Bethesda Maryland - Sugar is not just toxic, as some have recently postulated; but Dr. Guerivarewus, who works in a secret lab, has proven that it is a bio-warfare agent designed to kill all animal life on Earth.
As Dr. Guerivarewus has shown, pla...
London - Daft social climbing parasites the Middletons were once business pals of the hapless Chinese fixer found RIP'd in a Chongqing motel.
Their fledgeling psychic advice company Fortune Cookie Associates bombed after disastrous predictions vir...
New York, NY - The U.N. has proclaimed that effective today, no animals will be slaughtered with barbaric and painful mechanical means, such as shooting in the head. Animals will be slaughtered sweetly.
Ms. Beeker, our correspondent at the U.N. r...
DETROIT, MI - Soon you won't have to drink juice to get your Agent Orange because it will be in corn. And corn is in almost all the food you buy, most commonly as a syrup.
Dr. Umbday Eadhay, family doctor in the rust belt, our source, is going to...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today revealed that his long suffering wife has been feeding him exclusively on a diet of cucumber sandwiches, since it was revealed that some cucumbers could be laced with lethal quantities of the botulinus - or botuli...
The very latest cutting edge fantasy from the magical world of evolutionary thought is that formaldehyde, the highly toxic embalming agent, landed on Earth and turned into living creatures.
Although the very Holy grail of spoofery, this nugget of...
In an astonishing development after our initial breaking of the news yesterday concerning the toxic Dioxin laden eggs in Germany, a further 3000 farms are now closed and more implications for human health have been outlined.
Herr Loss of the the S...
A new trend is blazing across America, Tryptophan Poisoning as the new date rape drug. Young men are finding that it is easier to get a girl to eat turkey than to slip something into her drink. Even better take her out for chicken, according to news...
Wales- Masterchev was at the bar waiting for his favorite Wale's Ale. Skoob pulled the special lever, releasing the amber liquid from its specially made cask made from virgin teak wood imported from Thailand.
The two stared at the glass and regarded each other. Masterchev tried to think of the words to confront his sorrow as he lifted the glass to his lips. Jeanlefete had vanished over a month...
It's just becoming public that thoroughly bloody annoying 'Death Wish' director, food critic, and insurance salesman Michael Winner has been poisoned whilst filming the latest series of his crap TV show 'The Insufferable Michael Winner's Poxily Prete...
Once upon a time milk sold in America was fine but in recent years Americans have been injecting dairy cattle with a bovine growth hormone which increases milk production up to 25% but the side effects are horrendous.
The dairy cattle are now all ill and the milk produced is referred to by those in the know as White Poison as the milk produced includes PUS, BLOOD, ANTIBIOTICS and CARCINOGENS.
Hi, honey. I'm glad you stopped by. I've been thinking alot about what you said the other day about wanting a divorce, and I've finally calmed myself down enough to discuss this separation. And look! I've cooked us a lovely duck; your favorite!
I took your advice, and after drinking myself into oblivion in the west wing of my mansion--sorry, our mansion for two weeks, I'm ready to "act li...
ICELAND - Suspicious letters containing a white substance addressed to local straight men were intercepted in at least six places on Monday, but tests indicated the white stuff in five of them was dried sperm.
The letters were reported in Alaska,...
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - The US Food and Drug Administration and the Department of Agriculture have jointly approved the use of cola as pesticides in farming and general pest control both outdoors and indoors.
The two government organizations had...
Grand Forks ND - A spike in the pickleweasel population in the state has been linked to contaminated rat poison from China. Scientists at the University of North Dakota say that the poison, Rataway, which attacks the nervous system, has traces of foo...
TOXIC BOG, New Jersey - In a stunning development today, the EPA obtained an injunction from the Supreme Court shuttering the FDA, a prominent part of the United States Government.
Dazed FDA officials wandered about the streets, looking for a gove...
Strong rumours are emerging from Chinese sources regarding a huge concrete in chocolate food scare.
It is believed that for some years Chinese chocolate confectionery has been bulked out with concrete,obviously saving money and increasing aggregat...
Smegmadale Asbo Central College for the Intellectually-Challenged was tonight placed under a quarantine order as Department of Health inspectors, garbed in bio-hazard suits, took samples from the school's kitchen and canteen to determine the cause of...