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Animal Farm, Part 9: The Pipeline

Funny story: Animal Farm, Part 9: The Pipeline

Marksy - along with all the other horses - had no idea what "subsistence" meant, but they were told by Murdoch that they could look it up if they needed to. They didn't know how or where to look things up, so Murdoch told them the "truth," as he put it, telling the horses it meant "just enough to survive" for right now. The Boar also told the horses that it was just temporary, and that once the...

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Trump To Get Convoy Of Supertankers For Iraq Oil

Funny story: Trump To Get Convoy Of Supertankers For Iraq Oil

At the debate yesterday, September 7, on MSNBC, Donald Trump said we should take all of the oil out of Iraq and bring it to America. He complained that America spent $3 trillion, we lost thousands and thousands of lives, "And then what happens is,...

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"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier": A Look at George W. Bush On The Eve Of His 70th Birthday

Funny story: "A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier": A Look at George W. Bush On The Eve Of His 70th Birthday

Almost born on the day that our beloved country was born (July 4), George Walker Bush, son of former president and vice president George Herbert Walker Bush and brother to former governor of Florida Jeb Bush, will turn 70 this July 6th. It is fitting that his birthday falls within such an auspicious range of dates since he, and his vaunted political family, has been so integral in the formati...

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Trump Unveils Foreign Policy Position: Bomb Mexico And Take Their Oil

Funny story: Trump Unveils Foreign Policy Position: Bomb Mexico And Take Their Oil

After enduring criticism for a lack of depth in foreign policy knowledge, Donald Trump has released a plan to bomb Mexico and seize their oil production facilities. Trump spoke tuesday with CNN's Anderson Cooper about the details. "I'm going t...

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White House Song and Dance Ensemble to perform the "Turkey is no turkey!" ballet at Christmas festivities

Funny story: White House Song and Dance Ensemble to perform the "Turkey is no turkey!" ballet at Christmas festivities

Reports are emerging that Mr. Obama has been busy in his off hours in White House recreation rooms producing and directing the "Turkey is no turkey!" Christmas ballet. The upcoming ballet is designed for conviviality, joy, getting White House duck...

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Climate changing denier deny deniers

In a startling turn about "Slick" Jim Mason, CEO of Exxon announced that he has seen the light and is reversing his opinion on climate change. "I think," Mason said, "fossil fuels does cause global warmin' and climate change." Jim took off his cow...

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Costs-Benefits Luncheon on Capitol Hill... Obama.

Funny story: Costs-Benefits Luncheon on Capitol Hill... Obama.

Yesterday, President Obama looking resplendent in tux and bow delivered the following address to a select group of financial experts, bankers and Congressmen at a luncheon held at Capitol Hill Washington. Here is part of his address. "Seven thous...

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Oil dips below $50

Funny story: Oil dips below $50

California - A kilo of Sonoma County Best macrobiotic organic lactose-free olive oil salad dressing has nudged $49.99 for the first time since the OPEC crudites crisis of '99. In brisk trading on the Nasduck Monday the price of restaurant-grade av...

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Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Funny story: Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Hole in the Wall Street, Moscow - Usury is thriving once again in Moscow's financial district with payday lenders shamelessly jacking up their base rates as a surge of cash-strapped oligarchs comes a-begging following a plunge on the global price of...

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Windfall Tax On Scots After They Are Tricked Into Revealing Scotland's Assets

Funny story: Windfall Tax On Scots After They Are Tricked Into Revealing Scotland's Assets

Chancellor Georgie MacOsbourne was today jubilant after accountants totted up Scotland's declared wealth. An immediate windfall tax has been approved of £100 per year per Scottish person. The normally canny and some say downright mean Scottish peo...

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Homeless Man Strikes Oil, Dave Cameron Provides Immediate Humanitarian Assistance

Funny story: Homeless Man Strikes Oil, Dave Cameron Provides Immediate Humanitarian Assistance

Liverpool, A homeless man forced to dig for a better way of life struck oil yesterday. Joe Murphy (50) originally from Bootle but homeless for the last 5 years due to devastating Tory cuts in welfare and unemployment assistance will now receive round...

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Fuel stolen from pipeline under the West Wing

Funny story: Fuel stolen from pipeline under the West Wing

Washington DC - The Secret Service has discovered $20m of fuel is missing from a pipeline running under the West Wing, part of the Biden-Keystone** strategic reserve. A probe into its upstream reservoir feed this weekend found clear signs of tamp...

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Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

Funny story: Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

The British Falkland Islands are now the new owners of all Argentina's Government bonds, infrastructure shares, mining and commodity stock after an anticipated IMF approved rescue plan was implemented at 6.00 hrs this morning. The move is expected t...

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Crude will rocket to $150 a barrel as Iranian 'peacekeepers' help Iraq

Funny story: Crude will rocket to $150 a barrel as Iranian 'peacekeepers' help Iraq

Washington - Iran's Ayatollahs are offering to pour oil on troubled waters by sending a 100,000-strong pisskeeping farce to neighboring Iraq. A lot of Russian-sourced hardware like ground-to-air missal launchers and photon torpedoes are also thoug...

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Oil, Gas Pipeliners Said To Be Shaolin Monks; 'Snatch The Pebble From My Hand A#&Hole'

BOW TO YOUR SENSEI, MARSHALL COUNTY, WV -- A local law enforcement official has confirmed what many have feared about transient oil and gas pipeliners -- they are actually a more aggressive rogue sect of 19th century Shaolin monks who like to initiat...

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BP's "Global Cooling Machine" Enables Consumers to Think Globally, Cool Locally

Funny story: BP's "Global Cooling Machine" Enables Consumers to Think Globally, Cool Locally

Oil company British Petroleum, whose corporate reputation has suffered since the environmentally devastating 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill, recently announced the launch of a groundbreaking new product: the global cooling machine or "GCM," designe...

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Norwegian Sea Oil Slick Could Wipe Out 27 Million Sardines

Funny story: Norwegian Sea Oil Slick Could Wipe Out 27 Million Sardines

KRISTIANSUND, Norway - Norway's national news agency The Fjord has just issued a statement regarding the gigantic oil spill from the Laotian oil tanker The Laotian Rice. The Laotian Rice hit an iceberg and sunk spilling its cargo of 2.1 million ga...

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Louisiana Oil Company Makes An Unbelievable Discovery In The Gulf of Mexico

Funny story: Louisiana Oil Company Makes An Unbelievable Discovery In The Gulf of Mexico

NEW ORLEANS - Representatives for the Louisiana based Blue Bayou Oil Company have just informed the news media of an amazing discovery. Arden Woodbush, III, spokesperson for The BBOC said that company geologists are reporting that the oil company...

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