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Funny satire stories about Penguins

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Alien UFO spotted landing near Antarctica is flown by penguins!

Funny story: Alien UFO spotted landing near Antarctica is flown by penguins!

UK Earthling Alien spotters, let out of local Loony Bins, swear they have spotted a UFO that landed on the Southern Atlantic island called, South Georgia. They spotted the strange shape on Google Earth and straightaway, President Trump told UK PM Ma...

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Penguin Awareness Day

Funny story: Penguin Awareness Day

People around the world are to be reminded today of the long neglected, and never mentioned Penguin, for January 20th is indeed Penguin Awareness day. The vicious vermin, known for their anti-social habits, and never appearing in any documentaries...

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Gay Penguin book banned in US!

Funny story: Gay Penguin book banned in US!

The US library and school authorities have decided to ban a book about gay penguins adopting a child because they feel it is damaging the reputations of penguins locked up in zoos! Similar to being incarcerated in San Quentin prison, where many ma...

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Penguins Eyeing East Coast as Potential New Habitat

Funny story: Penguins Eyeing East Coast as Potential New Habitat

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - Penguins have been spotted swimming in the icy coastal waters off Boston with a look of delight in their beady little eyes. Much to the delight of avid East Coast birdwatchers, it is suspected that the aquatic creatures, who...

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Church of England Shocker: Vicar Admits He Is Descended From Penguins!

Funny story: Church of England Shocker: Vicar Admits He Is Descended From Penguins!

The Church of England was left reeling yesterday after a vicar admitted to his flock he was actually descended from penguins. The news has sent shock ways across the church and the Archbishop of Canterbury is said to be mortified. Donald Crewston...

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Escaped Penguin Suspected of Pranking Tokyo Zoo

Funny story: Escaped Penguin Suspected of Pranking Tokyo Zoo

The Humboldt Penguin whose daring escape from Tokyo's Sea Life Park in March, which shocked the world, is now suspected of pranking Tokyo Zoo. The Penguin, named Penguin No.13, who looks no different that Penguins 1-12, threw himself over a 13 foot...

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Penguins lay waste to a London Nightclub

Funny story: Penguins lay waste to a London Nightclub

Police were called to the Mackerel Nightclub on King Street in London last night after three dozen penguins descended on the club and started causing a riot. "It was mayhem," said chief bouncer, Trevor "No Neck" Wetherspoon. "I was stopping this c...

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Penguin Crap Justifies Space Programme!

Funny story: Penguin Crap Justifies Space Programme!

Ever since NASA raced to put men in the moon, critics have been questioning the need for the space programme. No longer! Space boffins have finally silenced the nay-sayers by using satellite technology to find where penguins go to relieve thems...

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Gassy Emperor Penguins suspected behind Brazilian research station blast

Funny story: Gassy Emperor Penguins suspected behind Brazilian research station blast

King George Island, Antarctica - Bloated from gorging on krill and squid a colony of gassy Emperor Penguins may be behind the fire that's gutted a Brazilian research station in the Antarctic. Until this morning the Comandante Ferraz base was carry...

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Thieving Penguin On 'Frozen Planet' "Was A Scouser. Probably."

Funny story: Thieving Penguin On 'Frozen Planet' "Was A Scouser. Probably."

According to at least one school of thought, the thieving penguin on David Attenborough's BBC smash hit series 'Frozen Planet' was probably a Scouser. So says Donald Skoob, 93, a janitor at Salford University. Viewers of the nature documentary...

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Male gay penguin finds female penguin pussy more attractive!

Funny story: Male gay penguin finds female penguin pussy more attractive!

The "ice cold" truth about male gays, penguins that is, has now been witnessed in a Canadian zoo. After spending many warm winters snuggled up together, Pedro and his intimate buddy, Buddy, have decided to split up because a wretched female has enter...

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The Toronto Zoo Is Catching Hell For Threatening To Separate Its Two Gay Penguins Buddy and Pedro

Funny story: The Toronto Zoo Is Catching Hell For Threatening To Separate Its Two Gay Penguins Buddy and Pedro

TORONTO, Canada - The director of The Toronto Zoo, Pierre F. Toulouse has stated that a recent story about two gay zoo penguins has ignited quite a firestorm. Mr. Toulouse told Taffeta Kixx of iRumors that the zoo purchased two male African pengui...

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Naked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony

Funny story: Naked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony

Barney & Friends and Wizards of Waverley Place star Selena Gomez is a self-confessed "huge animal lover", writes Dick Palmer-Humbert, Desperation Correspondent. So it is perhaps ironic that she is very close, if not actually intimate, with "Ca...

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More Surrealist Letters To The Editor

Funny story: More Surrealist Letters To The Editor

Dear Scobie Breasley, are you able to put us in contact with other of your ilk, that is, Australian Jockeys of a certain age or era? It is always our goal to have these fellows stuffed and then lean them against one another all along my garden path (crazed-paved, quite the "yellow brick road", and cloche-lined ("I loath thy microscopic Crystal Palaces, Hereward, Hereward and Hereward", quoth Au...

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Newby Isle of Wight Preparing for Easter BEFORE Christmas

Funny story: Newby Isle of Wight Preparing for Easter BEFORE Christmas

Residents of Newby, Isle of Wight, recently heard that Tesco's have already put out Easter Eggs on their shelves. This 'dastardly deed' was carried out on Boxing Day. Newby residents don't seem to think of this as strange at all as new Mayor of Newby, Arthur Askme, said, "We folk of Newby always like to get an' ed start on thee 'olidays. What's the point o' waiting 'till last minute? Ou...

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Penguin Stolen from London Zoo Recovered

Funny story: Penguin Stolen from London Zoo Recovered

A penguin stolen from London Zoo on Tuesday has been recovered and returned to the zoo unharmed. A woman was apprehended running along the strand with the penguin under her arm on Wednesday night. She had dressed the bird in baby clothing to try t...

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Icy Norman waddled the Earth

Funny story: Icy Norman waddled the Earth

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to take you back to a time when massive 35ft penguins roamed the Earth. A time when civilisation wasn't as civilised as it is today (try saying that with a straight face). A timezone John Williams hasn't composed a piec...

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Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Funny story: Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Scientists in Peru have uncovered a fossil of a giant penguin. The monstrous bird was the size of a modern day emu, but quite obviously a penguin from the body shape, wing design and perfectly preserved bow-tie. "It is a remarkable specimen," s...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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