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New England Patriots accused of replacing Indianapolis Colts with a deflated teamThat would explain a lot.
Irish youth can't afford property, mass EmigrationBut, sure, 'tis grand, we lead Europe in Child Obesity, Alcoholism and Suicide, says Leader...Ya'll never beat the Irish!
Obama cuts short India trip and beheads to Saudi after death of King AbdullahCorrection! And HEADS to Saudi after death of the King.....phew.
Obama Wraps Up State of the Union Speech on SkypePresident Obama wrapped up his State of the Union speech by Skyping with porn-star, Buster Hymen.
You Got A FriendPlease do not send James Taylor to Saudi Arabia to sing You Got A Friend at King Abdullah's funeral. Also, nix the idea when King Salman bin Abdul-Al Saud takes the throne.
Captain America test postive for PEDsWhen asked how he managed to gain 75 pounds of pure muscle and 5 inches of height in two days, he responded, "Uhh..balanced diet and rest?"
MI5 agents will testify in disguise at NY terror trialMostly Richard Nixon masks, Anna Nicole Smith-type breasts and Kim Kardashian butts...
King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia is dead at 90Doctors say he died of Wahabbist complications and a Jack Daniels diet.
Sick Toad operator gave cash, vacations to celebrate '420' court hearsAbsolutely nothing to do with the notorious Silk Road dope peddling website, Your Honor. Completely different case.
Giant asteroid to zip past earth this weekendYeah, I know, probably cause mayhem in Aquarians' astrology charts - but then that's The Cosmos for you.
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