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Funny satire stories about Paul Ryan

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Paul Ryan: "To Save Social Security, Shorten the Life Span"

Washington, D. C. In a remarkable reversal of his position, House Speaker Paul Ryan today announced that the way to save the social security system is to shorten the life span of working Americans so that fewer of them retire to collect retirement be...

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We Are A Fly On The Wall At The Republican Formation Of The New Health Plan.

"What are we going to do?" whispered Mitch McConnell secretly to Mike Pence. " If we don't get this new AbominableCare bill through our handlers will come down on us heavy!" "First off, I think we should change the name. It sounds too much like Ob...

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Trump, Ryan Cast Together in Naked and Afraid

Funny story: Trump, Ryan Cast Together in Naked and Afraid

Washington, DC - President Donald Trump and House Speaker Paul Ryan will appear together on the reality show, Naked and Afraid. Producers wanted to film a special episode where two politicians have to live on their own without access to health care.

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Ryan Urges Trump to Resign

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan has urged President Trump to resign, according to people close to him. "It is much easier for our members to be the party in opposition than it is to govern," the Speaker reportedly told the President. "As the part...

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Scientists fail to prove that pollution still exists to idiots

Funny story: Scientists fail to prove that pollution still exists to idiots

After letting close minded politicians and other agenda pushing brain apes bamboozle them with conflicting theories on climate change, scientists again get boned when they try to reassert the concept of pollution. "I consider it fake news," Presid...

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GOP To Kill Thousands Of Sick People

Funny story: GOP To Kill Thousands Of Sick People

CHICAGO TRIBUNE Recent studies indicate that Obamacare (The Affordable Care Act) has saved thousands of lives and prolonged the lives and decreased suffering of several millions. When asked about this, Paul Ryan said, "We're going to repeal i...

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New video of Trump farting released by Paul Ryan

Funny story: New video of Trump farting released by Paul Ryan

Washington D.C. - in a press conference here this morning, Paul Ryan released a video of Trump farting and then bragging about how well he can fart. On the video, the fart can be heard to last for a full nine seconds, at a pitch at least two octaves...

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Trump's Attempt To Get In Married Woman's Pants By Taking Her Furniture Shopping Leads To Calls For Him To Leave Planet

Funny story: Trump's Attempt To Get In Married Woman's Pants By Taking Her Furniture Shopping Leads To Calls For Him To Leave Planet

Washington DC - A tape strategically leaked to the press by the Clinton campaign has led to calls for Trump to drop out of the race. Most of those calling for him to drop out are major figures within the Republican party still bitter that the voters...

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Donald Trump Suspends Campaign After Running Out of Adjectives Aimed at the Level of Fourth Graders

Funny story: Donald Trump Suspends Campaign After Running Out of Adjectives Aimed at the Level of Fourth Graders

TRUMP HEADQUARTERS (that is, Trump's head)--Donald Trump today suspended his campaign after running out of adjectives aimed at his main demographic: Those who speak and write at the level of fourth graders. After "Crooked Hillary" began to get old,...

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House Speaker Paul Ryan Unveils Cock and Alternative To Obamacare

Funny story: House Speaker Paul Ryan Unveils Cock and Alternative To Obamacare

Washington DC- Saying he wasn't elected House Speaker to "sit around with my thumb up my ass," Paul Ryan today unveiled his cock and a legislative alternative to Obamacare that was "streamlined and nowhere near as massive as the original." Ryan took...

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Trump Declines GOP Nomination, Cites Reality TV Hoax

Funny story: Trump Declines GOP Nomination, Cites Reality TV Hoax

Washington, DC: In a stunning turn of events, Donald Trump, the presumed presidential nominee for the Republican Party, declined the nomination altogether, and announced that his entire race to the White House was for a reality TV project. The prem...

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Trump Brings His African American To Rally

Funny story: Trump Brings His African American To Rally

Washington, DC: Trump held multiple rallies today. At each rally he took his African American with him. Gregory Cheadle, a Republican candidate for the 1st Congressional District who lives in Happy Valley, California, was ecstatic to be the only Af...

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GOP Promises To Spank Trump If He Abuses Nuclear Arsenal

Funny story: GOP Promises To Spank Trump If He Abuses Nuclear Arsenal

Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan say they will resort to corporal punishment if Donald Trump should ever abuse his access to the nations nuclear codes. "I think a good old fashioned spanking or paddling would be in order," McConnell said. "Donald Tru...

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The Beatitudes, Updated and Appended to the Recently Passed Republican Tax Plan

Funny story: The Beatitudes, Updated and Appended to the Recently Passed Republican Tax Plan

Seeing the hungry crowds, Jesus went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. 2 And Jesus opened his mouth and yelled at the hungry and destitute crowds, shouting: 3 "Cursed are the poor in spirit, for they are the moochers and the takers! 4 "Cursed are those who mourn, or anyone who needs to be comforted, the saps! 5 "Blessed are the meek, especially those...

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Paul Ryan Releases Budget Report: Just Kill The Poor People

Funny story: Paul Ryan Releases Budget Report: Just Kill The Poor People

Paul Ryan's much anticipated budget report was released and as expected he really sticks it to America's poor, in fact he kills them! The new strategy called "Soylent Purple" amazingly cuts spending and balances the budget is just six months. I...

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You'll Never Guess Who Said And Advocated This

Whose policies and ideas are these? 1) A policy of effectively withholding relief to the poor and allowing market forces to take their course. 2) The idea that government charity will upset the free market and be an interference with free enter...

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Poor Children Are Better Off Going Hungry

It's hard to imagine that conservative political ideology asserting that poor children are better off going hungry could make any sense. But actually it does. As leading Republican intellectual Rep. Paul Ryan says, "Federally funded school lunch pr...

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Duck Dynasty's Robertson Star Of State of Union

Funny story: Duck Dynasty's Robertson Star Of State of Union

WASHINGTON - The house chamber was packed last night with special guests for President Obama's State of the Union Address. Included was the long-bearded star of the controversial show "Duck Dynasty" Willie Robertson, which has been noted for the hom...

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Breaking news…

United States Stupidity Quotient

The S. Q. increased 16% in the first year of Trump's term of office. It now stands at 69%.
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