Tuskeegee Institute, AL - 120+ year old George Washington Carver isn't taking the allegations about his beloved peanut lightly. Joining forces with ex-president, dipshit, and one-time peanut grower Jimmy Carter, the historic team has filed a defamati...
Manufacturers of marmalade, jelly, and preserves feel that they have a large enough grievance against jelly bottlers to sue them for equal time. Dabney Rind or Smith's Marmalade Corporation, speaking for all of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit, issued...
A dark secret was revealed in Science Fair magazine when Melvin Harris told the sordid secrets of the peanut butter industry. It's a secret so well guarded that giant food processors don't want you to know anything about a popular and cheap staple!...
Peanut Brittle, GA/ More News from The Nut - Former President 'Jimmie' Carter continued his crusade against Racism today when he came out strongly against Retail Economic Recovery, saying traditional 'January White Sales ' only encourage underlying...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The city of San Francisco has begun mobilizing for an imminent wave of peanut butter enemas on the heels of an article recently published at The Spoof, said P. Ross Tate, a city official.
"San Francisco has a... Oh, I don't kno...
LOS ANGELES, CA - Linda Lovelace has been an assistant to Britney Spears for nearly three years, but says she never thought the day would come that she might get to experience something like this. "I know to some people it might not be that big a de...
Since peanut butter is not currently a favored food source for Americans, jelly is stepping up to fill in, in more ways than one. Many people who are accustomed to covering both slices of bread with something are simply doubling up on the jelly, but...
General Mills Inc. and grocers Kroger Co. and Safeway Inc. have joined the growing list of food companies and retailers pulling items made with peanut butter amid a salmonella outbreak.
"This will cost us millions of dollars and we expect a bailou...
Spoof reporters tonight accompanied Spoof police officers on a series of raids targeted at internet dating site fraud.
'Quite often, what you see is not what you're about to get,' explained Sergeant John Sergeant-Smythe. 'I mean, it's ridiculous t...
Peanut butter, the latest big thing in a recession hit economy has come under fire from none other than Tory Party leader David 'Do Nothing Dave' Cameron and was the reason for heated exchanges at PM Question Time.
PM Gordon Brown came out in supp...
You'll never guess what? The age old problem of being a spastic, handicapped, disabled or a mong could be solved after researchers in Michigan discovered that by rubbing smooth Peanut butter into mentals can cure them.
Most, if not all people have...
Researchers in Michigan are baffled as to why singer Britney Spears rubbed peanut butter into vagina yesterday as research has proven that despite helping with acne, small penises, obesity and stopping smoking it has no curing affect for vaginas.
Researchers in Michigan have claimed that teen singing sensation Miley Cyrus has smeared herself in peanut butter in an attempt to cure her acne and cellulite as well as her obesity and smoking habit.
It has recently been announced that Peanut bu...
The age old problem of tobacco addiction and smoking could be a thing of the past after researchers in Michigan discovered that by rubbing smooth Peanut butter onto the soles of your feet makes all cravings for tobacco products disappear. This is ba...
The age old problem of standing in dog poo and having the poo encase itself in the tread of your sneaker could be solved after researchers in Michigan discovered that by rubbing smooth Peanut butter onto affected areas of footwear and then digging at...
The age old problem of obesity and being fat could be solved after researchers in Michigan discovered that by rubbing smooth Peanut butter into unsightly fat actually makes it disappear. Sales of Peanut butter are said to be rocketing.
Most, if n...
The age old problem of a small penis, usually found in Asian men and those hailing from Lancaster England could be solved after researchers in Michigan discovered that by rubbing smooth Peanut butter onto your penis skin actually increases its size.
The age old problem of Acne could be solved after researchers in Michigan discovered that by rubbing smooth Peanut butter into spotty skin actually removes zits. Sales of Peanut butter are said to be rocketing.
Most, if not all teenagers, suffer...