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Funny story:  Thieving Penguin On 'Frozen Planet' "Was A Scouser. Probably."

Thieving Penguin On 'Frozen Planet' "Was A Scouser. Probably."

According to at least one school of thought, the thieving penguin on David Attenborough's BBC smash hit series 'Frozen Planet' was probably a Scouser. So says Donald Skoob, 93, a janitor at Salford University. Viewers of the nature documentary...
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Funny story:  Male gay penguin finds female penguin pussy more attractive!

Male gay penguin finds female penguin pussy more attractive!

The "ice cold" truth about male gays, penguins that is, has now been witnessed in a Canadian zoo. After spending many warm winters snuggled up together, Pedro and his intimate buddy, Buddy, have decided to split up because a wretched female has enter...
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Funny story:  The Toronto Zoo Is Catching Hell For Threatening To Separate Its Two Gay Penguins Buddy and Pedro

The Toronto Zoo Is Catching Hell For Threatening To Separate Its Two Gay Penguins Buddy and Pedro

TORONTO, Canada - The director of The Toronto Zoo, Pierre F. Toulouse has stated that a recent story about two gay zoo penguins has ignited quite a firestorm. Mr. Toulouse told Taffeta Kixx of iRumors that the zoo purchased two male African pengui...
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Funny story:  Naked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony

Naked Selena Gomez Pregnant With Justin Bieber Irony

Barney & Friends and Wizards of Waverley Place star Selena Gomez is a self-confessed "huge animal lover", writes Dick Palmer-Humbert, Desperation Correspondent. So it is perhaps ironic that she is very close, if not actually intimate, with "Ca...
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Funny story:  More Surrealist Letters To The Editor

More Surrealist Letters To The Editor

Dear Scobie Breasley, are you able to put us in contact with other of your ilk, that is, Australian Jockeys of a certain age or era? It is always our goal to have these fellows stuffed and then lean them against one another all along my garden path (crazed-paved, quite the "yellow brick road", and cloche-lined ("I loath thy microscopic Crystal Palaces, Hereward, Hereward and Hereward", quoth Au...
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Funny story:  Newby Isle of Wight Preparing for Easter BEFORE Christmas

Newby Isle of Wight Preparing for Easter BEFORE Christmas

Residents of Newby, Isle of Wight, recently heard that Tesco's have already put out Easter Eggs on their shelves. This 'dastardly deed' was carried out on Boxing Day. Newby residents don't seem to think of this as strange at all as new Mayor of Newby, Arthur Askme, said, "We folk of Newby always like to get an' ed start on thee 'olidays. What's the point o' waiting 'till last minute? Ou...
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Funny story:  Penguin Stolen from London Zoo Recovered

Penguin Stolen from London Zoo Recovered

A penguin stolen from London Zoo on Tuesday has been recovered and returned to the zoo unharmed. A woman was apprehended running along the strand with the penguin under her arm on Wednesday night. She had dressed the bird in baby clothing to try t...
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Funny story:  Icy Norman waddled the Earth

Icy Norman waddled the Earth

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to take you back to a time when massive 35ft penguins roamed the Earth. A time when civilisation wasn't as civilised as it is today (try saying that with a straight face). A timezone John Williams hasn't composed a piec...
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Funny story:  Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Paleontologists uncover a fossil of a giant penguin

Scientists in Peru have uncovered a fossil of a giant penguin. The monstrous bird was the size of a modern day emu, but quite obviously a penguin from the body shape, wing design and perfectly preserved bow-tie. "It is a remarkable specimen," s...
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Funny story:  'Giant Killer Penguins' Unearthed in Peru

'Giant Killer Penguins' Unearthed in Peru

The fossil of a giant and deadly penguin that roamed the earth 36 million years ago has been discovered in Peru. Scientists, writing in Science journal, say that the features of the bird show that it evolved from early penguins, with brown and gra...
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Funny story:  Bootleg Copies of "March Of The Penguins" Seized

Bootleg Copies of "March Of The Penguins" Seized

Bootleg copies of "March of the Penguins" were seized by customs agents as they were being imported into the country. Over 10,000 dvds were found in shipping cases destined for distribution all thoughout the country. The movie, originally release...
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Funny story:  Britain strikes Olympic Penguin Stroking Gold

Britain strikes Olympic Penguin Stroking Gold

The British Olympic team were dancing in the streets of Vancouver last night after winning their first Gold Medal at the Winter Olympics. The little fishing village of Vancouver, which is named after the French verb 'to slumber', awoke this mornin...
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Funny story:  Mass Penguin Migration Day to be marked with New Holiday

Mass Penguin Migration Day to be marked with New Holiday

A mass migration of penguins has begun in the southern seas. This migration began last Tuesday but was only recognised yesterday when satellite images from Space recorded their activities on Saturday. It is believed that this migration will include...
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Funny story:  Penguins Trained To Fight

Penguins Trained To Fight

Australia: A group of rare Penguins are being trained in armed and unarmed combat. Initially the plan was for them to be able to defend themselves. However, the Australians have now seen the opportunity to develop the scheme further. Bruce Phillpot o...
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Funny story:  The San Francisco Zoo's Gay Penguin Scandal

The San Francisco Zoo's Gay Penguin Scandal

SAN FRANCISCO - An aviary scandal has hit the usually quite laid-back San Francisco Zoo. Zoo Director Bodega Garcia-Sinclair said that a gay penguin couple Harry and Pepper have been a same-sex couple for six years. The two gay birds made world-wi...
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Funny story:  The Penguins of Drought?

The Penguins of Drought?

Specialist archeological climatologists today met each other and themselves in Fez. Aside from millinery concerns, these blowers and diggers were there to discuss the findings of a recent expedition in the Gobi Desert, Mongolia. In one of the har...
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Funny story:  Bring It On - Burnley Man Lays Down Gauntlet

Bring It On - Burnley Man Lays Down Gauntlet

Following an internet threat of a violent invasion by Emperor penguins a Burnley man, Mr Jimmy Bacon, of Stoops Estate warned that the penguins had better be up for it. Speaking from the lounge bar of the White Horse pub in neighbouring Padiham, B...
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Funny story:  Magellan Penguins Marooned on Brazilian Beaches to March in Mardi Gras Parades

Magellan Penguins Marooned on Brazilian Beaches to March in Mardi Gras Parades

Like drunken tuxedoed teens at their first prom, hordes of Magellan penguins have shown up on Brazilian beaches. The birds out of snow were wandering around the carioca beaches and resorts of Ipanema until the novelty wore off and they began to be vi...
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Breaking News...

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Achieves Orgasm

Ultra-Conservative Arizona Governor Jan Brewer says she achieved an orgasm last night as she was listening to Rush Limbaugh. "I really enjoyed it", Brewer stated.

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