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Funny satire stories about Nuclear Weapons

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Funny story: Trump Threatens to Nuke FBI Headquarters if They Don't Lay Off the Russian Investigation

Trump Threatens to Nuke FBI Headquarters if They Don't Lay Off the Russian Investigation

Mar-A-Lago, FL President Trump insinuated that if the FBI and the fake news press wanted to see him start a nuclear war with North Korea, that they should just keep up the phoney Russian investigation. "I already gave them the perpretator of the w...
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Funny story: Mattis and Kelly hire Kaepernick to tackle Trump.com™ if he goes for the nuke football

Mattis and Kelly hire Kaepernick to tackle Trump.com™ if he goes for the nuke football

The Whitehouse generals are so worried about an accidental nuclear war that Trump.com™ might start in a fit of blind rage and spite they have hired Kaepernick to tackle the president if he lunges for the nuke football. They said he seemed a...
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Funny story: Trump.com™ launches pre-emptive nuclear attack on Guam after he heard it on Fox & Friends it was part of the North Korean problem

Trump.com™ launches pre-emptive nuclear attack on Guam after he heard it on Fox & Friends it was part of the North Korean problem

Trump.com™ is said to very upset that North Korea is ignoring his deathly powerful tweets and his tiny ego is so incensed he has ordered a nuclear strike against Korean territories in Guam. It has been confirmed that Guam as we know it is ba...
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Funny story: May claims Corbyn wouldn't be prepared to nuke Brussels during Brexit negotiations

May claims Corbyn wouldn't be prepared to nuke Brussels during Brexit negotiations

During a TV election debate last night, Prime Minister Theresa May attacked opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn by saying that he would not be prepared to drop nuclear weapons on the EU headquarters as part of the Brexit negotiations. Corbyn responde...
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Funny story: Trump Shared Nuclear Codes With Russians

Trump Shared Nuclear Codes With Russians

Showing that he can give and take when dealing with other world leaders, President Trump revealed the nations nuclear launch codes to the Russian ambassador while bragging about the US's nuclear capability. A concerned person who was in the room w...
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Funny story: North Korea threatens to nuke Australia

North Korea threatens to nuke Australia

Chubby despot Kim Jong Un has threatened to fire nuclear weapons at Australia, after the Aussie Prime Minister said he would "stand by the US like a mate at a barbie". The North Korean leader may not have missiles that can reach the US, but Australia...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Un Builds New Nuclear Reactor Out of Lego Pieces

Kim Jong Un Builds New Nuclear Reactor Out of Lego Pieces

The flamboyant, charismatic Best Korea dictator, Kim Jong Un, who is a legend in his own mind as well at the world's greatest speaker, has shockingly announced it was the US along with many third world countries who helped him achieve building a worl...
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Funny story: Hurricane thumps the US!

Hurricane thumps the US!

A hurricane swept across the US last night causing historic devastation, destruction and left a H-bomb scenario in its wake! The storm started in Florida, then swept northwards leaving Alabama, Kentucky and other redneck states miraculously, virtu...
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Funny story: Trump Gives 6 Reasons To Vote For Him

Trump Gives 6 Reasons To Vote For Him

Donald Trump has given an amazing closing speech about why he should be elected President in 2016. It can be broken down into different parts about why he should be elected according to Mr. Trump: 1) "People say I suffer from a pathological na...
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Funny story: Obama Orders Immediate Nuclear Disarmament "Just in Case"

Obama Orders Immediate Nuclear Disarmament "Just in Case"

Washington, DC-Saying that the decision was "safest for the whole word", President Obama has issued an executive order calling for the immediate and complete disarmament of all nuclear weapons in the United States. At a press conference on Friday, th...
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Funny story: Trump Seeks Tactical Nukes For His Jet

Trump Seeks Tactical Nukes For His Jet

Complaining that it's unfair for him to wait till he's officially president to have full US military and Secret Service protection, Donald Trump says he should be allowed to outfit his personal jet with tactical or so called "theater" nukes because o...
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Funny story: Kid Makes Nuclear Bomb Out of Vegetable Soup

Kid Makes Nuclear Bomb Out of Vegetable Soup

Sterling, Virginia boy, Hank Incendiary, has managed to cultivate the latent radiation in vegetable soup and use it to assemble a nuclear bomb. Using a homemade radiation absorption brush built from pieces of Lego, Hank managed to accumulate 20 lbs...
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Funny story: GOP Promises To Spank Trump If He Abuses Nuclear Arsenal

GOP Promises To Spank Trump If He Abuses Nuclear Arsenal

Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan say they will resort to corporal punishment if Donald Trump should ever abuse his access to the nations nuclear codes. "I think a good old fashioned spanking or paddling would be in order," McConnell said. "Donald Tru...
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Funny story: John Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (1/2)

John Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (1/2)

Notable public figure, hilariously swiftboated, um, SWIFTBOAT political celebrity and darling of the MSNBC broadcasting-apologetical complex John Kerry… Well, he's just made yet another honest mistake in a somewhat lengthy line of honest mistakes. John Kerry has put his hermeneutical philosophy of 'The Constitution is a living document' into practice via a creative reinterpretation of the Fi...
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Funny story: John Kerry denies he was doing lazy 8s

John Kerry denies he was doing lazy 8s

A little earlier today, I contacted Mass. General Hospital to check on the status of Secretary of State Kerry because of his bicycle accident. I had to pull some strings to get inside, but I managed to reach his doctor, Dr. Handleman Keurner, chie...
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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Seized "Centrifuges" Not indicative Of Nuclear Capability

Isle Of Wight News - Seized "Centrifuges" Not indicative Of Nuclear Capability

"Centrifuges" siezed by customs officers on the Isle of Wight ferry were discovered to be old fashioned washing machines bound for the HMP Isle of Wight prisons it was claimed this morning. The Hotpoint Super-Swirl twin tub machines were thought...
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Funny story: Hadron Collider Discovers God

Hadron Collider Discovers God

The scene was reminiscent of a European Cup soccer final as hundreds of scientists leapt into the air screaming and shouting and hugging each other as sheaves of paper drifted through the air. It all happened at their research centre in Geneva at...
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Funny story: White House Apocalyptic Announcement

White House Apocalyptic Announcement

Press Secretary for President Obama's administration, Karl Von Mitty Munchausen announced today to at gathering of journalists and reporters invited to a White House tickets-only news conference the following: "General Martin Dempsey, chairman of...
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Breaking News...

Alabama's New State Motto

After Tuesday Alabama's state motto, Audemus jura nostra defendere ("We dare defend our rights"), will most likely be changed to Audemus pedophilium nostra defendere ("We dare defend our pedophiles").
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