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Trump Says U.S. Military Is Stupid But Beautiful

Funny story: Trump Says U.S. Military Is Stupid But Beautiful

The United States has the most powerful military in the world and in 2015 spent more on the military than the next seven biggest-spending nations combined. For fiscal year 2015, military spending is projected to account for 54 percent of all fede...

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Pentagon Can't Account For Losing $6.5 Trillion It Is Huge Law Breaker

Funny story: Pentagon Can't Account For Losing $6.5 Trillion It Is Huge Law Breaker

AP -- From spending $150 million on private villas for a handful of personnel in Afghanistan to blowing $2.7 billion on an air surveillance balloon that doesn't work, the latest revelations of waste at the Pentagon are stories in a long line of simil...

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Pentagon admits, "ISIS is on a roll"

Funny story: Pentagon admits, "ISIS is on a roll"

The Pentagon reacted with surprise to intelligence that ISIS has encroached upon U. S. military forces training Iraqi troops. "We're concerned," Rear Admiral Howe Cudditbee confessed. "We're also perplexed. How could 40,000 terrorists who have bee...

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Police Can't Return Unwanted Tanks To Pentagon

Funny story: Police Can't Return Unwanted Tanks To Pentagon

After images of tank-like vehicles in Ferguson turned against ordinary citizens, many towns are trying to return military gear supplied by the Defense Department-and finding it impossible. The tanks came from a vast Defense Department program that...

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Japanese Use Stem Cells to Recreate Godzilla, Threaten New Pearl Harbor With Nuclear Fire Breathing Dinosaurs

Funny story: Japanese Use Stem Cells to Recreate Godzilla, Threaten New Pearl Harbor With Nuclear Fire Breathing Dinosaurs

Tokyo, Japan Japan showed its true colors today as the island republic announced that they have created a nuclear fire breathing gigantic dinosaur lizard named Godzilla and that they might not be able to stop him once he starts heading toward the sun...

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Obscure Zoroastrian cult has infiltrated the Pentagon

Funny story: Obscure Zoroastrian cult has infiltrated the Pentagon

Washington DC - A fire-worshiping cult behind state religion in the Achaemenid, Parthian, Sasanian and Arachnid empires has seized control of the Pentagon, specifically aircon and life support in the highly classified Restricted Wing. A statement...

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GOP blocks funding to climate change research, changes logo to Ostrich with head in sand

Funny story: GOP blocks funding to climate change research, changes logo to Ostrich with head in sand

WASHING D.C. - A recent press release by Rep. David McKinley (R-WV) confirms that the republican controlled house has passed an amendment restricting the pentagon from using funds to investigate climate change. At the same time, senior republicans, f...

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President Gets Rough on Justin Bieber

Funny story: President Gets Rough on Justin Bieber

President Obama says that this time Justin Bieber has taken his bag of tricks a little too far. A steaming President says that he will deport the young man as soon as his own wife and family return home. Bieber is accused of blowing up the Hoov...

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Pentagon shrinks the US Army? Veteran psychiatrist sues Chuck Hagel

Funny story: Pentagon shrinks the US Army? Veteran psychiatrist sues Chuck Hagel

Washington DC - A retired Professor of Military Psychiatry is taking Chuck Hagel to court for what he says is a psychotic episode in the Pentagon downsizing scheme. Professor Einstein Flintstone wants to detain the US Defense Secretary on psychiat...

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"Battle Purses" Newest in Pentagon Arsenal?

Funny story: "Battle Purses" Newest in Pentagon Arsenal?

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The pentagon announced today they are developing a new gender specific weapon, the Battle Purse, for female combat soldiers to use on battlefields. Nine Star General Forrest Whitehead, told a news conference, "Our female combat...

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Vegan Wiccan US Army chaplain's joy as Pentagon relaxes religious beards ban

Funny story: Vegan Wiccan US Army chaplain's joy as Pentagon relaxes religious beards ban

Washington AC/DC - A meat eschewing pagan US Army chaplain is feeling mighty pleased today after the Pentagon finally backed down over a ban on religious beards in the military following 100 years of clean shaven tradition. "Praise be to Isis, mot...

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Weapons That Make Drones Look Primitive Are Of Concern

Funny story: Weapons That Make Drones Look Primitive Are Of Concern

"Killer robots" are fully autonomous weapons. These robots are weapons that would make drones look primitive. With the drone, there is a human being who looks at the computer screen, sees the target and pushes the buttons to fire the missiles and k...

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College Professors: Legalized Prostitution

Funny story: College Professors: Legalized Prostitution

AP--University presidents of USC, Notre Dame, MIT, Michigan State and U.C.L.A announced a new academic consortium designed to essentially make schools virtual extensions of corporations. The group is called "Corporate Academia." Its slogan is "The...

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Pentagon rubbishes reports that 5-star NATO general is slumming it in grace 'n' favor White House mansion

Funny story: Pentagon rubbishes reports that 5-star NATO general is slumming it in grace 'n' favor White House mansion

Washington AC/DC - "Uh, this sort of thing just doesn't go on in the United States," a Pentagon internal affairs spokesperson said this weekend as news of security raids across the Capital broke. First up a 6am sweep of the Presidential potting sh...

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General "Jumpin' Jack" Bootheel on the Lam

Funny story: General "Jumpin' Jack" Bootheel on the Lam

The Guard Dog is pleased to break the following story while at the same time nose-tighteningly aware of sensitivities implicating reporters. General Bootheel has disclosed a new key tool in the surveillance battle, taking metadata to new heights.

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Pentagon hacker's mother demands official Presidential pardon 'and grovelling apology'

Funny story: Pentagon hacker's mother demands official Presidential pardon 'and grovelling apology'

Washington - There is growing disgust at the Pentagon this weekend after the mother of a Brit computer hacker who caused millions of dollars of damage to US military computer systems demanded an official pardon from President Obama 'and a grovelling...

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Pentagon blames 'tit-for-tat' response in Gary McKinnon extradition refusal

Funny story: Pentagon blames 'tit-for-tat' response in Gary McKinnon extradition refusal

Arlington, Va - Defense Department lawyers have described today's decision by UK Home Secretary Theresa May as a 'tit-for-tat knee-jerk response' to a 1998 US Justice Department failure to extradite a bent UK judge 'who was too depressed to face tria...

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Pentagon claims Turkmeni insurgents have 'dirty bombs' - 'Mud weapons' virtually undetectable, say experts

Funny story: Pentagon claims Turkmeni insurgents have 'dirty bombs' - 'Mud weapons' virtually undetectable, say experts

Turkmenistan - Pentagon officials today released satellite images of what they say is a new weapons-grade mud enrichment facility north of Balkanabat, in Turkmenistan. Military experts say the brown, highly-refined paste is virtually undetectable, an...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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