TEHRAN, Iran - A highly personal in-house memorandum between Iran's Ayatollah Abdul Musaweewee Abacus, 67, to Ayatollah Ali Mohammad Open-Sesame, Jr., 71, has been intercepted by CIA operatives and forwarded to President Obama via FedEx.
The extre...
Windsor, Berks - An oil leak close to a newly installed River Thames hydro power turbine near Windsor Castle has been blamed by Amazonbotch supporters on US super major Chevron.
Thousands of gallons of sweet light crude have been reported gushing...
Houston, Texas -- As gasoline prices ratchet up past the $4-a-gallon mark, the oil industry is preparing a more luxurious way to present its increasingly costly product to consumers.
"Think expensive fragrances, top-shelf liquor and premium cosmet...
Oil giant Shell (they're Dutch by the way) has openly admitted that they spilt more oil in Nigeria than there is water in Lake Titicaca and have offered bagless vacuum cleaner giant, Dyson, the job of sucking the place dry.
Dyson are developing gi...
The president of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazasomething, a name that no one has a clue how to pronounce, more or less spell; has announced that they have hired British Petroleum (BP) to drill in the Caspian Sea, just off the coast of Kazakhstan, to crea...
In the midst of Japan's worst tragedy of modern times, the oil industry will release a statement and several ad spots in an attempt to throw the focus of oils spills off, hoping to relieve tensions amid higher gas prices.
The ad campaign, "At lea...
New Orleans - (Crude Business): Last month the Field of Dreams actor was dragged in to a sleazy Brit peer-smear tart's Sunday Smoke 'N' Mirrors sex rant.
This week Kevin Costner faces The Usual Suspects star Stephen Baldwin in the New Orleans fede...
BP announced today that this spring they will be sponsoring a new sport. They call it "Well Capping." Officials from the companies marketing department claim that this is a twenty first century sport. "All the fun of water polo, mixed with all the da...
A representative from BP held a press conference today and announced that a new study commissioned last month indicates that the oil spill resulting from the deep-water horizon disaster may have a long-term positive impact on the environment.
"Th...
Following the Deepwater Oil spill a British Petroleum executive made worldwide headlines when he commented that he just wanted to get his life back
We tracked him down to see how he is getting on
"I had a terrible time in the colonies, all tho...
As the November mid term Tsunami threatens to swamp the Democratic agenda, President Obama has a new crisis of epic proportions on his hands; House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has suffered a startling implosion causing her popularity to sink to the level of...
BP announced a study today that the oil spill into the Gulf of Mexico, was actually Dark Chocolate, not crude oil. Today as retiring CEO Tony Hayward spoke to a Parliament committee concerned about the North Sea.
"There is absolutely, no reason to...
Gulf of Mexico - (UpStream Mess): Cruise met delays on Saturday during a delay to hoisting the 10-ton blowhard preventer that failed to avert disaster headlines from spewing out of the Gulf of Mexico.
Orders from on high not to damage or drop a v...
Scientists have discovered a new oil-eating microbe in the Gulf of Mexico that seems to be flourishing. It appears to be gobbling up oil in the Gulf at a surprising rate and yet not depleting the water body's oxygen level. They are saying it is nothi...
La Douche, LA--Retired Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen, the federal government's point man in the Gulf, said Monday that attempts to permanently seal the Deepwater Horizon well won't start until the latest potential problem is evaluated. Allen said en...
PANAMA CITY, Florida - President Obama, the "First Mama" Michelle, and one of the "First Kiddoes" Sasha were vacationing in the Florida panhandle town of Panama City.
The president wanted to show that the Gulf of Mexico is safe to swim in. So he h...
A very humble Diane Sawyer apologized on the ABC Evening News last night that all their features about the oil spill were exaggerated a bit.
"For instance", stated Sawyer, "it was never the size of Eurasia! We only guessed at that. But it was cert...
In a joint statement issued today, Admiral Thad Allen and a representative of BP Oil announced that the Gulf Oil spill was not only over but the environmental impact from it had been totally eliminated!
A stunned press corps shouted questions at t...