Washington, DC -- The Obama Administration's top lawman has officially arrested the entire population of the United States.
In an unprecedented Justice Department directive, Attorney General Eric Holder outlined a plan to imprison every American...
Her Majesty the Queen's speech to parliament today has achieved the impossible - all members of the House who were in attendance remained awake.
Her Royal Majesty opened her speech with a plea to Wrigley's, the chewing gum manufacturer, not to lay...
Yet again the British electorate have opted for the traditional election routine!
Some 70% registered their views with an equivocal silence. They did not vote!
Our reporters scoured the country for the majority non-voters. Joe Soap explained hi...
It has been hinted that former New York Congressman Anthony Weiner is sort of, kind of, we'll see, maybe going to run for Mayor of New York. His mea-culpa, sad faced photo with wife Huma Abedin on the cover of the New York Times Magazine, appeared to...
In a small article buried in between the adverts for fur lined microwave booties and comfy corduroy slacks in this months Grey Express, Iain Duncan Smith (IDS) has said that the elderly should hand back their benefits money. Of this IDS has said 'um,...
Dallas, Texas -- Former Vice President Dick Cheney missed most of the ceremonies dedicating the George W. Bush Library here. Federal Library Enforcement Agency (FLEA) officers pulled him out of the crowd to issue over two dozen citations for overdue...
In a surprising turn of events Reese Witherspoon an animal rights activist told a friend she supports the Boston bombers because they were wild and hairy.
Shortly, after the statement the police were notified and Mrs. Witherspoon was taken into c...
BROOKLYN - Lady Gaga says that she is tired of sitting around and doing nothing due to her back problem.
The "Born This Way" singer sat down with Tilapia Frisbee of The Right Coast Revue at a Flat As A Pancake Pancake House in Brooklyn.
She dis...
New York -- Distinguished former Congressman Anthony Weiner is testing the waters for a run for mayor, releasing a multi-level plan that would return this metropolis to its Fun City roots.
For openers, the proposal would bring back the grit and gr...
Washington, DC -- As the gun control debate enters its fifth month with no end in sight, mental health authorities are blaming the drawn out policy dispute for a rise in the nation's suicide rate.
The major television ratings bureaus report a 12.2...
Local congressman Dickie Scribbles announced that he will resign next month in order to spend more time with someone else's family. "My family is okay," said Scribbles.
"I mean, they're nice people and all, but I really like my neighbor's wife a...
Pyongyang, North Korea -- Spring is the season when a young man's fancy turns toward world domination. And so it goes with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, who recently purchased a blueprint to take over the world from an unnamed US defense contrac...
WASHINGTON - "The campaign trail never ends", said campaign strategist Jennifer O'Hair in a Whitehouse interview last Thursday. She, among other professionals, has been working relentlessly since Obama's inauguration in January to uncover campaign...
Nicosia, Cyprus - The shiny toasters that bank customers received for opening new accounts are being confiscated by the financial institutions that gifted them. Objective: to help ease this country's multibillion euro debt crisis.
"No, this is not...
Brussels - The Holidays and Holy Days Panel of the European Union has canceled Easter this year due to a lack of funding.
"The Almighty, and I do use that name with a high degree of bitterness, refuses to perform a Resurrection this year," said Re...
Somewhere At Sea - Looking to shake its stodgy image and sinking popularity, the Republican Party has purchased Carnival Cruise Lines.
The move is designed to rebrand and re-energize the right side of the political spectrum. "From here on out, the...
Cheyenne, Wyoming -- The Tribal Gathering Is taking the Catholic Church to court over its use of smoke signals to announce papal election results.
"Just because you know how to build a fire doesn't mean you can steal our proven communications tech...
The Vatican -- New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is moving to complete a deal that would make him the second Jewish Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church.
"St. Peter was Jewish and he turned out to be the indestructible rock God chose to head his ch...