Here's a tip from an Old Time reporter: Get rid of any old sex toys or this might happen to you.
Martha and I were saying goodbye to our grandson who was headed off to college when he came downstairs from the attic where he was looking for his luc...
Every now and then, Dan Polinsky pulled out the old photo wondering where his long lost daughter had gone. He would fondly reminisce of the one photo left of him cradling her aged 12 years old.
He was too drunk then to remember the moment and too...
Men Seeking Women
Ventnor man, early 50s, NSOH, seeks 20-something woman for dog, er, walking. Box 52.
Newport professional bachelor, 29, is it worth mentioning premature baldness? No, probably not, leave that bit out. Seeks non-judgemental woman 25-35, NS with GSOH. Box 19.
Ryde man with one leg called Dave (the other is called Alan), recently divorced, aged 62, GSOH, loves walking with Da...
Male Seeking Female
Aged over 40? Well educated? Like wine, the arts, long walks in the countryside?
Yes? Well fuck off then, I'm looking for an 18 year old vacuous size six stunner with massive tits, no brain and absolutely no opinion on anything. Must be able to iron, cook and give a decent blowjob.
Female Seeking Male
Bitter, unsuccessful, middle aged, spastic wallowing in my own...
Hollywood and the rest of the Planet - Alec Baldwin is one of Hollywood's most respected actors. He is an attractive, sexy bachelor who is yet to be snatched up by one of his leading ladies.
"His eyes are what attracts you to him" said one of the...
Top 12 Acronyms You Might Want To Avoid In The Personal Ads:
12. NQACARO (Not quite as cute as Rosie O'Donnell)
11. POTRPFC (President of the Roman Polanski Fan Club)
10. GTBWWW (Got that Bush way with words)
9. MMM (Macarena! Macarena! Macarena!)
8. FCWGGTPIHF) Former clown with great gags to pull, including his finger)
7. SBWTSE (Susan Boyle Without The Sexy Eyebrows)
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!
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