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Funny satire stories about Nursery Rhymes

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Funny story:  Jimmy Cracks Corn, Gets 20 Years

Jimmy Cracks Corn, Gets 20 Years

(Hambone, Alabama)--Jimmy was sentenced to 20 years for cracking corn as if no one cared. According to witnesses, Jimmy was observed cracking corn and repeatedly asked to stop, but refused. "I saw Jimmy sitting over there on that bench cracking c...
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Funny story:  Humpty Dumpty Finally Put Back Together Again With Marijuana Resin

Humpty Dumpty Finally Put Back Together Again With Marijuana Resin

New York, NY-- One of the most well-known eggs in history is finally back in one piece. Scientists have reconstructed the legendary Humpty Dumpty by using 21st Century technology--and marijuana. The famed egg is now back on his wall, listening to m...
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Funny story:  Another Imaginary Man To Depart Imaginary Kingdom?

Another Imaginary Man To Depart Imaginary Kingdom?

Another imaginary man has expressed concerns about the imaginary kingdom in which he has been domiciled, writes Fantasy World correspondent, Alexander Selkirk. It will be remembered that I have reported on these kinds of matters before. I spoke to this latest imaginary man yesterday, in an exclusive imaginary interview for our imaginary audience. It was surprisingly easy to gain entry to the im...
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Funny story:  Baby Falls Out Of Tree In Rockabye

Baby Falls Out Of Tree In Rockabye

Rockabye, NY-- A baby from Rockabye fell out of a tree during a fierce thunderstorm last night. Fortunately, the unnamed infant was caught by rescuers and wasn't injured. It is unknown how or why the baby was placed at the top of the tree. An al...
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Funny story:  Father Goose Reportedly Back In Picture

Father Goose Reportedly Back In Picture

BOSTON--Sources close to the family are reporting that Father Goose, who left to go get breadcrumbs six years ago and didn't return, is finally back in the picture. "We couldn't be happier!" exclaimed Mother Goose, author of such classic children'...
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Funny story:  Shock as Toddler wanders off from creche

Shock as Toddler wanders off from creche

A four year old child wandered out of a town centre crèche today, sparking off a massive hunt. The unnamed toddler was left in the care of KIDZ PLACE nursery and subsequently went missing between story time and snack time. Unbelievably the tod...
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Funny story:  Saving Yankee Doodle

Saving Yankee Doodle

"Men as well as women festooned their hair with plumes and feathers, and tied ribbons to each bouncing curl. Some men took to wearing high-heeled shoes - not clunky platform shoes, but slender, spiky heels up to six-inches high - and carrying furry muffs to keep their hands warm. Some carried parasols in the summer. They became known as macaronis, from a dish they first encountered in Italy."...
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Funny story:  Tramps squat in squatter's squat. WHSmith thanked for helping to resolve the situation.

Tramps squat in squatter's squat. WHSmith thanked for helping to resolve the situation.

A gaggle of homeless people have taken over a squat that was previously occupied by new-age middle class hippies in an extraordinary turn of events that has left the owners astounded. Mr and Mrs Wangweather bought their four bedroom London house i...
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Funny story:  Mrs Horner, mother of Little Jack Horner, is completely frustrated with education system

Mrs Horner, mother of Little Jack Horner, is completely frustrated with education system

Big Mary Horner, mother of Little Jack Horner, has critised the Devonshire educational establishment for putting obstacles in the way of her son's progression through school. Following many other councils, Devon has recently brought in a celebrity...
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Funny story:  Cow Breaks World Record

Cow Breaks World Record

There was mayhem today at the Annual World Cow Jumping Games in Scotland. An amazing series of events was triggered when the entrance money was somehow stolen by two mysterious onlookers who looked exactly like a Cat and a Fiddle. 'They've vani...
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Funny story:  Eensy Weensy  Spider - written to attract younger readers to the Spoof.

Eensy Weensy Spider - written to attract younger readers to the Spoof.

In an effort to attract younger readers to The Spoof, one writer has come up with the idea of writing especially for the kiddies. The following is her first attempt and, hopefully, not her last. Eensy Weensy Spider Gets Stuck in the Water Spout A near tradegy struck the Spider family this afternoon when Eensy Weensy Spider did not return home at the designated time. His mom of "Won't...
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Funny story:  Fairy Tales for Tourettes Sufferers: Jack and the bean stalk

Fairy Tales for Tourettes Sufferers: Jack and the bean stalk

Once upon a fucking time, there was this single mother who lived in an house with her little bastard of a son named Jack. All they had was a cow that did fuck all. So, the mother said she would sell the lazy cunt and sent Jack to Southall market to get rid of it. On the way, Jack met a wanker who tried to buy the cow for a couple of beans, so what does Jack fuckin do? Sells the cow like the...
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Funny story:  Polly Puts Kettle On

Polly Puts Kettle On

There was relief amongst exhausted workers at a Yorkshire factory yesterday afternoon, when an overworked and underpaid junior member of staff came to the rescue and put the kettle on for a cup of tea. Polly - no second name - boiled the water at...
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Funny story:  Texas Rewrites Nursery Rhymes for Daycare Centers

Texas Rewrites Nursery Rhymes for Daycare Centers

Austin, TX - Following the heels of the recent changes to Texas' history and social studies textbooks for school-age children, Texas educators are taking the idea one step further and re-working some favorite nursery rhymes for toddlers to be taught...
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Funny story:  Mary could have had a Gay lamb! Strewth 1500 animal species on "outed" Gay list

Mary could have had a Gay lamb! Strewth 1500 animal species on "outed" Gay list

New research suggests that animals can be gay too, which would defy Darwin's theory that the sexual impulses of animals are designed to cause reproduction and are therefore necessarily heterosexual. The research, conducted on an Albatross colony i...
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Funny story:  Big Bad Wolf Not So Bad Just Misunderstood

Big Bad Wolf Not So Bad Just Misunderstood

To begin at the beginning, the Big Bad Wolf started out as a cute little cub who everyone adored, as we do with baby things of any species. For the first 2 years of his life all went well, then he got in with a 'bad crowd'. It was around this time...
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Funny story:  Mary Mary Oh so bloody Quite Contrary

Mary Mary Oh so bloody Quite Contrary

Mary Mary So Contrary - How does your garden grow? Well now we know. To hell with the silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row. Mary was, indeed, growing Mari, Mara, Marew....OK. So I can't spell it. Big bloody deal. She wa...
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Funny story:  The truth about Jack and Jill

The truth about Jack and Jill

The truth about Jack and Jill going up the hill is finally out. Yes, little innocent Jack and Jill said they were going up the hill to 'get a pail of water'. NOT TRUE The guy from the movie 'Deliverance' - the one who ran around telling the fat f...
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Breaking News...

National Institute of Abhorrent Behavior (NIAB) to Study Cable News Anchors

Boston-Dr. Felix Noodlesorter of NAIB received a LooneyToonery grant to study the behavioral traits of those who anchor cable news shows. Prime subject for scrutiny is Wacky Chris Matthews of MSNBC,

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