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Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson is concerned at the mortal peril certain "bad folks" pose to people in the USA, and just this once, he's not been shy to get to the root of the problem. Now, listen carefully, my dear friends. If we are going to let all these, you know, these hooomoseeexual atheiiists, you know, if we tolerate them, let them work in our public facilities and business corporations.... Well, you'...

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John Boner Switches Position On Gays

Funny story: John Boner Switches Position On Gays

In the past, Speaker of The House of Representatives John Boner said," Listen, I believe that marriage is the union of one man and one woman," Boehner said. "All right. It's what I grew up with. It's what I believe. It's what my church teaches me. An...

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CNN, Pat Robertson: God Stole Malaysia Flight

CNN anchor Don Lemon and Decoded host Brad Meltzer discussed the possibility that God about the idea yesterday afternoon that God stole a Boeing 777. "Something "beyond our understanding" happened to Malaysia Airlines flight MH 370, that "somethin...

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Chick-fil-A to Drop Waffle Fries from Menu: Too Gay

Funny story: Chick-fil-A to Drop Waffle Fries from Menu: Too Gay

ATLANTA GA (AP) The Chick-fil-A fast food chain announced yesterday that it would be dropping its popular "Waffle Fries" from its menu and replacing them with a new fried potato product. At a press conference, Chick-fil-A spokesman Ted Haggard ex...

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Filipino Buddhists to MTRCB: Remove Pat Robertson's Channel From Cable Listings

MANILA, PHILIPPINES (Acme World News) -- Buddhists appeal to the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB) to remove the channel of American televangelist Pat Robertson from cable listings. The appeal was made after the controve...

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Pat Robertson Asks If Mac And Cheese Is 'A Black Thing'

Funny story: Pat Robertson Asks If Mac And Cheese Is 'A Black Thing'

Recently on Pat Robertson's 700 Club television show Robertson showed a video of his host Kristi Watts asking former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice what her favorite Thanksgiving food is. Rice told Watts that it is a helping of macaroni and cheese. After viewing the video, Pat Robertson and Watts, who is black, had the following exchange. Robertson: "Is that a black thing?" Watts: "It is...

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Pat Robertson Tells Christians "Don't Be Rebellious"

Reporter: "Do you think that Christians should get involved in the protests going on down on Wall Street?" Pat Robertson: "In my opinion, these protester down there on Wall Street are just plain rebellious. Christians should have nothing to do with anything like that. It'll just give us all a bad reputation." Reporter: "So you are saying that you don't think that Jesus would have had anythin...

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Pat Robertson: God's Will Has Been Done

Funny story: Pat Robertson: God's Will Has Been Done

Special to Spoof - Excited by Republican/Tea Party wins in Tuesday's midterm elections, televangelist Pat Robertson has decided to expand 700 Club membership by offering free tickets on the Rapture Express. The Rapture Express is similar in design to...

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Pat Robertson Supports Gay Marriage for Citizens of Mexico

Funny story: Pat Robertson Supports Gay Marriage for Citizens of Mexico

In a surprising announcement today, television evangelist Pat Robertson announced that he supported the legalization of gay marriage for the citizens of Mexico. On his television program, The 700 Club, Robertson explained his position. "Legalizing ga...

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Pat Robertson plots to get Hugo Chavez

Funny story: Pat Robertson plots to get Hugo Chavez

Five years ago, Pat Robertson suggested the United States government assassinate Hugo Chavez. Because the United States government has not done this, Pat Robertson is heading down to Venezuela to do the deed himself, he has packed an AK-47, 1000 r...

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Murdoch Parties with Filthy at Oyster Bay Estate

Funny story: Murdoch Parties with Filthy at Oyster Bay Estate

SPECIAL TO INS - On Thursday, more than 100 filthy people from Long Island were treated to a luncheon hosted by Fox News CEO Rupert Murdoch. The festivities were held in a corner of Murdoch's estate normally used by his dog, Hypocrite. In an effo...

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Evangelist Pat Robertson Channels Lenny Bruce, Lets F-Bomb Fly

Funny story: Evangelist Pat Robertson Channels Lenny Bruce, Lets F-Bomb Fly

Pat Robertson, asking for the spirit to fill him, instead got Lenny Bruce. All hell broke loose when he started cursing uncontrollably on the 700 Club. The show was not running on delay as something of this nature had never happened before, and there...

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Aetna, NewsCorp Wed in Private Ceremony

Funny story: Aetna, NewsCorp Wed in Private Ceremony

Taking advantage of the recent Supreme Court ruling affirming that corporations have all the rights of individuals, Aetna Insurance and News Corp were married in small, private ceremony at the Hamptons estate of musician Billy Joel, a mutual friend o...

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Pat Robertson Offers "Curse Passes" On 700 Club

The Reverend Pat Robertson has announced on his 700 Club program that he will be selling "Curse Passes" to his viewers. "We have seen in Haiti the havoc that can be reaped by God when a land is cursed. Therefore, we have reached a deal with God and w...

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God curses American evil evangelist for distorting His name by preying on the unfortunate. Pat Robertson clarifies his damning statement - says he meant to say Hawaii had sold its soul to the devil - not Haiti

Funny story: God curses American evil evangelist for distorting His name by preying on the unfortunate. Pat Robertson clarifies his damning statement - says he meant to say Hawaii had sold its soul to the devil - not Haiti

WASHINGTON: Something has happened in the 'name of Christianity' in America. It has brought the mentally ill and psychologically disturbed demons to the limelight. In fact, American atheists are saying - IF - one truly believed in the existenc...

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Pat Robertson To Replace Simon Cowell on "American Idol"!

(Los Angeles-CA) An insider has revealed to me that "American Idol", may be considering "700 Club" founder evangelist Pat Robertson to replace Simon Cowell. My informant claims the information came from an e-mail that was leaked by an "American Id...

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Pat Robertson Admits His Deal With Satan

Funny story: Pat Robertson Admits His Deal With Satan

Billionaire evangelist Pat Robertson admitted today that he made a deal with Satan for worldly success. "You ask how I know that the Haitians made a deal with the devil?" he said to his radio audience, "Well it's because the Devil Himself told me.

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Straight Talk with the Devil

Funny story: Straight Talk with the Devil

In the news today we find out where Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh find the source of their reports, yes that's right it's the Devil. Pat Robertson spilled the beans by reporting this himself. It seems the aging minister knows the Devil personal...

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Breaking news…

Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President

...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!
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