Arny Schwarzenegger, 65, has decided to "Terminate" for the last time hoping the public will forgive him for his broom cupboard misdemeanours, the fact that he's an OAP and wears more make up than Marilyn Manson!
His latest blockbusting "terminati...
Scientists have discovered an 86 year old Russian hag called, Volga Olga, deep in the depths of a Siberian forest. And after thorough research they discovered that Volga Olga was the oldest living nymphomaniac on the planet!
The proof of her "Oly...
London - Retired London mortician Miss Constance Burlap - a veteran of the No 19 route from Sadler's Wells to Cheyne Walk since the year dot - has spoken of her dismay at being kicked off mid-journey following a top deck fracas last week.
"I was t...
One of the old farts who contribute their pathetic rubbish to our magazine, (we've tried to discourage him) has sent in yet another of his 'Odes' - this time about the downhill differences he finds himself suffering from 1959 to 2011. Being as we rejected to git's previous three pieces of crap, we thought we'd better include this one, as it is not as bad as his usual offerings.
The place I now...
We will fight them on the beaches before long, if as is being reported today, bonkers Brussels bureaucrats soon pass a new law that's on their mad agenda which will force Great Britain to drop its Great prefix by 2015.
It seems that, as some woul...
Terrorists have caused mayhem and carnage with a series of suicide bombers up and down the UK at Mecca Bingo Halls.
Al Qaeda have claimed responsibility, though some suspect that they would claim responsibility for a bus crash on the A1, because A...
For resident Heavington OAP Mollie McGarrigle, what should have been a routine trip to the post office to collect her pension and a trip to the butcher's for a ham shank and a neck of lamb turned into a nightmare as she went to catch the bus back to...
When local pensioner Mollie McGarriggle realised she'd forgotten her bus pass as she embarked on a shopping trip to buy food for her 327 cats, toting her 'bag for life' to carry the cat food back in, so as not to upset the environment, she didn't thi...
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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