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Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

Funny story: Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

For years, astronomers have shown a preference for studying the eight main planets of the solar system, disregarding "almost everything beyond Uranus" as famous astronomer Edwin Hubble once said. Yet now, a new movement is aiming to overcome these...

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Pluto could have an underground ocean: So let's not swim in the the Kuiper Belt

Funny story: Pluto could have an underground ocean: So let's not swim in the the Kuiper Belt

Lurking somewhere way down under the icy crust of the planet which is now no longer a planet could lie an ocean. Deep under a layer of ice, 186 miles deep, may lie this humongous mass of liquid. In a paper published this week in Geophysical Resear...

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Disney sues NASA: "Pluto is ours."

Reports today have emerged that conglomerate Disney is suing NASA over the naming rights of Pluto. The entertainment giants claim that the recent media interest given to the dwarf planet is detracting from their brand and causing them to lose tens of...

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Unusual Object Spotted Orbiting Pluto

Funny story: Unusual Object Spotted Orbiting Pluto

Imaging obtained of Pluto and its moons has caused fierce controversy at NASA over the last two weeks. One image taken by the Long Range Reconnaissance Imager (LORRI) shows what appears to be a fuzzy blob with distinctive brightness variations. While...

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Mankind's Suffering Redeemed by Science

Funny story: Mankind's Suffering Redeemed by Science

In a recent global survey by U-R-FKD science magazine among the starving and homeless of the world it was unanimously agreed that the recent discovery of mountains on Pluto and the billions of dollars spent on it had given "meaning at last to all our...

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Scientist Fires Missile and Accidentally Destroys Pluto

Funny story: Scientist Fires Missile and Accidentally Destroys Pluto

Huntsville, AL An astronomer/scientist at the Space Science Lab, who has so far managed to remain anonymous, has admitted to accidentally destroying Pluto with a nuclear missile. "I meant to hit the zoom so I could get a closer look at this three-...

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Earth is Not Actually a Planet Reveal Surprised Scientists

Funny story: Earth is Not Actually a Planet Reveal Surprised Scientists

Science Town, USA Scientists were astonished when they revealed to the press their most recent scientific discovery. "Earth is actually an artificial satellite created by an alien culture and was used as a movie set in a D-movie eons ago" spoke th...

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Jennifer Lawrence Blames Latest Accident on Astronomers!

Funny story: Jennifer Lawrence Blames Latest Accident on Astronomers!

Jennifer Lawrence, one of the most beautiful women today, has had three falls lately, none of them serious, but she blames it all on "Those stupid scientists and astronomers." "I've had a great career and I'm just getting started when I began trip...

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Pluto Orbit Changes! What Will Happen?

Funny story: Pluto Orbit Changes! What Will Happen?

Scientists, among them John Holdren and Harold Keene, announced today that they now believe that the former planet Pluto is changing orbit. "We didn't want to panic anyone and we could have been wrong but the planet or former planet, Pluto is slig...

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Kim Jong Un Claims The Planet Pluto For North Korea

Funny story: Kim Jong Un Claims The Planet Pluto For North Korea

PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un has just informed the United Nations that he is claiming the planet Pluto for his country North Korea. The leader of North Korea stated that he wants to make it perfectly clear that the United States and Russia...

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A Group of American Dwarfs Want NASA To Stop Referring To Pluto As The Dwarf Planet

Funny story: A Group of American Dwarfs Want NASA To Stop Referring To Pluto As The Dwarf Planet

NEW YORK CITY - The United States Guild of Dwarfs has made it very clear to NASA that they do not appreciate them referring to Pluto as the dwarf planet. Guild spokesperson Hester Lippizan, 46, said that the group has put up with all kinds of verb...

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Pluto's new moons won't be named after Star Trek planets - why?

Funny story: Pluto's new moons won't be named after Star Trek planets - why?

Space - Some blame a 'Q'-like, omnipotent being lurking at NASA's Area 51, Roswell HQ for blocking the naming of newly discovered moons of the tiny, far-flung planet Pluto after Star Trek characters' home worlds. The move has been dubbed bizarre a...

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Pluto still angry about being downgraded from planet to icy dwarf

Although it's been nearly seven years since the status of Pluto was changed from a planet to an icy dwarf, hard feelings remain. "Hey, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune are just big gasballs--at least I'm 70-percent rock," complained Pluto.

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Pluto...a planet again?

Funny story: Pluto...a planet again?

Two years after being demoted to the status of "interesting asteroid" Pluto may regain the title of planet after a fourth moon was found orbiting the distant object. Pluto was not spotted until 1921, and was thought to be planet sized due to it's...

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Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

Funny story: Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

PRAGUE-On August 24th, 2006, yet another piece of our embarrassingly fragile childhood was destroyed. At a meeting of the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in Prague, a clear majority of astronomers voted for a definition of the term "planet" th...

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Organic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed

Funny story: Organic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed

Following the removal of Pluto's planet status by the International Astronomy Union in 2006, the dead orbiting body has received little respect. That is, until now. Discovered by the Hubbell telescope this past week, Pluto was found to have eviden...

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Astrologers slam sexist, sizeist slur on Pluto 'twin' Eris

Funny story: Astrologers slam sexist, sizeist slur on Pluto 'twin' Eris

London - A stargazers convention has deplored an official 2005 NASA description of Eris as a 'frigid dwarf' and declared it a load of sexist bollox. Astrologers Anonymous sources said today the minature planet has been slandered by an internationa...

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Pluto Held In Connection With Celebration Florida Murder

Funny story: Pluto Held In Connection With Celebration Florida Murder

Investigators in Florida are trying to determine why beloved celebrity doggie Pluto committed the first reported murder in Celebration, Florida; a distinctly creepy, Stepford-Wives-type knit town that was conceived and built by the Walt Disney Co.

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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