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Funny story: Trump's Lewd Comments Provoke Criticism from House Speaker Paul Ryan

Trump's Lewd Comments Provoke Criticism from House Speaker Paul Ryan

Washington DC - Republicans are distancing themselves once again from their own nominee for President Donald Trump, this time over comments Trump made in 2005 that were caught on tape. On the tape, Trump is heard talking about how his "fame" lets hi...
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Funny story: North Carolina bans use of walking canes in public, designated "phallic symbols."

North Carolina bans use of walking canes in public, designated "phallic symbols."

The North Carolina legislature passed House bill #3 yesterday banning use of walking canes in public! As thousands of senior citizens complained of being instantly house bound,the Governor issued a statement supporting the legislation. It reads in pa...
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Funny story: Presidential Historian Says Trump Will Win Election

Presidential Historian Says Trump Will Win Election

Cambridge, MASS - Harvard Historian Peter Lodensplatz predicts Donald Trump will be America's next President. He claims his Presidential prediction model superior to all others because it is based on "all American Presidential elections" dating back...
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Funny story: Clinton Camp Insists Stumbling Incident Had "Nothing to do with" Seeing Huge Puerto Rican Cock

Clinton Camp Insists Stumbling Incident Had "Nothing to do with" Seeing Huge Puerto Rican Cock

New York (AP) - The video showing Hillary Clinton stumbling into her van and nearly falling before secret service grabbed her shoulders has fueled speculation that the Democratic Presidential candidate may be suffering from undisclosed health ailment...
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Funny story: Pornographic Film Actor Files Suit Over Cock Shaming

Pornographic Film Actor Files Suit Over Cock Shaming

San Fernando, CA - A male pornographic film star filed a suit in San Fernando District Court yesterday. In it he alleges that actresses he works with, who constantly tell him on camera that his "cock is so fucking huge." and refer to it as "fat" whe...
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Funny story: House Speaker Paul Ryan Unveils Cock and Alternative To Obamacare

House Speaker Paul Ryan Unveils Cock and Alternative To Obamacare

Washington DC- Saying he wasn't elected House Speaker to "sit around with my thumb up my ass," Paul Ryan today unveiled his cock and a legislative alternative to Obamacare that was "streamlined and nowhere near as massive as the original." Ryan took...
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Funny story: American Urological Society Awards Golden State Warriors Forward Draymond Green Man of The Year in Unanimous Vote

American Urological Society Awards Golden State Warriors Forward Draymond Green Man of The Year in Unanimous Vote

Miembro, New Mexico - In a first ever unanimous vote, America's most prominent urological society today gave Draymond Green its Man of the Year Award. Normally given at year's end, this year's award came prematurely, but it was a move that sparked n...
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Funny story: After the Debate...Trump, Cruz, Rubio exchange barbs at urinal

After the Debate...Trump, Cruz, Rubio exchange barbs at urinal

Last night's Republican debate in Detroit was only half the story. Our intrepid Senior Reporter, Dale Petrie has a nose for news, which fortunately for him was plugged, because to get the real dirt, he hid in the restroom at the Fox Theater. Here is...
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Funny story: Move over Trump! This 100-foot robot with an American flagpole cock is the new Republican darling!

Move over Trump! This 100-foot robot with an American flagpole cock is the new Republican darling!

WASHINGTON, DC - Standing at a modest 18-full-grown-men tall, the sentient wrecking ball that is Koktor is setting fire to recent Republican polls. Having arrived on the political stage just days after defending the Pacific coast from a radioactive o...
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Funny story: Welsh gigalo gets elephant penis transplant

Welsh gigalo gets elephant penis transplant

Welsh gigalo Bigboyo Davies has become the first human to successfully undergo a penis transplant from a donor elephant. Horace, a 20 year old African elephant at Barry Zoo, South Wales, succumbed to one-too-many fat old ladies riding bare back on hi...
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Funny story: PGA Won't Let Tiger Use His Dick As Putter

PGA Won't Let Tiger Use His Dick As Putter

Dublin, Ohio - The day after shooting the worst round in his illustrious golfing career, an 85, at Jack Nicklaus's Memorial Tourny, Tiger Woods' caddie told our man on the scene, Chip Fairway, that his boss's mental frustrations on the course all ste...
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Funny story: World Naked Bike Ride

World Naked Bike Ride

Police were forced to intervene in the naked cycling event in Canterbury - after reports one of the riders got 'overexcited'. The 'aroused' cyclist was pulled aside and put his jeans back on before being spoken to by officers. Superintendant Ro...
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Funny story: Albuquerque Area Magician Nearly Lynched After Having Pet Dwarf Monkeys Take Turns Leaping Into Crowd From Atop His Dick

Albuquerque Area Magician Nearly Lynched After Having Pet Dwarf Monkeys Take Turns Leaping Into Crowd From Atop His Dick

Albuquerque, New Mexico - In what Sheriff Deputies called "a scene reminiscent of frontier vigilante justice," an Albuquerque area magician was treed by a drunken mob that took exception to his act. Performing at an airport Ramada Inn, the magicia...
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Funny story: First Lady Offers Refugee Ghetto Kids Life Lessons At Urban Community Garden Patch

First Lady Offers Refugee Ghetto Kids Life Lessons At Urban Community Garden Patch

Baltimore - First Lady Michelle Obama escorted a group of mostly Hispanic, non-English speaking kids to a ghetto community garden on the first leg of her month long "Garden Organic Now America!" tour, where she told them "organic gardening teaches th...
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Funny story: Having A Truly Gigantic Cock Correlates Strongly With Low Life Time Earnings, Study Finds

Having A Truly Gigantic Cock Correlates Strongly With Low Life Time Earnings, Study Finds

It turns out that having a massive penis is not the umitigated blessing most men aged 8 through 80 think it to be. Though it may boost mightily one's self-esteem, a recent research study says it can be quite hard on the pocketbook. In a paper tit...
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Funny story: Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

The Vatican well known for it's lofty metaphysical discussions about the meaning of life like whether children will go to hell for masturbating and if women's orgasm are sinful and important philosophical quandaries like that - has now turned to deep...
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Funny story: Maverick RAF Cock Drawing Pilot shows some bollocks this time!

Maverick RAF Cock Drawing Pilot shows some bollocks this time!

RAF Lossiemouth confirmed to the The Daily Nettle today, that one of their most daring pilots, Flight Lootenant Wing Commander Flight Captain Viceroy Gordon 'Goose' Maverick, has been carpeted by station big-wigs for the second time in a week, after...
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Funny story: Hospital's Center For Stiffy Research Handling Man's Prolonged Morning Wood

Hospital's Center For Stiffy Research Handling Man's Prolonged Morning Wood

GRANITE PEAK, WHEELING, WV -- An Ohio County man whose morning wood lasts well into the afternoon has prompted the medical community to rethink its definition of the condition. Dr. Fernando Massive, director of Wheeling Hospital's Center for Stiff...
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Breaking News...

Holiday tips from Santa!

When interviewed, Santa clause was quoted saying "Remember, if you're going to jingle then please jingle all the way". So remember folks, Santa doesn't like a half-assed jingler.
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