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Funny satire stories about Poetry

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Funny story: Giddy Up You Old Fool

Giddy Up You Old Fool

I've ridden the wicked draw that runs from shytown to the edge of the heinous herd that abomination of unspeakables which propagates fear in the dreams of the unweary in the center of that heinous herd you will find the apocalypse sitting smug, wrapped in oil skins on a heap of 2 day old horned imp skulls Giddy up you old fool The heinous herd was an abomination that even all of hell reject...
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Funny story: Trump shocks poetry world

Trump shocks poetry world

For National Poetry Month, Walt Whitman's recent return from the dead for his reading of "Song of Myself" was overshadowed by the shocking arrival of Donald Trump, who said that he had not heard of Whitman, but was intrigued by the title, which he thought was "Shlong of Myself," and by prospects for spontaneous "call and response." However, sources confirm that his outbursts merely echoed phrases...
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Funny story: Brendan Behan Poem Discovered

Brendan Behan Poem Discovered

Among the belongings of the late great Irish writer and dramatist Brendan Behan has been discovered a short Romantic poem. Seemingly, Behan had visited the great Irish jump race meeting at Cheltenham in the spring of 1961 and wrote the poem on the back of a bookie slip that he evidently intended to throw away. It may well have been written by him for his own amusement. It is a parody on the wo...
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Funny story: The Second Coming (for the Grand Obsolescent Party)

The Second Coming (for the Grand Obsolescent Party)

(With apologies to William Butler Yeats) Churning and churning in the miasmic mire The Tea Party cannot stand the Moderates; Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the GOP; The Wing-nut tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of common sense is drowned; The best lack all compassion, while the worst Are full of fanatic in...
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Funny story: Poem found as undecipherable as any in the New Yorker

Poem found as undecipherable as any in the New Yorker

Dear Poetry Fans, I found the most interesting poem yesterday when I was thumbing through the "Baseball Digest," from August 15, 1987. I was looking over some old baseball cards I had examining the edges and looking for creases. I wanted to see what they were worth. There is a certain quality to the poem that I can't describe. I want to share it with you.
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Funny story: IntCom Guerilla (Parody of Hawkind: Urban Guerilla)

IntCom Guerilla (Parody of Hawkind: Urban Guerilla)

I'm an IntCom guerrilla Trade wars to the highest seller I'm a tinpot Godzilla Universal kiddy-killer I'm a street-bombing prancer A global-heating moral cancer A swift-declining Panzer Double-serpent-tongued pretender But let's not talk about peace and ethics And kids that don't explode We're losing all of our respect and honour Universal chaos motherlode, yeah baby A humanitari...
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Funny story: Small talk - a poem

Small talk - a poem

I'm just no good at small talk Narrow and bijou Microscopic and minute Sorry, what do you do? Dinky winky, little, dwarf Incy wincy, klein Matchbox, kneehigh and compact Can I top up your wine? Teensy weensy, minimal Teeny weeny, wee Itsy bitsy, miniscule Would you like a cup of tea? Baby, mini, miniature Shrunken, titchy, speck Narrow, nipper, iota, mite Get naked? What the h...
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Funny story: Ode to Birth Control by J.S. Shaw

Ode to Birth Control by J.S. Shaw

It's obvious my uterus has seen a better day. Too many years invested, in erotic sexual play. Committed now to aging with grace its duty done. A child carries on my name - a generation comes. My sex life is a private matter, I care not to discuss. Why Politicians think they speak ... for my uterus. Men are lusty school boys - ask any Catholic wife. If it wasn't for contraception, we'd be...
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Funny story: A party political poem on behalf of the Neanderthal Independence Party

A party political poem on behalf of the Neanderthal Independence Party

We in the Neanderthal Independence Party (NIP) feel threatened by Homo Sapiens They may cause our lives not to have happy ends The Neanderthal Independence Party says we are culturally unique Though we're a little low-brow and evolutionarily weak We have more grass roots support than Neanderthal Labour And we'll try to reduce casual sex with our neighbours The Neanderthal Health Servic...
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Funny story: There are some.

