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Donald Trump Abducted by ISISHis captors have reportedly strapped him to a chair, Clockwork Orange style, and are forcing him to watch Speedy Gonzales, Machete, and Cheech & Chong, until he volunteers to cut his own throat.
Presidential CredentialsDonald Trump wants to build a wall around the Mets. He'd make the Wilpons pay for it.
SingularityThe revolution will be decided by AutoCorrect.
Hillary Clinton Sufffers Concussion from a BalloonHillary Clinton suffered a concussion after her DNC convention speech when a red balloon hit her head. Sources state that even with a concussion she is still smarter than Donald Trump.
New Libertarian Slogan: Feel The JohnsonJust don't feel the Johnson burn.
Trump Copies Hillary's SloganHillary: Together!
Hillary Copies Trump's SloganTrump: Mourning in America.
Hillary: Morning in America!
North Korea's Kim Jong Un Wants the US to Take Him SeriouslKim Jong-Un said today that if the US won't treat him like an adult then they are all poo-poo heads!
Democratic Party to Copyright "and" ,"if", "but" etc.Copyright attorney Avrahim Goldfisch has announced that, on behalf of the U.S. Democrats, he was applying to copyright hundreds of common words, in an effort to curb plagiarism by U.S. Republicans.
Trump Promises to Bring Back Popular "Law & Order" SeriesUpset by canceling of original "L&O" Trump repeatedly promises at Convention to bring back the popular TV series at 10 pm E.S.T. day after taking office."What did you think he meant?" campaign asks.
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