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Funny story: Red Panda Explains Timeout from the National Zoo

Red Panda Explains Timeout from the National Zoo

On Monday morning when Rusty, the red panda (he looks sort of like a raccoon) was reported missing, many assumed that he was displeased with his accommodations at the National Zoo in Wash., DC. Not so. To counteract the incorrect assumption, once Rusty was returned to the zoo later in the day, he contacted a reporter at TheSpoof.com, Gail Farrelly (she's an expert in panda parlance), to...
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Funny story: Pandas vanish - Chinese don't know where

Pandas vanish - Chinese don't know where

There is a vast mystery taking place right now in South Western China. The giant pandas have disappeared. The small breeding colony in Szechuan, which was being carefully observed by UN scientists, is no more. French biologist Pierre Blackpool not...
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Funny story: Chris Brown in trouble over Panda Comments

Chris Brown in trouble over Panda Comments

Chris Brown shared a photo of himself posing with a Panda on his Twitter feed on Sunday. Members to 'Team Breezy' thought the image was cute but some women's groups have criticized the image as well as the caption which read 'Cutest looking woman I'v...
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Funny story: Zoo pandas refuse to shag without Marriage of Figaro 'or Cosy Fanny Totty'

Zoo pandas refuse to shag without Marriage of Figaro 'or Cosy Fanny Totty'

Edinburgh - Keepers at Edinburgh Zoo's panda house are to play recordings of Mozart operas to put Yang Guang and Tian Tian in the mood for a Passion Week shag. According to years of Chinese breeding experience classical music has a strong affect o...
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Funny story: Badger Cull Blamed on Panda

Badger Cull Blamed on Panda

A Dorking vet called Barry Badger was arrested yesterday following the suspicious death of Mrs Gertie Grimbottom, 67, of Dorking. Mrs Grimbottom was taken to the vet by her grandson Herbert, 11, who asked to have her put down. Badger initially ref...
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Funny story: More Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh

More Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh

A shock report has announced today that research has shown that there are now more Pandas than thin people in Edinburgh. As Tian Tian the panda eats her panda cake in her enclosure at Edinburgh Zoo on Christmas Day academics have made it clear that t...
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Funny story: Chinese Giant Panda Shock

Chinese Giant Panda Shock

The Pandas, exported from China to Scotland on a trial marriage, have shocked their zoo keepers by saying they do want any 'hanky panky' because everyone is watching them. Zoo keeper Angus McTavish feared the experiment in getting the Pandas to ma...
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Funny story: China denies that The Pandas are Spies

China denies that The Pandas are Spies

Chinese Premier Hu Jintao has vehemently denied that the two Pandas being lent to Japan as a good will gesture will bring up the Senkaku Islands which are disputed between the two ancient civilisations. Premier Hu reiterated while boarding his bud...
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Funny story: Heidi the crosseyed opossum star of Leipzig Zoo

Heidi the crosseyed opossum star of Leipzig Zoo

Born in the USA and via Denmark, Heidi has become an Internet sensation. She's crosseyed and an Opossum but will give those Giant Pandas, destined for Edinburgh Zoo a good run in the popularity stakes. heidi She's so cute and endearing, she might even be as big a star as Knut, the polar bear or Paul the Octopus. Perhaps Heidi will pick the winners of future World Cup, or will her eyes deceiv...
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Funny story: Blackburn Rovers frustrated at missing out on panda signing

Blackburn Rovers frustrated at missing out on panda signing

Blackburn Rovers Venky group owners have expressed frustration at losing out in their pursuit of a giant panda who shunned the advances of the Lancashire club in favour of a move to minnows Edinburgh Zoo. The club had hoped to make Yangguang their...
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Funny story: China hoaxes Edinburgh Zoo with two men in black and white furry panda suits

China hoaxes Edinburgh Zoo with two men in black and white furry panda suits

Scotland - (Pandering To Them): Panda Diplomacy took a new twist today with the donation to Edinburgh Zoo of 'two breeding Chinese males' dressed in fluffy panda suits. The outfits are identical to those worn by keepers in Shendong Panda Reserve's...
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Funny story: Chinese panda-bear moves to Scotland because she loves bagpipe music!

Chinese panda-bear moves to Scotland because she loves bagpipe music!

China has released the news that one of their precious panda-bears, Tian Tian, is to be moved to a Zoo in Scotland. The reason for this astonishing move is that Tian Tian only gets "turned on" when she hears bagpipes playing. It seems that Scottis...
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Funny story: New Forest Lapland park owners 'could have made £1m'

New Forest Lapland park owners 'could have made £1m'

A Lapland park in the New Forest promised a winter wonderland but visitors instead found fairy lights strewn across trees and a broken ice rink, a court has heard. Brothers Victor Mears, 67, and Henry Mears, 60, deny misleading thousands of customers...
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Funny story: Panda female bears only get "hot" 72 hours a year, many human housewives have the same problem!

Panda female bears only get "hot" 72 hours a year, many human housewives have the same problem!

The Panda bear is one of the most adored animals on the planet, unfortunately they have one problem, reproduction? It seems that female Panda's only get "hot" 72 hours in the year and during this period their male partners are either too busy devo...
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Funny story: Breakthrough in giant panda breeding

Breakthrough in giant panda breeding

A critical breakthrough has been made in efforts to save the giant panda, one that could kick-start attempts to reintroduce the animals to the wild. For many years, people have tried to get giant pandas to breed in captivity, but with little succe...
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Funny story: Lin Ping (Linping?) The Thai Panda Picks Nose And Eats It

Lin Ping (Linping?) The Thai Panda Picks Nose And Eats It

Lin Ping, the baby panda cub born and housed in Chiang Mai Zoo, Thailand in May 2009, has stunned audiences here with her most daring escapade yet - she picked her nose, and ate it! Ping, 1, performed the cavalier act whilst being filmed for her o...
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Funny story: Panda Charged With Child Neglect

Panda Charged With Child Neglect

After giving birth to twins, a panda named Boing-Boing was arrested and charged with neglect after she accidentally crushed one of them to death, zoo officials confirmed today. (In light of the fact that Boing-Boing has threatened legal action, we...
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Funny story: Panda for Points

Panda for Points

Several petrol stations across the UK have introduced a new scheme, which has the full backing of the World Wildlife Fund. Every time customers fill up on the forecourts they will be allocated WWF points. When sufficient points are gathered, the m...
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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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