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Funny satire stories about Paralympics

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Heather Mills In Another Rage Incident, Gets Even With Tournament Official

Funny story: Heather Mills In Another Rage Incident, Gets Even With Tournament Official

Heather Mills, who told Paralympics official Sylvana Mestre "you don't know who I am, I will make your life miserable," just bought the mortgage company that holds the mortgage on Mestre's house and evicted her using alimony money from Paul McCartney...

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Lib Dems dream of Parelection Gold

Funny story: Lib Dems dream of Parelection Gold

In the wake of the inspirational Paralympics, Nick Clegg has called for a 'Parelection' following the next General Election, to provide a level playing field for politicians of all abilities. "It isn't fair that the same big parties win everything", Clegg said, with a sad face. Vince cable has begun training in anticipation, and is already tipped to win gold in the 'toe-curling dance' event.

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Coldplay Incite Mock Hatred

Funny story: Coldplay Incite Mock Hatred

As Coldplay performed at last nights Paralympic closing ceremony, opportunists seized on the fashionable trend of absolutely hating them, man. Fabricated musical snobbery was in full flow as pretend muso's bemoaned Coldplay's supposed lack of mus...

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The Para-Lytic Games opens in Glascow

Funny story: The Para-Lytic Games opens in Glascow

The games officially opened tonight as the torch bearer from the previous host city, Moscow, staggered down the stadium approach road, before raising the torch aloft, and setting fire to the rubbish bin on a nearby bus shelter. He then loudly declare...

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My 'You Had to be there' Moments' W/e 18th August

Funny story: My 'You Had to be there' Moments' W/e 18th August

Monday 13th Friend Jar Jar (nickname) tries to chat up Friend Sinbad (predictive text nickname) saying he was always attracted to her even when she was dating another friend. Not getting anywhere he asks what the 'NYC' on Sinbads jumper stands for. "NO YOU CANT" says I... Wednesday 15th Had my picture taken with the Paralympic Torch in Sainsbury (the Paralympic sponsors) at Earls Court . A pu...

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Final squad named for 2012 London Paralytics

Funny story: Final squad named for 2012 London Paralytics

With less than 60 days to go to the world's greatest sporting event, The London 2012 Paralytic Games, there were few surprises as Great Britain's final team was announced today. The squad was named at the official unveiling of their new training...

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Paralympic Rower Faces Illness Set Back In Gold Glory

Funny story: Paralympic Rower Faces Illness Set Back In Gold Glory

Jed Simpson, Britain's leading rower heading for the London 2012 Paralympics, has had his bid for gold put in jeopardy. The Sunderland born sportsman has contracted woodworm in his left leg. Simpson had noticed sawdust appearing in his bed over...

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Siamese Twins Demand Two Medals

Funny story: Siamese Twins Demand Two Medals

Dilly and Dally DeWeese, Bullet County's only pair of Siamese twins, who won the 100 meters final at the Regional Paralympics in Bridgeport this past weekend by a head, are demanding two medals, one each, however organizers say they have to share.

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Paralympics Swimming Death Shock

Funny story: Paralympics Swimming Death Shock

Today Paralympics chiefs have admitted that the Tibeten freestyle wheelchair swimming event turned into a disaster ending in the death of all seven disabled athletes. Unfortunately, due to no-one being able to hear the starter gun underwater, the...

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London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Committees Announce Torch Lighting Plans

Funny story: London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Committees Announce Torch Lighting Plans

In a daring move bound to spark criticism, the London Olympic Committee today announced its plans for the 2012 torch lighting ceremony. Building upon the explosive success and critical acclaim of the London 8 minute segment at the Beijing closing cer...

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Heroic Para Olympians

Team GB returned home to a tumultuous reception and were met at Heathrow Airport by Gordon Brownose! They came second in the Para Olympics with a Tally of 102 medals. China won first place with 211 medals. However what is not widely known is t...

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Paralympic Track Marshal To Be Charged With Jaywalking

Funny story: Paralympic Track Marshal To Be Charged With Jaywalking

The Chinese track marshal who nonchalantly walked onto the running track in the midst of the 5000m wheelchair race, and was nearly flattened, has been charged with Jaywalking, it has emerged. Phu Kin Nut casually ambled through a maelstrom of spee...

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Heather Mills sues paralympics for not placing her in the final

Funny story: Heather Mills sues paralympics for not placing her in the final

Even before the end of the Beijing paralympics, Heather Mills has been fired! The former model and ex-wife of Sir Paul McCartney, was let go by the paralympic bosses due to a ridiculous clause she was demanding to be in her contract. Heather was a...

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Paralympics Chaos: Witnesses Sought After Horrific Pile-up

Funny story: Paralympics Chaos: Witnesses Sought After Horrific Pile-up

There was chaos at the Beijing Paralympics yesterday, when, during the 5000m wheelchair extravaganza, several chariots collided with each other and other vehicles, causing a pile-up of gargantuan proportions. Edith Hunkeler, of Switzerland, caused...

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Pulling the Cloud over our eyes

Now, as half the world begins to watch the 13th Paralympic Games in Beijing, the other half remains on the sofa still digesting its glorious meal that was the 2008 Beijing Olympic games. What a meal it was too we were treated to a great starter, a fantastic main and a sumptuous desert, all served up in the fantastic birds nest stadium. We can now only wait with baited breathe before our next O...

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Paralympics competitors face hurdles

Funny story: Paralympics competitors face hurdles

The 13th Paralympics got underway in Beijing today with all the glitz and glamour of the main summer games. There was disquiet amongst some of the competitors though as it would appear the designers of the Birds Nest stadium had omitted to install wh...

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Paralympics To Be As Big As Olympics - But More Scary!

Funny story: Paralympics To Be As Big As Olympics - But More Scary!

After the sensational spectacle of the Beijing Olympic Games, now comes the Paralympics on Saturday, and the organisers are saying they expect them to be every bit as good as the main Games, and a damned sight more uncomfortable for those who are a b...

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China Plans To Euthanize Paralympic Athletes

Funny story: China Plans To Euthanize Paralympic Athletes

It was revealed today that China plans to euthanize all of the athletes at the conclusion of the Paralympics. These games, which traditionally follow shortly after the standard Olympics, are for handicapped athletes and include standard events in wh...

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