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Funny story: BP's "Global Cooling Machine" Enables Consumers to Think Globally, Cool Locally

BP's "Global Cooling Machine" Enables Consumers to Think Globally, Cool Locally

Oil company British Petroleum, whose corporate reputation has suffered since the environmentally devastating 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill, recently announced the launch of a groundbreaking new product: the global cooling machine or "GCM," designe...
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Funny story: BP Celebrates Earth Day and Positive Change (of the Climate Variety)

BP Celebrates Earth Day and Positive Change (of the Climate Variety)

This Earth Day, British Petroleum took the opportunity to celebrate the oil company's significant environmental progress. "We feel good about all BP has done to effect positive change," announced Group Chief Executive Bob Dudley. "Of the climate vari...
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Funny story: Louisiana Oil Company Makes An Unbelievable Discovery In The Gulf of Mexico

Louisiana Oil Company Makes An Unbelievable Discovery In The Gulf of Mexico

NEW ORLEANS - Representatives for the Louisiana based Blue Bayou Oil Company have just informed the news media of an amazing discovery. Arden Woodbush, III, spokesperson for The BBOC said that company geologists are reporting that the oil company...
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Funny story: Queen dumps deep fat fryer oil into Thames at Windsor

Queen dumps deep fat fryer oil into Thames at Windsor

Berks - "This time she's really had her chips," an Environment Agency inspector said today as a clean-up of the River Thames began following the dumping of millions of gallons of crude chip oil from Windsor Castle kitchens. Hundred of swans, ducks...
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Funny story: Iran Announces: Here Comes The Grandmother of All Oil Spills

Iran Announces: Here Comes The Grandmother of All Oil Spills

TEHRAN, Iran - A highly personal in-house memorandum between Iran's Ayatollah Abdul Musaweewee Abacus, 67, to Ayatollah Ali Mohammad Open-Sesame, Jr., 71, has been intercepted by CIA operatives and forwarded to President Obama via FedEx. The extre...
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Funny story: Windsor Castle oil spill 'part of Chevron Ecuador pollution scam'

Windsor Castle oil spill 'part of Chevron Ecuador pollution scam'

Windsor, Berks - An oil leak close to a newly installed River Thames hydro power turbine near Windsor Castle has been blamed by Amazonbotch supporters on US super major Chevron. Thousands of gallons of sweet light crude have been reported gushing...
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Funny story: Oil Companies Creating Special Packaging for $5-a-Gallon Gas

Oil Companies Creating Special Packaging for $5-a-Gallon Gas

Houston, Texas -- As gasoline prices ratchet up past the $4-a-gallon mark, the oil industry is preparing a more luxurious way to present its increasingly costly product to consumers. "Think expensive fragrances, top-shelf liquor and premium cosmet...
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Funny story: Shell gives Dyson contract to suck up its mess in Nigeria!

Shell gives Dyson contract to suck up its mess in Nigeria!

Oil giant Shell (they're Dutch by the way) has openly admitted that they spilt more oil in Nigeria than there is water in Lake Titicaca and have offered bagless vacuum cleaner giant, Dyson, the job of sucking the place dry. Dyson are developing gi...
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Funny story: Looking for World Recognition, Kazakhstan hires BP to Drill them: "A Really big Oil Spill"

Looking for World Recognition, Kazakhstan hires BP to Drill them: "A Really big Oil Spill"

The president of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazasomething, a name that no one has a clue how to pronounce, more or less spell; has announced that they have hired British Petroleum (BP) to drill in the Caspian Sea, just off the coast of Kazakhstan, to crea...
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Funny story: Oil Industry Aplauds Fukushima Dai-ichi

Oil Industry Aplauds Fukushima Dai-ichi

In the midst of Japan's worst tragedy of modern times, the oil industry will release a statement and several ad spots in an attempt to throw the focus of oils spills off, hoping to relieve tensions amid higher gas prices. The ad campaign, "At lea...
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Funny story: More woe for Kevin Costner as lawsuit alleges 'Waterworld prophecy' invention share scam

More woe for Kevin Costner as lawsuit alleges 'Waterworld prophecy' invention share scam

New Orleans - (Crude Business): Last month the Field of Dreams actor was dragged in to a sleazy Brit peer-smear tart's Sunday Smoke 'N' Mirrors sex rant. This week Kevin Costner faces The Usual Suspects star Stephen Baldwin in the New Orleans fede...
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Funny story: BP announces new sport "Well Capping"

BP announces new sport "Well Capping"

BP announced today that this spring they will be sponsoring a new sport. They call it "Well Capping." Officials from the companies marketing department claim that this is a twenty first century sport. "All the fun of water polo, mixed with all the da...
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Funny story: BP now claiming positive impact from oil spill

BP now claiming positive impact from oil spill

A representative from BP held a press conference today and announced that a new study commissioned last month indicates that the oil spill resulting from the deep-water horizon disaster may have a long-term positive impact on the environment. "Th...
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Funny story: BP executive gets his life back

BP executive gets his life back

Following the Deepwater Oil spill a British Petroleum executive made worldwide headlines when he commented that he just wanted to get his life back We tracked him down to see how he is getting on "I had a terrible time in the colonies, all tho...
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Funny story: Obama Helpless to "Plug that 'Ho" as Pelosi Popularity Oozes to New Low: Matches BP's in States!

Obama Helpless to "Plug that 'Ho" as Pelosi Popularity Oozes to New Low: Matches BP's in States!

As the November mid term Tsunami threatens to swamp the Democratic agenda, President Obama has a new crisis of epic proportions on his hands; House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has suffered a startling implosion causing her popularity to sink to the level of...
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Funny story: BP: Catastrophy Averted, Oil in Gulf was Actually Chocolate!

BP: Catastrophy Averted, Oil in Gulf was Actually Chocolate!

BP announced a study today that the oil spill into the Gulf of Mexico, was actually Dark Chocolate, not crude oil. Today as retiring CEO Tony Hayward spoke to a Parliament committee concerned about the North Sea. "There is absolutely, no reason to...
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Funny story: Delay in Raising BP Blowhard Preventer

Delay in Raising BP Blowhard Preventer

Gulf of Mexico - (UpStream Mess): Cruise met delays on Saturday during a delay to hoisting the 10-ton blowhard preventer that failed to avert disaster headlines from spewing out of the Gulf of Mexico. Orders from on high not to damage or drop a v...
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Funny story: Oil-Eating Microbe Attacking Swimmers

Oil-Eating Microbe Attacking Swimmers

Scientists have discovered a new oil-eating microbe in the Gulf of Mexico that seems to be flourishing. It appears to be gobbling up oil in the Gulf at a surprising rate and yet not depleting the water body's oxygen level. They are saying it is nothi...
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Breaking News...

Teachers sentenced for sex with students

A former female high school teacher received six months in jail for having sex with a male student, while a male teacher at the same school received a six-year sentence for bedding a coed pupil.

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