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Funny story: Woman almost kills child by accident after ringing poison information line

Woman almost kills child by accident after ringing poison information line

Lincoln, Nebraska- A woman frantically rang a local poison information line after her 7 year old daughter ate some black carpenter ants in the back yard. The operator assured her that the ants were harmless but advised against the child eating any...
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Funny story: Mercury Leak Discovered From Daybreak Presenters

Mercury Leak Discovered From Daybreak Presenters

Concerns grew once again on the humanity of breakfast TV presenters as strange discharges found on the well known sofas has been identified as mercury. MI6 have taken the extraordinary steps of sealing off the studio until further searches can be...
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Funny story: Scientists find sugar to be a bio-warfare agent

Scientists find sugar to be a bio-warfare agent

Bethesda Maryland - Sugar is not just toxic, as some have recently postulated; but Dr. Guerivarewus, who works in a secret lab, has proven that it is a bio-warfare agent designed to kill all animal life on Earth. As Dr. Guerivarewus has shown, pla...
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Funny story: Neil Heywood and the Middletons, who would have thought it?

Neil Heywood and the Middletons, who would have thought it?

London - Daft social climbing parasites the Middletons were once business pals of the hapless Chinese fixer found RIP'd in a Chongqing motel. Their fledgeling psychic advice company Fortune Cookie Associates bombed after disastrous predictions vir...
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Funny story: Sweetness to slaughter cows

Sweetness to slaughter cows

New York, NY - The U.N. has proclaimed that effective today, no animals will be slaughtered with barbaric and painful mechanical means, such as shooting in the head. Animals will be slaughtered sweetly. Ms. Beeker, our correspondent at the U.N. r...
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Funny story: A day without Agent Orange is like a day without sunshine

A day without Agent Orange is like a day without sunshine

DETROIT, MI - Soon you won't have to drink juice to get your Agent Orange because it will be in corn. And corn is in almost all the food you buy, most commonly as a syrup. Dr. Umbday Eadhay, family doctor in the rust belt, our source, is going to...
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Funny story: Local Man's Wife Feeds Him Cucumber Sandwiches Hoping To Poison Him So She Can Go Looking For Johnny Depp

Local Man's Wife Feeds Him Cucumber Sandwiches Hoping To Poison Him So She Can Go Looking For Johnny Depp

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today revealed that his long suffering wife has been feeding him exclusively on a diet of cucumber sandwiches, since it was revealed that some cucumbers could be laced with lethal quantities of the botulinus - or botuli...
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Funny story: POISON could have started life on Earth?!

POISON could have started life on Earth?!

The very latest cutting edge fantasy from the magical world of evolutionary thought is that formaldehyde, the highly toxic embalming agent, landed on Earth and turned into living creatures. Although the very Holy grail of spoofery, this nugget of...
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Funny story: German Eggs Dioxin scandal vegan take-over planned

German Eggs Dioxin scandal vegan take-over planned

In an astonishing development after our initial breaking of the news yesterday concerning the toxic Dioxin laden eggs in Germany, a further 3000 farms are now closed and more implications for human health have been outlined. Herr Loss of the the S...
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Funny story: Tryptophan Poisoning Used As New Date Rape Drug

Tryptophan Poisoning Used As New Date Rape Drug

A new trend is blazing across America, Tryptophan Poisoning as the new date rape drug. Young men are finding that it is easier to get a girl to eat turkey than to slip something into her drink. Even better take her out for chicken, according to news...
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Funny story: Born to Spoof: The Portal's Secrets - Chapter 1

Born to Spoof: The Portal's Secrets - Chapter 1

Wales- Masterchev was at the bar waiting for his favorite Wale's Ale. Skoob pulled the special lever, releasing the amber liquid from its specially made cask made from virgin teak wood imported from Thailand. The two stared at the glass and regarded each other. Masterchev tried to think of the words to confront his sorrow as he lifted the glass to his lips. Jeanlefete had vanished over a month...
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Funny story: Michael Winner Poisoned

Michael Winner Poisoned

It's just becoming public that thoroughly bloody annoying 'Death Wish' director, food critic, and insurance salesman Michael Winner has been poisoned whilst filming the latest series of his crap TV show 'The Insufferable Michael Winner's Poxily Prete...
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Funny story: The Curious Case of The Horrors of Milk or White Poison

The Curious Case of The Horrors of Milk or White Poison

Once upon a time milk sold in America was fine but in recent years Americans have been injecting dairy cattle with a bovine growth hormone which increases milk production up to 25% but the side effects are horrendous. The dairy cattle are now all ill and the milk produced is referred to by those in the know as White Poison as the milk produced includes PUS, BLOOD, ANTIBIOTICS and CARCINOGENS.
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Funny story: Can You Taste The Strychnine?

Can You Taste The Strychnine?

Hi, honey. I'm glad you stopped by. I've been thinking alot about what you said the other day about wanting a divorce, and I've finally calmed myself down enough to discuss this separation. And look! I've cooked us a lovely duck; your favorite! I took your advice, and after drinking myself into oblivion in the west wing of my mansion--sorry, our mansion for two weeks, I'm ready to "act li...
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Funny story: Suspicious Powder Found in Letters

Suspicious Powder Found in Letters

ICELAND - Suspicious letters containing a white substance addressed to local straight men were intercepted in at least six places on Monday, but tests indicated the white stuff in five of them was dried sperm. The letters were reported in Alaska,...
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Funny story: FDA and US Agriculture Dept. Approve Cola as Pesticides

FDA and US Agriculture Dept. Approve Cola as Pesticides

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - The US Food and Drug Administration and the Department of Agriculture have jointly approved the use of cola as pesticides in farming and general pest control both outdoors and indoors. The two government organizations had...
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Funny story: Rat Poison from China Contaminated with Food

Rat Poison from China Contaminated with Food

Grand Forks ND - A spike in the pickleweasel population in the state has been linked to contaminated rat poison from China. Scientists at the University of North Dakota say that the poison, Rataway, which attacks the nervous system, has traces of foo...
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Funny story: EPA Shuts Down FDA

EPA Shuts Down FDA

TOXIC BOG, New Jersey - In a stunning development today, the EPA obtained an injunction from the Supreme Court shuttering the FDA, a prominent part of the United States Government. Dazed FDA officials wandered about the streets, looking for a gove...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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