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Royal Pardon for paedo Savile in Brits' 2014 New Year's Honors

Funny story: Royal Pardon for paedo Savile in Brits' 2014 New Year's Honors

London, UK - Queen Elizabeth is to issue a Royal Pardon in the New Year's Honors List forgiving one of the nation's top sex offenders plus some very lucky mates. The new spirit of reconciliation with excluded minorities means prolific serial perv...

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The nation honours Paul for the lovely weekend

Funny story: The nation honours Paul for the lovely weekend

In a shock announcement today, a previously unknown scientist is a surprise late addition to the New Year's Honours list, receiving an OBE for services to the nation. Paul Montgomery, 31, from Pewsey, revealed he had fitted snow tyres to his car...

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New Years Dishonours published in Palace prank

Number Ten and the Palace are said to be 'stunned' by the news that the wrong New Years Honours list has been published. According to the Palace, there was a minor lapse in security on Boxing day, when Philip and Camilla got a bit drunk and 'hacke...

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Kerry Katona spitting nails at New Years Honours snub

Funny story: Kerry Katona spitting nails at New Years Honours snub

A glaring omission from this years New Years Honours list has seen tv celebrity/former 'singer' and media ho Kerry Katona express her disbelief yesterday. Speaking from the star studded gala that closed the 'Save a Chav for Crimbo' charity campaig...

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Sir Moneybags Celebrates

Funny story: Sir Moneybags Celebrates

A major funder of the Conservative Party and a hedge fund manager, Toby Moneybags, has been awarded for his 'services to the nation' with a knighthood in the New Year's Honours list. 'This is to celebrate the Big Society' claimed David Cameron 'sh...

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New Year's gong recipients to face police lie detector tests

Funny story: New Year's gong recipients to face police lie detector tests

London - Some of the New Year's Honours List gong winners are so bad that police want to put them through a polygraph. Notorious characters who have blighted the British Way of Life feature in the List, compiled in association with the London Coll...

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Headmistress at Spoof writer's alma mater spurned Blair gong in Iraq War protest

Funny story: Headmistress at Spoof writer's alma mater spurned Blair gong in Iraq War protest

Yorkshire - Miss Verrity Blewstocking, MA Oxon (Hons), confirmed today she'd been schmoozed 'for more than five years' by Tony Blair to accept a damehood for service to education. "I first turned it down on aesthetic grounds," the headmistress of...

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Rowling threatens Suicide Over Snub in New Year's Honours List

Funny story: Rowling threatens Suicide Over Snub in New Year's Honours List

"So what happened this time around with the recuperating-from-poverty J.K.Rowling and that elusive Damehood? Couldn't her pals in government and the media who have been hiding her sorry ass from scrutiny for years and years swing it for her? Did she not dump enough ill-gotten spondoolicks into Labour's coffers and God knows what other powerful pockets? Kids, blogs, gremlins, foreigners, dope addic...

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JK Rowling to be Dame in New Year's Honors list

Funny story: JK Rowling to be Dame in New Year's Honors list

London - (Gong Hits 4 Hogwarts!): A simple £10 million bung to the Duke of Edinburgh University medical school was all it took. It will fund the building of a dedicated treatment center for degenerative personality diseases - to treat plagiarists...

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New Year's Honours to be Decided by X-Factor style Public Vote

Funny story: New Year's Honours to be Decided by X-Factor style Public Vote

In a radical shake-up of the traditional process for selecting the recipients of Knighthoods and other honours, the British public will now be invited to help decide. A telephone vote, much like the polls used by programs such as the X-Factor and St...

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Chef kept wife's body in freezer for 3 years jailed

Funny story: Chef kept wife's body in freezer for 3 years jailed

Paul Wallner, 34, who battered his wife to death, and then hid her body in a freezer in a shed in his garden for three years, has been jailed for life. He convinced her family that she had died of natural causes and went to extreme lengths to main...

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Status Quo rockers given Old Boring Entertainers awards (OBE's), for playing the same 3-chord song over and over for 30 years

Funny story: Status Quo rockers given Old Boring Entertainers awards (OBE's), for playing the same 3-chord song over and over for 30 years

Staus Quo guitarists Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt today received their OBE's from another old rocker, Her Majesty the Queen, and said they were 'bored with the same 3 chords after 30 years of playing them'. 'Same chords, same beat, no wonder bas...

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British tiddlywinks medal winner honoured

Funny story: British tiddlywinks medal winner honoured

Today the British tiddlywinks gold medal winner, Chris Ahoy, was honoured in the New Year's honours list. 'It's an honour to be honoured', Ahoy said, 'I'm the first Briton since 1899 to win 5 gold medals at tiddlywinks. The Americans can't match t...

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New Year's Honours list leaked

Funny story: New Year's Honours list leaked

A Buckingham palace spokesman was said to be livid that news of some of this year's New Year Honour recipients had leaked out. The spokesman was said to be especially incensed as he had intended selling it to the Sun himself tomorrow. The list, fu...

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Ruth Kelly to be knighted in New Year Honours

Funny story: Ruth Kelly to be knighted in New Year Honours

In recognition of her fabulous work serving the Labour Government, Gordon Brown has announced that Ruth Kelly will receive a knighthood, the first on his 2008 "Gordylist" for a New Year's Honour. Sir Ruth gains this second knighthood (to sit along...

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Ozzy Osborne to be knighted in Queen's Birthday Honours

Funny story: Ozzy Osborne to be knighted in Queen's Birthday Honours

It has been revealed today that one of Britain's favourite and best-loved dysfunctional rock stars, John "Ozzy" Osborne, is to receive a KBE in this year's Birthday Honours list for his services to incredulity.

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Dolly the Sheep, Kylie & Des 'Crack Cocaine' Lynam: Gorgon Brown's Trash-for-Honours 2008

Funny story: Dolly the Sheep, Kylie & Des 'Crack Cocaine' Lynam: Gorgon Brown's Trash-for-Honours 2008

Drowning Street - (Worse Ass Mess): "Arise, Dame Kylie Minogue of Trashville!" Buckingham Palace is getting ready to honor the biggest trash heap ever to be inflicted on the beleaguered and long-suffering British public since Whore on Terra...

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No Honours

Funny story: No Honours

Comedy duo Little and Large have once more been missed of from the Queen's New Year's Honours list. Eddie Large and Syd Little have been secretly campaigning for their efforts in British Comedy to be recognised. Syd Little speaking to us earlier s...

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Breaking news…

Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.
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