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Funny story: Church of England Shocker: Vicar Admits He Is Descended From Penguins!

Church of England Shocker: Vicar Admits He Is Descended From Penguins!

The Church of England was left reeling yesterday after a vicar admitted to his flock he was actually descended from penguins. The news has sent shock ways across the church and the Archbishop of Canterbury is said to be mortified. Donald Crewston...
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Funny story: Escaped Penguin Suspected of Pranking Tokyo Zoo

Escaped Penguin Suspected of Pranking Tokyo Zoo

The Humboldt Penguin whose daring escape from Tokyo's Sea Life Park in March, which shocked the world, is now suspected of pranking Tokyo Zoo. The Penguin, named Penguin No.13, who looks no different that Penguins 1-12, threw himself over a 13 foot...
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Funny story: Penguins lay waste to a London Nightclub

Penguins lay waste to a London Nightclub

Police were called to the Mackerel Nightclub on King Street in London last night after three dozen penguins descended on the club and started causing a riot. "It was mayhem," said chief bouncer, Trevor "No Neck" Wetherspoon. "I was stopping this c...
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Funny story: Penguin Crap Justifies Space Programme!

Penguin Crap Justifies Space Programme!

Ever since NASA raced to put men in the moon, critics have been questioning the need for the space programme. No longer! Space boffins have finally silenced the nay-sayers by using satellite technology to find where penguins go to relieve thems...
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Funny story: Gassy Emperor Penguins suspected behind Brazilian research station blast

Gassy Emperor Penguins suspected behind Brazilian research station blast

King George Island, Antarctica - Bloated from gorging on krill and squid a colony of gassy Emperor Penguins may be behind the fire that's gutted a Brazilian research station in the Antarctic. Until this morning the Comandante Ferraz base was carry...
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Funny story: Thieving Penguin On 'Frozen Planet' "Was A Scouser. Probably."

Thieving Penguin On 'Frozen Planet' "Was A Scouser. Probably."

According to at least one school of thought, the thieving penguin on David Attenborough's BBC smash hit series 'Frozen Planet' was probably a Scouser. So says Donald Skoob, 93, a janitor at Salford University. Viewers of the nature documentary...
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Funny story: Male gay penguin finds female penguin pussy more attractive!

Male gay penguin finds female penguin pussy more attractive!

The "ice cold" truth about male gays, penguins that is, has now been witnessed in a Canadian zoo. After spending many warm winters snuggled up together, Pedro and his intimate buddy, Buddy, have decided to split up because a wretched female has enter...
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Funny story: The Toronto Zoo Is Catching Hell For Threatening To Separate Its Two Gay Penguins Buddy and Pedro

The Toronto Zoo Is Catching Hell For Threatening To Separate Its Two Gay Penguins Buddy and Pedro

TORONTO, Canada - The director of The Toronto Zoo, Pierre F. Toulouse has stated that a recent story about two gay zoo penguins has ignited quite a firestorm. Mr. Toulouse told Taffeta Kixx of iRumors that the zoo purchased two male African pengui...
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Funny story: Naked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony

Naked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony

Barney & Friends and Wizards of Waverley Place star Selena Gomez is a self-confessed "huge animal lover", writes Dick Palmer-Humbert, Desperation Correspondent. So it is perhaps ironic that she is very close, if not actually intimate, with "Ca...
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Funny story: More Surrealist Letters To The Editor

More Surrealist Letters To The Editor

Dear Scobie Breasley, are you able to put us in contact with other of your ilk, that is, Australian Jockeys of a certain age or era? It is always our goal to have these fellows stuffed and then lean them against one another all along my garden path (crazed-paved, quite the "yellow brick road", and cloche-lined ("I loath thy microscopic Crystal Palaces, Hereward, Hereward and Hereward", quoth Au...
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Funny story: Newby Isle of Wight Preparing for Easter BEFORE Christmas

Newby Isle of Wight Preparing for Easter BEFORE Christmas

Residents of Newby, Isle of Wight, recently heard that Tesco's have already put out Easter Eggs on their shelves. This 'dastardly deed' was carried out on Boxing Day. Newby residents don't seem to think of this as strange at all as new Mayor of Newby, Arthur Askme, said, "We folk of Newby always like to get an' ed start on thee 'olidays. What's the point o' waiting 'till last minute? Ou...
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Funny story: Penguin Stolen from London Zoo Recovered

Penguin Stolen from London Zoo Recovered

A penguin stolen from London Zoo on Tuesday has been recovered and returned to the zoo unharmed. A woman was apprehended running along the strand with the penguin under her arm on Wednesday night. She had dressed the bird in baby clothing to try t...
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Funny story: Icy Norman waddled the Earth

Icy Norman waddled the Earth

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to take you back to a time when massive 35ft penguins roamed the Earth. A time when civilisation wasn't as civilised as it is today (try saying that with a straight face). A timezone John Williams hasn't composed a piec...
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Funny story: Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Scientists in Peru have uncovered a fossil of a giant penguin. The monstrous bird was the size of a modern day emu, but quite obviously a penguin from the body shape, wing design and perfectly preserved bow-tie. "It is a remarkable specimen," s...
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Funny story: 'Giant Killer Penguins' Unearthed in Peru

'Giant Killer Penguins' Unearthed in Peru

The fossil of a giant and deadly penguin that roamed the earth 36 million years ago has been discovered in Peru. Scientists, writing in Science journal, say that the features of the bird show that it evolved from early penguins, with brown and gra...
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Funny story: Bootleg Copies of "March Of The Penguins" Seized

Bootleg Copies of "March Of The Penguins" Seized

Bootleg copies of "March of the Penguins" were seized by customs agents as they were being imported into the country. Over 10,000 dvds were found in shipping cases destined for distribution all thoughout the country. The movie, originally release...
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Funny story: Britain strikes Olympic Penguin Stroking Gold

Britain strikes Olympic Penguin Stroking Gold

The British Olympic team were dancing in the streets of Vancouver last night after winning their first Gold Medal at the Winter Olympics. The little fishing village of Vancouver, which is named after the French verb 'to slumber', awoke this mornin...
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Funny story: Mass Penguin Migration Day to be marked with New Holiday

Mass Penguin Migration Day to be marked with New Holiday

A mass migration of penguins has begun in the southern seas. This migration began last Tuesday but was only recognised yesterday when satellite images from Space recorded their activities on Saturday. It is believed that this migration will include...
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Breaking News...

New York now belongs to the Polar Circle!

The deep freeze hitting northeast US has forced Google Maps to enter the area into the Polar circle. Eskimos and Polar Bears were seen playing in the snow after deserting their global-warmed homeland!
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