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Funny satire stories about Paul Gascoigne

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Funny story: Paul Gascoigne On Wagon

Paul Gascoigne On Wagon

Former Newcastle United, Tottenham Hotspur, Lazio and England midfielder Paul Gascoigne, is rumoured to have given up drinking alcohol after he was spotted on Tyneside on Tuesday on the back of a coal wagon. Gascoigne, who also played for Boston U...
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Funny story: David Beckham comes out of retirement to play for PSG

David Beckham comes out of retirement to play for PSG

Pants model and tattooed lady lookalike David Beckham, 37, has sensationally come out of semi-retirement to play competitive football in the French Super Ligue after five years of playing in the Mickey Mouse Millionaire League in America. East Lon...
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Funny story: Bournemouth Photographer admits guilt for latest Gazza booze meltdown

Bournemouth Photographer admits guilt for latest Gazza booze meltdown

The photographer at the centre of the Gazza booze binge storm has admitted his part in the much loved footballers latest drunken meltdown in an exclusive interview with Shaworth of the daily Spoof. "I was really busy when he called by" the photograp...
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Funny story: Gazza goes to rehab on a pint!

Gazza goes to rehab on a pint!

Gazza, better known as Paul Gascoigne, super-footballer, super drinker and ex-England hero has sadly hit rock-bottom because of his alcohol problems The soccer world has not forgetten how great this man was for England and are supporting him in hi...
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Funny story: 'Arry took Spurs as far as he could!

'Arry took Spurs as far as he could!

White Hart Lane, LONDON: Shiver me timbers good old 'Arry has left the Spuds. In his four year 'reign' 'Arry saved Spuds from being relegated from the Prmiership and took them in his second season to fourth, then fifth in his third season and fourt...
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Funny story: Cameron appoints Gazza to 'troubleshoot' problem families

Cameron appoints Gazza to 'troubleshoot' problem families

Ministers say problem families are costing the state billions of pounds. David Cameron has announced a £448 trillion plan to identify and get help to the most troubled families in England. A network of "troubleshooters" will be given responsibilit...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle to marry Paul Gascoigne

Susan Boyle to marry Paul Gascoigne

Winner of the X-Factor and now international megastar, Susan Boyle, has been on the look out for Mr Right for some time, and has now abandoned her search in favour of Paul Gascoigne. "He's not Mr Right," said Boyle through an interpreter, "but he'...
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Funny story: Gazza Becomes a Rent-a-Friend

Gazza Becomes a Rent-a-Friend

Retired footballer Paul Gascoigne, nicknamed Gazza, has embarked on a new career as a rent-a-friend. Gascoigne details his services in a recently placed newspaper advertisement in which he manages to spell twelve words incorrectly - including his...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight residents planning an IOWL 'Isle of Wight League' football competition for next season

Isle of Wight residents planning an IOWL 'Isle of Wight League' football competition for next season

Residents of The Isle of Wight believe they have enough talented football players to start a 'League of their own' and therefore interested residents across he Isle are busy organizing try-outs for teams. Mayors of each village do admit that they...
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Funny story: Gazza Embarassed By Super Injunction

Gazza Embarassed By Super Injunction

Former England international Paul Gascoigne has revealed he took out a Carlsberg Super Injunction in 2005 to protect his privacy, but admits that it was a mistake. The Geordie, who made 57 appearances for England and scored 10 goals, has been wagi...
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Funny story: Gazza Called To Cobham

Gazza Called To Cobham

In the wake of Chelsea's Ashley Cole going on a rampage around the clubs Cobham training ground it has been widely reported that manager, Carlo Ancelotti, has lost control of his mega bucks superstars, with Cole in particular, being singled out as 'o...
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Funny story: Paul Gascoigne given suspended drink-driving sentence

Paul Gascoigne given suspended drink-driving sentence

Former footballer Paul Gascoigne has been given a suspended prison sentence after he admitted drinking and driving. In fact, when he was apprehended, weaving all over the road, he was also juggling with a pair of oranges. Officers had to use a 'st...
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Funny story: Rooney replacement, Gazza, gets "nicked" for possessing drugs!

Rooney replacement, Gazza, gets "nicked" for possessing drugs!

Sir Alex was hoping to shock the world by firstly flogging R****y (who?) and then asking Gazza to come out of retirement as his replacement!! Initially Sir Alex begged Mon dieu, Messr. Cantona to come back to Utd, lose some weight, train hard and...
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Funny story: Gazza arrested for Rooney. 'I did it for you, mate'

Gazza arrested for Rooney. 'I did it for you, mate'

Troubled former footie star, Paul Gascoigne has been arrested on suspicion of possessing drugs. Northumbria Police confirmed a 43-year-old man had been arrested for possession of a class A drug. A statement was released by a bloke down the pub reg...
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Funny story: Gazza Stopped by Cops - Blows a (WPC) Amber

Gazza Stopped by Cops - Blows a (WPC) Amber

Shocking news from Her Maj's Police Constabulary this morning reveals that former footballer Paul "Gazza" Crapgroin was pulled over by police while using the latest Sunnyspoons drive-through pub over the weekend. As Mr Crapgroin pulled away from...
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Funny story: Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm'

Gazza waited outside Raoul Moat taser firm boss' house clutching can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and 'something to keep him warm'

Kingsthorpe, Northampton - (Deja Vu Mess): It's a spooky flashback to last July's Northumbria siege which saw cops take out pesky Geordie shooter Raoul Moat with a taser. And this afternoon Gazza - the man who very nearly prevented Moat's topping...
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Funny story: Gascoigne takes the helm at Garforth Town

Gascoigne takes the helm at Garforth Town

Paul Gascoigne, the cheeky Georgie who wowed the world with his football prowess back in 1998, has taken the vacant manager's job at Evo-Stik First Division (Northern) League side Garforth Town. Chairman of Garforth, Clifford the Big Red Dog, is d...
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Funny story: Saint Gazza taxis into Manchester to save Wayne & Coleens marriage

Saint Gazza taxis into Manchester to save Wayne & Coleens marriage

Paul Gascoigne, ex footballer, now turned 'freelance negotiator' caught a Taxi to Manchester last night, apparently at great cost, offering to help Wayne Rooney and Coleen Rooney with their current marriage problems. Following his recent 'appearan...
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