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Funny satire stories about Old Age

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So old and gaga there's mothballs up her fanny

Funny story: So old and gaga there's mothballs up her fanny

London - "In addition to destroying insects such as moths and silverfish," the Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon explained, "royal mothballs make useful stovepipe cleaners and snake repellants." The remarks come amid reports that Britain's Queen...

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Pensioner Gunned Down in London

Funny story: Pensioner Gunned Down in London

Paddy O'Flynn had had enough it seems. He had decided to apply to his local housing authority for help with his rent having vacated his old house and moved into a rented apartment in Clapham Common, South London. That is where his troubles began. His wife Caitlin takes up the story. "They sent him a form to fill in. It was thick as the London Times. For three months he tried to figure it o...

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Jimmy Fallon Revealed To Be In Mid-Fifties

Funny story: Jimmy Fallon Revealed To Be In Mid-Fifties

Last night, Jimmy Fallon made a joke that totally bombed. He was booed, during his monologue, when Fallon talked about the possible gender of Chelsea Clinton's baby. "If it's a girl, it will get some of Chelsea's old hand-me-downs. And if it's a...

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Weak End At Bernies Movies For 24 Hours

Funny story: Weak End At Bernies Movies For 24 Hours

My grandfather was over spending the weekend at my college as I had an extra room and the rest of the family told me it was my time. Gramps is not a bad old guy, just a little senile but mostly lonesome as all his old friends are dead. "Grandpa, there's a 'Weekend At Bernies' marathon on this weekend. I need to go out and do some stuff, I'll get it started for you. If you get tired, turn it...

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Putin Bans Colbert Show Punishes Viewers of Pussy Riot

Funny story: Putin Bans Colbert Show Punishes Viewers of Pussy Riot

Two of the Pussy Riot Russian punk band were hilarious on the Stephen Colbert show 2 nights ago. They poked fun at virtual dictator, Valdimir Putin and made his athletic exploits, which display his aging body, look absurd. The Pussy Riot members wer...

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Justin Bieber Had Invisible Childhood Friend

Funny story: Justin Bieber Had Invisible Childhood Friend

Justin Bieber told reporters yesterday that he knew he was going to be kidded a lot but that was OK. "Like most kids I had this childhood friend that only I could see and his name was Tidy Little!" This brought a hearty laugh from the crowd but...

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Old Farts Start Their Own "Tea Party"!

Funny story: Old Farts Start Their Own "Tea Party"!

Washington: Several older gentlemen have registered their own political party today that will compete with the Democrats and Republicans in 2016! "We're sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and (Slap on the back) being blamed for a...

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Much Younger Man Expected To Be Chosen To Become Next Pope!

Funny story: Much Younger Man Expected To Be Chosen To Become Next Pope!

This morning's announcement from the Vatican that 85 year old Pope Benedict XV1 is to stand down as leader of the Catholic church due to advancing years seems almost certain to mean the choice of a much younger replacement. Pope Benedict XV1's dec...

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"Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people!"---Wayne LaPierre

Wayne LaPierre, head of the NRA, held a press conference this morning to make a major announcement. His Face flushed and obviously excited, he gripped a sheaf of papers and took the podium. He began: "Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people...

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Britain's Oldest Woman in fear of her life

Funny story: Britain's Oldest Woman in fear of her life

Emily Harrison, Britain's oldest woman has contacted police, afraid for her life. "She believes that Maggie Davies of Kings Close in Dorking is gunning for her, in order to take the title of oldest woman in Britain for herself," said Detective Ins...

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My life as a man #12

Funny story: My life as a man #12

Honey-Do Lists and Female Barbers I'm telling you all right now, and you can look it up here on my writer's profile: My turn-ons do not include crawling on my belly through damp, bushy, dark places with deep, wet holes.... OK, OK, I'll reconsider that. I do not like crawling under the goddamned house to change air conditioner filters. I'm retired; I make enough money to pay some out-a-wor...

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Russia's Putin still as "Studly" as ever at 60

Funny story: Russia's Putin still as "Studly" as ever at 60

MOSCOW (ABSNN) - Vladimir Putin may be getting along in years, but he "is still as studly as ever," he said in an interview with geriatric reporter, Martin Shuttlecock. "He's but a lad, a mere slip of a boy," Shuttlecock wrote. "Vital, I'm vita...

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UK's Last Mackeson Well Runs Dry

Funny story: UK's Last Mackeson Well Runs Dry

Britain's last remaining Mackeson well, located in Stepney, East London has finally run dry after 105 years of production. Mackeson, a sweet milk stout, is probably best known for the TV catchphrase: 'It looks good. It tastes good. And by golly it...

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Junkies target the over sixties

Funny story: Junkies target the over sixties

Police have asked the aged and generally over sixties to improve security on their homes after a spate of burglaries have targeted this vulnerable section of society. "Now that pharmacies have stupendous security," said Police Inspector Gadget, "d...

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Rural people live longer and love longer

People who live in the country are living longer than urban dwellers - and have better sex lives, according to researchers who investigate rumours. The Wildlife Society believes that it's the greener life that delivers these benefits, but country...

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Advice, Support & Tips for those entering old age - from Bartholomew Utterwaithe

Funny story: Advice, Support & Tips for those entering old age - from Bartholomew Utterwaithe

This article, was designed by Bartholomew Utterwaithe (66), to offer help, support, succour and advice to those of the population who are entering their 60's - in an effort to lessen the culture-shock suffered by many, when they also get made redundant at 62 years of age, then suffer heart failure. It is not intended as a solution for the those who are about to lose their concentration, bladder...

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62-Year-Old Bachelor Decides to Date Only Age-Appropriate Women in Their 30s

Funny story: 62-Year-Old Bachelor Decides to Date Only Age-Appropriate Women in Their 30s

After several failed relationships with women in their early to mid-twenties, 62-year-old* bachelor Nick Candlewood decided to date only age-appropriate women in their thirties. "There are some very smart, mature 25-year-olds out there," remarks N...

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You're Older Than You've Ever Been

Funny story: You're Older Than You've Ever Been

I'm feeling old lately. Not the kind of old Bill Cosby used to schlep about in his stand-up routine, lamenting the inevitable forgetfulness that comes with age, like the panic you feel when you've forgotten who you're calling before the intended party has answered the phone. It's more an ever-growing sense that there is a chasm that's widening between myself and the past. It first hit me while lis...

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Breaking news…

New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"
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