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Funny story: Japanese Use Stem Cells to Recreate Godzilla, Threaten New Pearl Harbor With Nuclear Fire Breathing Dinosaurs

Japanese Use Stem Cells to Recreate Godzilla, Threaten New Pearl Harbor With Nuclear Fire Breathing Dinosaurs

Tokyo, Japan Japan showed its true colors today as the island republic announced that they have created a nuclear fire breathing gigantic dinosaur lizard named Godzilla and that they might not be able to stop him once he starts heading toward the sun...
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Funny story: Obscure Zoroastrian cult has infiltrated the Pentagon

Obscure Zoroastrian cult has infiltrated the Pentagon

Washington DC - A fire-worshiping cult behind state religion in the Achaemenid, Parthian, Sasanian and Arachnid empires has seized control of the Pentagon, specifically aircon and life support in the highly classified Restricted Wing. A statement...
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Funny story: GOP blocks funding to climate change research, changes logo to Ostrich with head in sand

GOP blocks funding to climate change research, changes logo to Ostrich with head in sand

WASHING D.C. - A recent press release by Rep. David McKinley (R-WV) confirms that the republican controlled house has passed an amendment restricting the pentagon from using funds to investigate climate change. At the same time, senior republicans, f...
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Funny story: President Gets Rough on Justin Bieber

President Gets Rough on Justin Bieber

President Obama says that this time Justin Bieber has taken his bag of tricks a little too far. A steaming President says that he will deport the young man as soon as his own wife and family return home. Bieber is accused of blowing up the Hoov...
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Funny story: Pentagon shrinks the US Army? Veteran psychiatrist sues Chuck Hagel

Pentagon shrinks the US Army? Veteran psychiatrist sues Chuck Hagel

Washington DC - A retired Professor of Military Psychiatry is taking Chuck Hagel to court for what he says is a psychotic episode in the Pentagon downsizing scheme. Professor Einstein Flintstone wants to detain the US Defense Secretary on psychiat...
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Funny story: "Battle Purses" Newest in Pentagon Arsenal?

"Battle Purses" Newest in Pentagon Arsenal?

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The pentagon announced today they are developing a new gender specific weapon, the Battle Purse, for female combat soldiers to use on battlefields. Nine Star General Forrest Whitehead, told a news conference, "Our female combat...
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Funny story: Vegan Wiccan US Army chaplain's joy as Pentagon relaxes religious beards ban

Vegan Wiccan US Army chaplain's joy as Pentagon relaxes religious beards ban

Washington AC/DC - A meat eschewing pagan US Army chaplain is feeling mighty pleased today after the Pentagon finally backed down over a ban on religious beards in the military following 100 years of clean shaven tradition. "Praise be to Isis, mot...
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Funny story: Weapons That Make Drones Look Primitive Are Of Concern

Weapons That Make Drones Look Primitive Are Of Concern

"Killer robots" are fully autonomous weapons. These robots are weapons that would make drones look primitive. With the drone, there is a human being who looks at the computer screen, sees the target and pushes the buttons to fire the missiles and k...
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Funny story: College Professors: Legalized Prostitution

College Professors: Legalized Prostitution

AP--University presidents of USC, Notre Dame, MIT, Michigan State and U.C.L.A announced a new academic consortium designed to essentially make schools virtual extensions of corporations. The group is called "Corporate Academia." Its slogan is "The...
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Funny story: Pentagon rubbishes reports that 5-star NATO general is slumming it in grace 'n' favor White House mansion

Pentagon rubbishes reports that 5-star NATO general is slumming it in grace 'n' favor White House mansion

Washington AC/DC - "Uh, this sort of thing just doesn't go on in the United States," a Pentagon internal affairs spokesperson said this weekend as news of security raids across the Capital broke. First up a 6am sweep of the Presidential potting sh...
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Funny story: General "Jumpin' Jack" Bootheel on the Lam

General "Jumpin' Jack" Bootheel on the Lam

The Guard Dog is pleased to break the following story while at the same time nose-tighteningly aware of sensitivities implicating reporters. General Bootheel has disclosed a new key tool in the surveillance battle, taking metadata to new heights.
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Funny story: Pentagon hacker's mother demands official Presidential pardon 'and grovelling apology'

Pentagon hacker's mother demands official Presidential pardon 'and grovelling apology'

Washington - There is growing disgust at the Pentagon this weekend after the mother of a Brit computer hacker who caused millions of dollars of damage to US military computer systems demanded an official pardon from President Obama 'and a grovelling...
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Funny story: Pentagon blames 'tit-for-tat' response in Gary McKinnon extradition refusal

Pentagon blames 'tit-for-tat' response in Gary McKinnon extradition refusal

Arlington, Va - Defense Department lawyers have described today's decision by UK Home Secretary Theresa May as a 'tit-for-tat knee-jerk response' to a 1998 US Justice Department failure to extradite a bent UK judge 'who was too depressed to face tria...
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Funny story: Pentagon claims Turkmeni insurgents have 'dirty bombs' - 'Mud weapons' virtually undetectable, say experts

Pentagon claims Turkmeni insurgents have 'dirty bombs' - 'Mud weapons' virtually undetectable, say experts

Turkmenistan - Pentagon officials today released satellite images of what they say is a new weapons-grade mud enrichment facility north of Balkanabat, in Turkmenistan. Military experts say the brown, highly-refined paste is virtually undetectable, an...
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Funny story: Humanity Doomed Due to Slippy Fisted Scientist

Humanity Doomed Due to Slippy Fisted Scientist

Humanity's fate was sealed earlier today when a vial containing the genetically engineered super virus known as "EbolaThrax" was dropped at a secure lab facility deep within the Pentagon. Multiple contributing factors are apparently to blame for the...
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Funny story: President Obama Tells Troops To Spike The Ball When They Kill Taliban Insurgents

President Obama Tells Troops To Spike The Ball When They Kill Taliban Insurgents

BILLINGSGATE POST - The Pentagon is currently deciding what disciplinary action will be taken for President Obama's gloating over his successful assassination of Osama bin Laden twelve months ago. Just recently, the four Marines snipers who were p...
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Funny story: Wiccan joy as Pentagon builds $80,000 Stonehenge replica at USAF training academy

Wiccan joy as Pentagon builds $80,000 Stonehenge replica at USAF training academy

Colorado Springs - "Silly excuse for naked revelry around a bonfire during the full moon!" is how one scornful US general put it as news of the Pentagon funding broke this week. However for the US military's motley crew of wiccans, pagans and asso...
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Funny story: Pentagon Victim Of Cyber-Bullying

Pentagon Victim Of Cyber-Bullying

(LSM) - The Pentagon is considering the use of military force against cyberattacks. This decision came after hackers breached the Pentagon's Facebook page, changing the military's relationship status with Afghanistan from "in a civil union with" to t...
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Breaking News...

Style Maven/Ex-Con Stewart Announces Her Latest For the Holiday

Stewart today touted her rollout of MarthaGoblers--designer turkeys for the Thanksgiving feast. MarthaGoblers are available in various skin-tone shades from Titian Brown to Chirascuro Noir and Blanc
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