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Funny story: Pluto Orbit Changes! What Will Happen?

Pluto Orbit Changes! What Will Happen?

Scientists, among them John Holdren and Harold Keene, announced today that they now believe that the former planet Pluto is changing orbit. "We didn't want to panic anyone and we could have been wrong but the planet or former planet, Pluto is slig...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Un Claims The Planet Pluto For North Korea

Kim Jong Un Claims The Planet Pluto For North Korea

PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un has just informed the United Nations that he is claiming the planet Pluto for his country North Korea. The leader of North Korea stated that he wants to make it perfectly clear that the United States and Russia...
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Funny story: A Group of American Dwarfs Want NASA To Stop Referring To Pluto As The Dwarf Planet

A Group of American Dwarfs Want NASA To Stop Referring To Pluto As The Dwarf Planet

NEW YORK CITY - The United States Guild of Dwarfs has made it very clear to NASA that they do not appreciate them referring to Pluto as the dwarf planet. Guild spokesperson Hester Lippizan, 46, said that the group has put up with all kinds of verb...
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Funny story: Pluto's new moons won't be named after Star Trek planets - why?

Pluto's new moons won't be named after Star Trek planets - why?

Space - Some blame a 'Q'-like, omnipotent being lurking at NASA's Area 51, Roswell HQ for blocking the naming of newly discovered moons of the tiny, far-flung planet Pluto after Star Trek characters' home worlds. The move has been dubbed bizarre a...
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Funny story: Pluto still angry about being downgraded from planet to icy dwarf

Pluto still angry about being downgraded from planet to icy dwarf

Although it's been nearly seven years since the status of Pluto was changed from a planet to an icy dwarf, hard feelings remain. "Hey, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune are just big gasballs--at least I'm 70-percent rock," complained Pluto.
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Funny story: Pluto...a planet again?

Pluto...a planet again?

Two years after being demoted to the status of "interesting asteroid" Pluto may regain the title of planet after a fourth moon was found orbiting the distant object. Pluto was not spotted until 1921, and was thought to be planet sized due to it's...
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Funny story: Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

Neptune To Be Renamed Pluto, Scientists Say

PRAGUE-On August 24th, 2006, yet another piece of our embarrassingly fragile childhood was destroyed. At a meeting of the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in Prague, a clear majority of astronomers voted for a definition of the term "planet" th...
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Funny story: Organic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed

Organic Molecules Found on Pluto - International Astronomers Pissed

Following the removal of Pluto's planet status by the International Astronomy Union in 2006, the dead orbiting body has received little respect. That is, until now. Discovered by the Hubbell telescope this past week, Pluto was found to have eviden...
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Funny story: Astrologers slam sexist, sizeist slur on Pluto 'twin' Eris

Astrologers slam sexist, sizeist slur on Pluto 'twin' Eris

London - A stargazers convention has deplored an official 2005 NASA description of Eris as a 'frigid dwarf' and declared it a load of sexist bollox. Astrologers Anonymous sources said today the minature planet has been slandered by an internationa...
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Funny story: Pluto Held In Connection With Celebration Florida Murder

Pluto Held In Connection With Celebration Florida Murder

Investigators in Florida are trying to determine why beloved celebrity doggie Pluto committed the first reported murder in Celebration, Florida; a distinctly creepy, Stepford-Wives-type knit town that was conceived and built by the Walt Disney Co.
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Funny story: NASA Photos Show Pluto Looking Reddish and Very Bright

NASA Photos Show Pluto Looking Reddish and Very Bright

At first this was attributed to just plain old embarrassment. After all, Pluto was demoted in 2006, being told that he was just a "dwarf planet." Pluto's still blushing about that one. But further investigation by scientists has revealed the real ca...
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Funny story: IAU counter-sued by Patrick Phair

IAU counter-sued by Patrick Phair

Paris, France - Patrick Phair, son of the now deceased Venetia Burney, the girl who had been the only woman on Earth to name a planet, is counter-suing the International Astronomical Union for damages. In dispute again is Pluto, and whether it sho...
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Funny story: Pluto downsized to 'Disabled Mass'

Pluto downsized to 'Disabled Mass'

HOUSTON, Texas - Pluto has done it again. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced this morning that the 'dwarf planet' Pluto would be downsized to a 'disabled mass'. NASA also said "We are still considering lowering it to O...
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Funny story: Asstronomers Name Pluto a Hemorrhoid

Asstronomers Name Pluto a Hemorrhoid

Poor Pluto has been demoted from one of the seven planets, recently called a Plutoid by International Astronomical Union and now diagnosed as a hemorrhoid on the ass of Neptune.
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Funny story: NASA Recalls Pluto Space Craft New Horizons

NASA Recalls Pluto Space Craft New Horizons

Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - NASA has recalled the New Horizons mission to Pluto. The space craft is performing a U-turn and will return to Earth as commanded.
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Funny story: Pluto Sues International Astronomical Union

Pluto Sues International Astronomical Union

Attorney at Law, Harvey Birdman, has filed suit against the International Astronomical Union (IAU) on behalf of his client, Pluto, for claiming that Pluto is no longer a planet. Through his interpreter at a press conference Pluto stated "being c...
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Funny story: Pluto Goes Goofy and Acts All Space Mountain After a Kid Kicks Him in The Crotch

Pluto Goes Goofy and Acts All Space Mountain After a Kid Kicks Him in The Crotch

Anaheim Calif, Disney Land - Pluto blew a cog after being assaulted in the family jewels by a youngster yesterday morning. Pluto chased the youth around and around a fountain after losing his cool. This just goes to show even cartoons can only take...
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Funny story: Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton, Others Change Their Names

Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton, Others Change Their Names

When he heard that Congressman William Jefferson had been indicted on bribery charges, former President William Jefferson Clinton felt that his own name was toast. He quickly changed it to former President John Doe Clinton.
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Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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