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Funny story:  Paul Ryan Says He Will Run For President In 2016

Paul Ryan Says He Will Run For President In 2016

KEYSTONE, South Dakota - Paul Ryan took a trip up to South Dakota to visit Mount Rushmore and to get a little rest and relaxation from the grueling presidential race he has just lost. Ryan told GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle that he had no ide...
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Funny story:  Newt Gingrich: Obama Will Kick Romney's...Hairdo

Newt Gingrich: Obama Will Kick Romney's...Hairdo

ST. BARTS, West Indies - Former speaker of the house Newt Gingrich and third wife Callista were down in the Caribbean relaxing and getting away from the tons and tons of political campaign ads. According to a highly placed source with Gingrich's p...
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Funny story:  Romney To Buy Wife Ann a Clothes Washer for Mother's Day

Romney To Buy Wife Ann a Clothes Washer for Mother's Day

Likely Teapublican presidential candidate Mitt Romney revealed that he will be purchasing a new clothes washer for wife Ann this week. "I think it's the ideal gift for a stay-at-home mom like Ann," said Romney during a break from the campaign trail.
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Funny story:  Newt Quits Race, Vows to Conquer Russia

Newt Quits Race, Vows to Conquer Russia

Today Newt Gingrich dismissed his run for the US presidency as "trivial" and "not befitting my vast talents and expertise." In a long, sparsely attended press conference, the former Speaker of the House vowed "to move on to more important things, na...
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Funny story:  Political Facebook - Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich Discuss Mitt Romney

Political Facebook - Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich Discuss Mitt Romney

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Rick Santorum: Hey Newt are you there? 9:01 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Yeah Rick. I just finished having a piece of toast with some expensive butter that I have imported from Holland once a week. 9:04 a.m. Rick Santorum: Wow! I betcha it's good. 9:07 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Rick, it is so darn good, I actually hate to eat it. 9:11 a.m. Rick Santorum: Say Newt I just want...
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Funny story:  Santorum bows out. Gingrich disappears from Google Search!

Santorum bows out. Gingrich disappears from Google Search!

When Rick Santororum bowed out of fhe presidential race yesterday, the media immediately began seeking a comment from Newt Gingrich. He was nowhere to be found! As the journalists frantically tried to find him, one enterprising reporter did a Google...
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Funny story:  Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, and Sarah Palin

Political Facebook - Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, and Sarah Palin

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Newt Gingrich: Hi Rick. Well old pal it looks like I'm done. I don't have a snowballs chance in hell of beating "Old Mittens." 10:01 a.m. Rick Santorum: I hear you Newton. I am feeling the same way. I don't think I've been this disappointed since back in high school when I asked the head cheerleader, Sadie Sue Von Buttermilk to the prom and she told me that she wanted to...
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Funny story:  Glenn "Crybaby" Beck States That He Will Cry A Lot of Tears If Mitt Romney Is The GOP Presidential Candidate

Glenn "Crybaby" Beck States That He Will Cry A Lot of Tears If Mitt Romney Is The GOP Presidential Candidate

POCATELLO, Idaho - Glenn Beck was in Pocatello visiting one of the largest potato museums in the world, The Spud Land Museum & Gift Shop. He was accompanied by his 4-year-old niece Daisy Parpaletti, who looks just like him except she's a lot smaller, she's a girl, and she does not cry anywhere near as much as her uncle. Beck was asked by Mistletoe Bulova, a very pretty reporter with The...
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Funny story:  Whose Bed Have Newt's Boots Been Under?

Whose Bed Have Newt's Boots Been Under?

Regardless of Newt Gringrich's prospects for winning the Republican presidential nomination, it's impossible to dispute that the ladies looooove Newt! And it's not just the ladies - nearly every time Gingrich is scheduled to speak, he ends up doing so to a packed house. Gingrich's passion is clearly contagious, as indicated by his sold-out debates and standing-room-only campaign events. In fac...
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Funny story:  Gingrich & Santorum to combine as one...will run as Attila the Hun!

Gingrich & Santorum to combine as one...will run as Attila the Hun!

Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum stunned the political universe today as they announced they will combine their campaigns and run as one. "We will campaign and govern as Attila the Hun," stated Gingrich. A reporter from the Associated Press called...
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Funny story:  Former Kamikaze pilot hired by Gingrich!

Former Kamikaze pilot hired by Gingrich!

In a surprise announcement this morning, Newt Gingrich announced that he had hired an Ex Kamikaze pilot as his campaign manager. Newt introduced the ninety-two year old pilot Yoshiro Metamora and explained his strategy in a few words. According...
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Funny story:  My Worst Nightmare: I Was Married to Newt Gingrich

My Worst Nightmare: I Was Married to Newt Gingrich

I'm coming clean and you are the first to know. If you are a frequent Dating Dementia reader, you'll recall that I seldom remember my dreams. Scientists have established that everyone dreams. I'm sure I do. Yet, for some unknown reason, upon waking I remember nothing about the weird wanderings of my midnight mind. Ignorance is indeed bliss. My bliss bubble was popped early this morning...
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Funny story:  Political Facebook - Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Ron Paul

Political Facebook - Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Ron Paul

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Rick Santorum: Hey Mitt how's your Etch A Sketch doing? 8:14 a.m. Mitt Romney: It's doing great Ricky boy. Do you still really feel that if I ran against President Obama that Republicans should vote for him and not me, a GOPer. 8:19 a.m. Rick Santorum: Do skunks stink? Is Lake Michigan wet? Does Lindsay Lohan have hundreds and hundreds of freckles? Of course I do "Hai...
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Funny story:  Newt Gingrich Gets Hold of Romney's Etch A Sketch and Shakes up the Republican Presidential Race

Newt Gingrich Gets Hold of Romney's Etch A Sketch and Shakes up the Republican Presidential Race

The entire Republican presidential race took an unexpected turn when Newt Gingrich got hold of Mitt Romney's etch a sketch and shook the crap out of it. The incident occurred at a Houma, Louisiana gumbo bar called Mumbo Dumbo's Gumbo where both cand...
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Funny story:  Gingrich Attacked by Wiccans Seeking Eye of Newt

Gingrich Attacked by Wiccans Seeking Eye of Newt

Late last night while taking his regular "constitutional" (Gingrich's preferred term for his nightly moonlight strolls through the woods, the moniker he feels best demonstrates his passionate commitment to the civil rights propagated by our Founding...
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Funny story:  The Top Ten Political Etch A Sketch Sayings of The Month

The Top Ten Political Etch A Sketch Sayings of The Month

Ever since Mitt Romney spokesperson Eric "The Red" Fehrnstrom made his Etch A Sketch remark at a political campaign rally at a Pizza Gal Restaurant parking lot in Missoula, Montana, the name of the toy has been used more times than the words "Where's the clicker?" The following list was compiled by the verbiage gathering agency known as Did You Hear That, Inc. which is based in Kalamazoo, Michi...
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Funny story:  The Inside Scoop on Newt's Conversion!

The Inside Scoop on Newt's Conversion!

ATLANTA, GA (ABSNN) - Newt Gingrich believes he is "Behind the Eight Ball," according to close associates within his faltering, third-place campaign. The big stories the past three news cycles were Romney's exit from the Mormon faith and his convers...
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Funny story:  Mass projectile vomiting predicted at GOP convention!

Mass projectile vomiting predicted at GOP convention!

Newt Gingrich held a press conference yesterday in Biloxi, Mississippi and predicted that if Mitt Romney is nominated as the GOP candidate, "there will mass nausea and projectile vomiting at the convention!" Gingrich elaborated, "And this sickness wi...
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