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Funny satire stories about New York Mets

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Fred Wilpon Addresses Media

Funny story: Fred Wilpon Addresses Media

New York Mets Majority Owner Fred Wilpon talked to the media following another Mets loss, the most recent being an 8-7 loss to the Milwaukee Brewers. "Just because our talent is lacking due to injuries doesn't mean that it's time to panic," a de...

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Johnny Manziel, Tim Tebow To Star In New Reality Show

Johnny Manziel and Tim Tebow: perhaps the most famous NCAA quarterbacks of their generation. They destroyed defenses on the ground and through the air, each earning the most coveted Heisman Trophy. Their short-lived NFL careers each saw their fair sh...

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New York Mets are retiring Terry Collins' shoe size

Funny story: New York Mets are retiring Terry Collins' shoe size

Flushing, New York - Having no players skilled enough to deserve that their numbers be retired, the New York Mets have developed a new honor. The team is retiring its manager's shoe size. "I'm thrilled to be the first major league manager to have...

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You Gotta Believe the Mets Are Damned

Funny story: You Gotta Believe the Mets Are Damned

Most fans of baseball believed the Mets' acquisition of Yoenis Cespides for the playoff stretch run of 2015 nothing short of a miracle. Hitting at a .287 clip with 17 home runs and 44 runs batted in, the Cuban outfielder instantly added the offensiv...

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New York Mets next giveaway: a genuine NYPD body bag

Funny story: New York Mets next giveaway: a genuine NYPD body bag

Flushing, New York - - Friday is Body Bag Night at Citi Field. Each of the first 15,000 fans who show up for the game will receive a Human Remains Containment Device, which was actually used by the New York City Police Department to transport and sto...

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Who Threw the Overalls in Mr. Murphy's Chowder?

Funny story: Who Threw the Overalls in Mr. Murphy's Chowder?

NY Mets player Daniel Murphy has astonished the sports world -- and himself -- with a history-making performance. Home runs in six consecutive post-season games! There's a secret to his success. Keep it under your hat, but SOMEONE has been throwin...

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Mets fans suspended for use of delusion enhancing drugs

Funny story: Mets fans suspended for use of delusion enhancing drugs

New York -- Major League Baseball has banned the entire fan base of the New York Mets from participating in any aspect of the game. The ruling by new MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred takes effect immediately and lasts until the end of the current season.

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What The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)

Funny story: What The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)

AMMANBEINGAMMAN, Jordan - Sure, according to a significant amount of strategic unnamed sources (typically those without any sort of sufficiently accumulated sooner or later go-to funds, hopefully designated for any and all doomsday styled rainy days hell bent on impolitely presenting themselves, via whichever suddenly well past-due timeframe quickly proves to be dramatically necessary, and/or, ju...

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Spy vs. Spy: Poison Shortage Triggers Suicide Crisis

Funny story: Spy vs. Spy: Poison Shortage Triggers Suicide Crisis

Washington, DC - One of spying's essentials - the cyanide capsule - is in such short supply that a dangerous suicide backlog is developing at the CIA, the NSA, the Secret Service and other federal surveillance agencies. "Anyone assigned to spy fo...

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As His Missteps Mount, Mets Manager Holds A Closed-Door Meeting With Himself

Funny story: As His Missteps Mount, Mets Manager Holds A Closed-Door Meeting With Himself

Flushing, New York - New York Mets Manager Terry Collins was mad as hell at his team's subpar performance in recent weeks, much of which was caused by his own mistakes. So he called for a special closed-door meeting that excluded the media, the coach...

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New York Mets down to one last fan

Funny story: New York Mets down to one last fan

Flushing, New York - The New York Mets have been a disaster at the plate, an abomination on the mound and a catastrophe in the field. Yet they've always managed to attract a base of supporters. But not anymore. Tired of empty promises and finishe...

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New York Mets Already Eliminated from the 2014 Playoffs

Funny story: New York Mets Already Eliminated from the 2014 Playoffs

Flushing, New York - Due to an accounting error, the New York Mets baseball club has been mathematically eliminated from the 2014 National League playoffs. Mets principal owner Fred Wilpon took full responsibility for the arithmetic mishap. H...

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Mr. Met Traded to the Cubs For a Year's Supply of Steroids

Funny story: Mr. Met Traded to the Cubs For a Year's Supply of Steroids

Flushing, New York - Desperate to improve a team that has become the laughing stock of major league baseball, the New York Mets have traded their beloved mascot, Mr. Met, to the Chicago Cubs in exchange for a shipment of super steroids. The...

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New York Mets put the entire team on the Disabled List

Funny story: New York Mets put the entire team on the Disabled List

Flushing, New York -- With their superstar pitcher going down with a serious elbow ailment, the New York Mets have placed every one of its players on the 365 day Disabled List, essentially shutting down the team until further notice. General mana...

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Edward Snowden to Spy for the New York Mets

Funny story: Edward Snowden to Spy for the New York Mets

Flushing, New York -- Looking to even up their below .500 record before the end of the season, the New York Mets have added an espionage expert to their roster. He is the whistle-blowing traitor, Edward Snowden, and he will join the team as soo...

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The 10 sure signs you're playing for the Mets

Funny story: The 10 sure signs you're playing for the Mets

Flushing, New York -- It's hard enough being a Mets fan, putting up with a Scrooge of an owner and a stooge of a general manager. Imagine playing for this talentless team. Put yourself in their bargain store spikes and consider the 10 top indicatio...

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New York Mets take away 11 'positives' from the 2012 season

Funny story: New York Mets take away 11 'positives' from the 2012 season

New York - With their season running off the rails, the New York Mets have already started to take a look back at the year to see what positives can be salvaged from the train wreck. They found 11: 1. The plan to add performance enhancing drugs to the hotdogs at Citi Field has been successful. Mets fans are singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" much more enthusiastically. 2. The sawdust in...

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Bill Maher Becomes Part Owner of The New York Mets - Receives 9,000 Phone Calls Asking For Free Tickets

Funny story: Bill Maher Becomes Part Owner of The New York Mets - Receives 9,000 Phone Calls Asking For Free Tickets

NEW YORK CITY - Bill Maher is an observational sociopolitical commentator, which in English 101, means that he bitterly makes remarks about politics and the big boys and girls who participate in the quasi-dysfunctional p world (political). Maher p...

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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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