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Funny story: Pessimistic Beverage Packaging Company Begins Manufacturing Aluminum "Can'ts"

Pessimistic Beverage Packaging Company Begins Manufacturing Aluminum "Can'ts"

No longer willing to ignore the stark reality of environmental degradation, global poverty, and deteriorating human health, pessimistic beverage packing company Canned Dreams, Inc., recently announced the launch of a new product line, known as the al...
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Funny story: Man deemed too fat to wank gets relief from NHS

Man deemed too fat to wank gets relief from NHS

Bernard Buttspike, 44, is arguably the UK's fattest man at a gut-busting 71 stone. Bernard, who has never had a job and who is estimated to have received over half a million pounds in benefits over the last 25 years, has long claimed that he is 't...
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Funny story: Chris Christie Foundation Recommends Closing the income gap for fat people

Chris Christie Foundation Recommends Closing the income gap for fat people

TRENTON, NJ - The spokesman for The Chris Christie Foundation, Betha Buhderbahl, announced that the foundation will take on a troubling, weighty issue when it comes to the income gap between healthy people and the obese. Obese people make 72 cents...
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Funny story: Thin Women File Discrimination Charges Against Walmart - Say They favor Fatsos!

Thin Women File Discrimination Charges Against Walmart - Say They favor Fatsos!

US attorney Moishe Pipick announced today in Washington;"These aggrieved thin women have shown initial evidence supporting their claims that Walmart discriminates against them and all thin men and women in favor of hiring "fatsos!" What proof have...
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Funny story: Cameron comes up with yet another moronic policy!

Cameron comes up with yet another moronic policy!

CIA HQ in 10 Downing Street (Yes we have our reporters there too, the golden bogs are filthy!) reports! CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star political reporter, Cederic Upyourarse-Thraithwaite, reporting from below a bog seat and looking up Cameron's arse has just sent this mind-blowing report (If Cameron farts it really will be mind-blowing!) Brit PM, David Cameron, divulging his latest g...
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Funny story: Supermarket Shelves Containing Only Easter Eggs Are Cause Of Scunthorpe Obesity Pandemic

Supermarket Shelves Containing Only Easter Eggs Are Cause Of Scunthorpe Obesity Pandemic

Supermarkets in Scunthorpe have taken everything from their shelves, leaving only Easter eggs, according to our Northern correspondent. Hospital A&Es are bursting at the seams with chocolate gorged fatties according to NHS sources. Scunthorpe off...
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Funny story: Golden Rule of NOT Tumble Drying Expensive Shirts Broken

Golden Rule of NOT Tumble Drying Expensive Shirts Broken

The golden rule of NOT EVER tumble drying a Florida man's GOOD shirts has been broken and violated - resulting in two inches of material simply disappearing into thin air. The once comfortable white and blue designer label polo shirts which Dunc...
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Funny story: Obese Man Uses GPS To Find His Penis

Obese Man Uses GPS To Find His Penis

In a medical and technological first, doctors at Bueller University Hospital have implanted a GPS signaling device in the head of the penis of a severely obese man. The surgery was performed earlier this week. The man's name is being withheld in ord...
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Funny story: Modern Diets Lack Lard - New Survey Findings

Modern Diets Lack Lard - New Survey Findings

Once everywhere and now out of fashion, there are many good reasons to cook with lard. Does it feature in your kitchen? Nutritionists have done a startling u turn to recommend the incorporation of lard into all four meals per day according to the...
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Funny story: A healthy way to lose weight? Fat chance!

A healthy way to lose weight? Fat chance!

There was uproar last night when it was revealed that receipts from supermarkets are now to contain health warnings for the shopper if their choices are deemed to be unhealthy. There have been accusations that this is just the latest example of the n...
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Funny story: Tween Phenom the Next Tiger Woods of Competitive Eating?

Tween Phenom the Next Tiger Woods of Competitive Eating?

SPARTA, KY--Kyle Gustibus may not be a household name at this point, but if the young athlete keeps working out with his Munchables and WarmPockets, he may be the next Tiger Woods of competitive eating. The residents of Sparta, Kentucky have been...
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Funny story: UFO Sightings Up, Fat People Disappearing.

UFO Sightings Up, Fat People Disappearing.

Professor Montgomery of a Think Tank located in West Virginia rural area say that they have become alarmed at the both the sightings of UFOs in the sky and a growing list of missing fat people. "We now believe that the connection is that whoever i...
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Funny story: Cyril Smith Was Not Fat - B.M.A. Report Shocker

Cyril Smith Was Not Fat - B.M.A. Report Shocker

Quirky deceased Rochdale Liberal M.P. Cyril Smith was not fat according to a report commisioned by the Dead Politicians Research Committee. Investigations into his death reveal that he was simply not as tall as he should have been. Cyril should ha...
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Funny story: Obese Man Regrets Not Seeing His Naughty Bits, Huge Belly Buster Dive Into Ocean!

Obese Man Regrets Not Seeing His Naughty Bits, Huge Belly Buster Dive Into Ocean!

Sam Adkins of Chicago, Illinois loves to swim and goes to Florida on a regular basis so that he can swim in the ocean and even float on his hairy back. "In the ocean, my weight of 500 pounds feel so light, it's amazing. Also I don't even care if m...
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Funny story: The Overweight May Be Discriminated Against If Religion Based

The Overweight May Be Discriminated Against If Religion Based

Arizona lawmakers passed a bill Thursday that allows businesses in the state to deny service to LGBT customers on religious grounds. The bill has not been signed by Gov. Jan Brewer (R), who told reporters at the National Governors Association this we...
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Funny story: Pope Frankie the Argie has put on 50lbs since taking over the Vatican last year

Pope Frankie the Argie has put on 50lbs since taking over the Vatican last year

Rome - Quoting St Matthew 25:35-36 the new Pope said his sudden weight gain has indeed been of Biblical proportions after nuns from the Order of the Holy Obese Family began fattening him up a year ago to make sure he fit in his predecessor's hassocks...
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Funny story: Scientists Discover "Dumb-Ass Gene" Responsible For US' Problems

Scientists Discover "Dumb-Ass Gene" Responsible For US' Problems

Americans are largely apathetic as their country slides into third world status. The infrastructure is ready to collapse, 1 in 5 kids struggle with hunger, 18 to 32 % are in poverty (it's definitional), 40% of the national budget goes for past, pres...
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Funny story: Source of the Obesity Epidemic found

Source of the Obesity Epidemic found

After years of investigation, Scientists at Dyson's Research and Development labs in Sussex have isolated the single greatest cause of obesity in the western world. "It's the toaster," said Geoff Fry, head of the Single Slice Toaster Development T...
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Donald Trump fails to sign pledge not to run for King in 2016

Republican presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, announced Today that he has not signed a pledge not to run for King.
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