Stephen VI: had his predecessor Formosus, exhumed, tried, de-fingered, and thrown to the river. and his death by strangling. 2 The Pope who sold the papacy. Benedict IX was Pope from 1032 to 1044, again in 1045, and finally from 1047 to 1048, the only man to have served as Pope for three discontinuous periods, and one of the most controversial Popes of all time. Benedict gave up his...
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Funny story: Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

VATICAN CITY PAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT. The following was broadcast last night by Pope Francis from Rome. "The Holy See's concern with the march of materialism has prompted her to reinstate PENANCE as the primary mode of the expiation of sins. For too long we have ignored the sacrament and its healing power. The global obsession with transient pleasures, with material things, with cosmetics, travel...
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Funny story: Pope fires head of private army, says hat 'wasn't pointy enough' - reports

Pope fires head of private army, says hat 'wasn't pointy enough' - reports

Rome - The big cheese in charge of guarding the Pope has been booted out of the Vatican for violating its strict regimental dress code. Commander Guido Emmental's brightly colored Comb Moron - uh, Comb Morion! - a traditional helmet made from alt...
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Funny story: Secret Recording of Pope's Conversation Released

Secret Recording of Pope's Conversation Released

A tape recording of a private conversation between President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and visiting Pope Francis has been smuggled out of Turkey. Released on the internet only last night, it is already causing severe embarrassment to all concerned. Th...
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Funny story: Pope rents out Fisting Chapel porch for party

Pope rents out Fisting Chapel porch for party

Rome - The cash-strapped Pope is renting out the porch of his Apostolic Palace in the Vatican for a $5,900-per-head fisting party according to reports. Frankie the Argie stands to make $250,000 from the shindig which is part of his Diabolical Arts...
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Funny story: Pope to Take On British Sex Scandal Enquiry

Pope to Take On British Sex Scandal Enquiry

The Pope has accepted the plea from Theresa May, Brittain's Home Secretary, to look into the alleged sex scandals among the British Establishment. 'We do not want someone too close to Brittain' she told a rowdy House of Commons 'The Pope is the id...
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Funny story: Vatican mobile library seized with 4kg of cocaine

Vatican mobile library seized with 4kg of cocaine

France - A Vatican mobile lending library belonging to the Pope's Argentinian colleague Retired Cardinal Jorge Mejia, 93, has been busted in Lyon for peddling cocaine. Police say four kilos of 95% pure Colombian coke was confiscated along with hal...
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Funny story: Shameless spin as Pope schmoozes up to Sudanese apostate woman

Shameless spin as Pope schmoozes up to Sudanese apostate woman

Rome - The Roamin Catlick church is in the doghouse tonight following widespread condemnation of a PR stunt involving Sudanese apostate woman Meriam Yahia Ibrahim Ishag. The 30-something mother of two flew to Rome with her family for a photo op w...
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Funny story: Pope Fears The Voice's Sr. Cristina May Want His Job

Pope Fears The Voice's Sr. Cristina May Want His Job

He's a nervous wreck these days, as he thinks unemployment could be looming. Sr. Cristina may want to be Pope, he's told friends, adding, "And she' a triple threat. She sings, she dances, she prays. And one more thing. She's Italian, which is...
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Funny story: Mexico Going Out of Business

Mexico Going Out of Business

Mexico City - The United Mexican States - more commonly referred to as simply Mexico - will close its doors later this year after 97 years as a country in its current political form. Modern-day Mexico had its beginnings with the Mexican Revolution in...
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Funny story: Pope To Translate Bible to 140 Characters #blessed

Pope To Translate Bible to 140 Characters #blessed

The streets of the Vatican were bustling as White Smoke alerted all the citizens. White Smoke being the official app of the Pope. The sound of Marimba echoing through the streets. "Oh Our God! Is the Pope #RIP?" tweeted @vatikitty12. Sighs of relief...
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Funny story: I'm a saint

I'm a saint

I'm a saint. No, it's true! I just heard it on the News. Pope Francis has declared me a saint. Miracles are second nature to me. As I write, adoring hordes are beating their way to the door of my bungalow because I have experienced miracles. It's a miracle I'm still alive after that near miss with the articulated lorry at that road junction near Gerona in Spain with Dennis and Gordon in Dennis's A...
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Funny story: BBC Top Gear special 'Pope my Ride'

BBC Top Gear special 'Pope my Ride'

In honour of canonising Popes John Paul II and John XXII, the BBC are advertising, every hour on the hour, seemingly forever, a blockbuster Top Gear special to be screened this week. The job-lot of saints John are to be celebrated with an action-packed epic of irreverent and barely legal japery. With His Holiness Pope Francis as the star guest, the team undertake an engineering Health and Safet...
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Funny story: Amazing what a couple of grams of coke can do as Pope Joe Ratzinger wheeled out of cryogenic stasis

Amazing what a couple of grams of coke can do as Pope Joe Ratzinger wheeled out of cryogenic stasis

Vatican Shitty, Rome - Half a dozen toots up each nostril and the Deserter Pope Joseph Ratzinger made it to today's canonisation double act a newly envigorated man. The 87 year-old former Nazi appeared in full Pontifical bling after a year's abse...
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