There are some.

There are places in the world where people don't say "awesome". They say "ah-some". There are some. There are those who think they've been abducted by a Martian, which would be awesome. There are some. There are millions of people who say "awesome" when they mean "very good". There are some. There are people who like Jeremy Clarkson. They are not awesome. But there are some. There are...
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Funny story: Hulk Hogan Injects Poetical Moments and Movements into WrestleMania

Hulk Hogan Injects Poetical Moments and Movements into WrestleMania

After a skull-thonking chair slam to his head, the Hulkster stunned the arena by reciting T.S.Eliot's "The Waste Land." Though the crowd seemed to be getting into the esoteric allusions, a ring-side wag interrupted the "Game of Chess" segment by scre...
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Funny story: Alex Rodriguez Writing Poetry During Year Off

Alex Rodriguez Writing Poetry During Year Off

He may have been kicked out of baseball for a year but New York Yankees Alex Rodriguez has gone back to writing poetry. What kind of poetry? "Somewhere between Bob Dylan and Mohammed Ali he laughed." A-Rod then told some reporters that he h...
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Funny story: Move Over Red Hat Society, Introducing "The Evergreen Gals"

Move Over Red Hat Society, Introducing "The Evergreen Gals"

COOS BAY, OREGON - Peggy Johnson is only 43, but she is the head of one of the newest and fastest growing women's organizations in the U.S. since Sue Ellen Cooper started The Red Hat Society was started in 1998. Johnson's organization is called "The Evergreen Gals", in reference to evergreen trees that have leaves in all four seasons. "Members of 'The Evergreen Gals' are dedicated to being...
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Funny story: I Want To Be An Arab

I Want To Be An Arab

I want to be an Arab And wear a flowing robe With a beard down to my ankles From my ear lobe I want to be an Arab And chat all day and night On a mat that's facing Mecca, or wherever They direct that shite I want to be an Arab They love a drop of wine! Downside: no bacon, sausage or pork chop They're forbidden to touch swine I want to be an Arab Have my women walk behind Whilst...
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Funny story: The Trumpen Bird

The Trumpen Bird

Inspired by Lewis Carroll 'Twas brillig, and the Karl Rove Did tremble and tire in his soul; All flimsy were the borogoves, And the GOP o'er ruled. "Beware the Trumpen Bird, my son The jaws that bite, the mouth that spits! Beware the Trumpen Bird, and shun That frumious piece of shit!" Rove took his vorpal sword in hand; Long time the loudmouthed foe he sought-...
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Funny story: Heaney dead at 74

Heaney dead at 74

Crouching low at the foot of a hollow clearing, cored from the density of trees in our holding of forest, I know something lacks. Not the cool, insistent billow of breeze from the West, or the mousey rustle of dead leaves pooling around us. A shaft of late summer sun that lazily probes about the high branches, picks out an oval of scrub. A trace memory, a silhouette that says 'it was...
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Funny story: The Epic of Gilgamesh

The Epic of Gilgamesh

The Epic of Gilgamesh is a long, boring, heroic poem by Gil Gamesh, a Babylonian who plagiarized the story from ancient Sumerian sources and claimed that the events of the poem, outlandish though they are, actually happened to him. One of the poem's key episodes in the flood, which, when it is written about in the Bible, is known as the Biblical flood, but, in Gilgamesh, is referred to as The Delu...
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Funny story: Collective poetry of Persia

Collective poetry of Persia

Most people, literate or illiterate, in Iran, Afghanistan and Tajikistan, the remnants of the ruined Persian Empire, still, 2013, keep, at least, three books in their homes: Rubaiyat-e Khayyam, Hafiz and Shahnameh. A well-known Iranian scholar, Mohammad Abdolvahab Qazvini, 1877-1949, after completing his traditional theological schooling, Arabic grammar and Islamic teachings, in 1904, at the...
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