Fresno, California - In a shocking confession that has rocked the frozen food section and processed meat aisle of the supermarket industry, the Jolly Green Giant's wife dropped a bombshell today when she announced that her husband is not the father o...
Washington, D.C. - Today the National Organization of Women (NOW) joined forces with the organization of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) in voicing their dissension, demanding that the Wienermobile be laid to rest with Oscar G.
Inglewood, California - Just moments after hearing the news of Oscar Mayer's death, Juan Rodriguez, a distraught employee at the Oscar Mayer Food Processing plant number 3 in Inglewood, California, stole the company's Oscar Mayer Weinermobile, taking...
Los Angeles, California - "He'd always be in here harassing the customers by trying to get them to order a baloney sub sandwich. But they'd always refuse," said Paul Gonzales, franchise deli manager. "They'd tell to his face: 'Look mister,' they'd sa...
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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