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Funny satire stories about Peanut Butter

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Local 4th Grader Circulates Petition to Decriminalize Peanut Butter Possession

Funny story: Local 4th Grader Circulates Petition to Decriminalize Peanut Butter Possession

Thomas Bonnie, a 4th grade student at Westside Elementary School in Decatur, IL, has started a petition to decriminalize possession of peanut butter and related products. Bonnie, who has been caught twice already this school year with peanut pro...

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Jam Manufacturer to Enter Strange Flavor Market

Funny story: Jam Manufacturer to Enter Strange Flavor Market

Following the successful business models set forth by Jelly Belly candies and the Ben & Jerry Ice Cream company, Smuckster's also hopes to cash in with its own blends of strange jam and jelly flavors. Ice cream flavors with names like Moose Tr...

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Kate Middleton pregnancy scare

Funny story: Kate Middleton pregnancy scare

Future Queen of England, Kate Middleton, was relieved to discover she wasn't pregnant after getting a craving for peanut butter that saw her work her way through half a jar of Waitrose Smooth. "I had a massive urge to have a bit of peanut butter,"...

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Makers of Marmalade, Jam, and Preserves Sue Jelly Manufacturers For Equal Time

Funny story: Makers of Marmalade, Jam, and Preserves Sue Jelly Manufacturers For Equal Time

Manufacturers of marmalade, jelly, and preserves feel that they have a large enough grievance against jelly bottlers to sue them for equal time. Dabney Rind or Smith's Marmalade Corporation, speaking for all of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit, issued...

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President Carter Says 'January White Sales are Racist!'

Funny story: President Carter Says 'January White Sales are Racist!'

Peanut Brittle, GA/ More News from The Nut - Former President 'Jimmie' Carter continued his crusade against Racism today when he came out strongly against Retail Economic Recovery, saying traditional 'January White Sales ' only encourage underlying...

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San Francisco Peanut Butter Colonic Alert Elevated to Yellow

Funny story: San Francisco Peanut Butter Colonic Alert Elevated to Yellow

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The city of San Francisco has begun mobilizing for an imminent wave of peanut butter enemas on the heels of an article recently published at The Spoof, said P. Ross Tate, a city official. "San Francisco has a... Oh, I don't kno...

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Britney Spears Removes Top

Funny story: Britney Spears Removes Top

LOS ANGELES, CA - Linda Lovelace has been an assistant to Britney Spears for nearly three years, but says she never thought the day would come that she might get to experience something like this. "I know to some people it might not be that big a de...

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Jelly Fills In

Since peanut butter is not currently a favored food source for Americans, jelly is stepping up to fill in, in more ways than one. Many people who are accustomed to covering both slices of bread with something are simply doubling up on the jelly, but...

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Leading Groceries Pull Peanut Products, Blame George Washington Carver!

Funny story: Leading Groceries Pull Peanut Products, Blame George Washington Carver!

General Mills Inc. and grocers Kroger Co. and Safeway Inc. have joined the growing list of food companies and retailers pulling items made with peanut butter amid a salmonella outbreak. "This will cost us millions of dollars and we expect a bailou...

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Peanut Butter Internet Dating Scam Smacked Down By Spoof Police

Funny story: Peanut Butter Internet Dating Scam Smacked Down By Spoof Police

Spoof reporters tonight accompanied Spoof police officers on a series of raids targeted at internet dating site fraud. 'Quite often, what you see is not what you're about to get,' explained Sergeant John Sergeant-Smythe. 'I mean, it's ridiculous t...

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Peanut Butter Blamed For Blocked Drains

Funny story: Peanut Butter Blamed For Blocked Drains

Peanut butter, the latest big thing in a recession hit economy has come under fire from none other than Tory Party leader David 'Do Nothing Dave' Cameron and was the reason for heated exchanges at PM Question Time. PM Gordon Brown came out in supp...

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A Spoonful of Peanut Butter'll Cure What Ails Ya

Funny story: A Spoonful of Peanut Butter'll Cure What Ails Ya

This is the story of Jeffrey and Emil, two schoolboys basking in the warm fall sun, which flitters through their classroom window. This peace and serenity however was not long to last. Jeffrey sat at his desk, listening to Emil's dripping nose. "Drip, drip, drip," came the gross irritating noise. About once every five seconds or so, Jeffery reckoned. After a while, it all became too mu...

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Don Imus Professes Dislike of African American Based Peanut Butter

Funny story: Don Imus Professes Dislike of African American Based Peanut Butter

Radio personality Don Imus shocked listeners recently when he said he didn't like peanut butter, or as he put it, "that sticky oily stuff" that he claimed adheres to the roof of his mouth.

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Britney Spears' Empty Jars of Peter Pan For Sale on Ebay

Funny story: Britney Spears' Empty Jars of Peter Pan For Sale on Ebay

In a follow up story to the revelation that Britney Spears bizarre behavior could be due to having consumed contaminated Peter Pan peanut butter, sources have learned that the empty jars left in the rehab center were retrieved by a maid and put up fo...

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Breaking news…

Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...
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