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Funny satire stories about New Year

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Funny story: Pennsylvania Town, High As Kites Still Think It's 2013, Will Use Big Mushroom, Wild Party To Ring In 2014

Pennsylvania Town, High As Kites Still Think It's 2013, Will Use Big Mushroom, Wild Party To Ring In 2014

Evanstown, a town near Philadelphia that's famous for it's fungus will ring in the year, 2014 with a huge mushroom! No, it's not real but it weighs 3000 pounds and will be lowered by a crane and 978 local citizens. "I got a bad back and a hernia b...
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Funny story: Chinese Year of the Horse - New regulations cause shortage of horse Chop Suey

Chinese Year of the Horse - New regulations cause shortage of horse Chop Suey

The Chinese Year of the Horse 2014 may turn out to be a problem year for Chinese restaurants everywhere. Normally special menu for four persons will be the New Year's animal meat dish e.g. mutton for sheep, beef for Ox etc. Admittedly dragon, mo...
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Funny story: The Top 10 Headlines of 2013

The Top 10 Headlines of 2013

The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency based in Chicago has compiled a list of the top 10 headlines of 2013. ADGA Spokesperson Bagby B. Buckleybox stated that he sat down with several entertainment publications and news agencies and went over thousands of headlines. The group that Buckleybox met with consisted of Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo, Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle T...
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Funny story: A List of 10 Celebrity New Year's Resolutions

A List of 10 Celebrity New Year's Resolutions

Every year thousands of Tinsel Town celebrities make thousands of New Year's resolutions. And according to The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency of Chicago only about 3 percent actually keep those resolutions. The ADGA stated that of the 97 percent that do not keep their New Year's resolutions about 69 percent are broken within the first week. Most of these include dieting, drinking, gam...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Retires From Music To Become A Speck of Lint You See Left Hand Middle Of Your Laptop

Justin Bieber Retires From Music To Become A Speck of Lint You See Left Hand Middle Of Your Laptop

LOS ANGELES, CA - Justin Bieber held a press conference today to announce that he retires and will begin the New Year as a speck of lint. "But I don't want to be any speck of lint, just the speck of lint you see on the left hand side middle of yo...
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Funny story: Rio Ferdinand' New Years' Eve samaritan plea!

Rio Ferdinand' New Years' Eve samaritan plea!

A desolate Hotel, near Wigan, UK: New Years Eve, everybody is getting ready for fireworks and champagne. People are getting ready for the BIG party. Then there is a desperate 'TWITter' message picked up by all good Samaritans, by a £115,000-a-we...
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Funny story: Man Reflects on Sad Loss Of Mother

Man Reflects on Sad Loss Of Mother

As New Years Eve approaches and we fondly wave farewell to 2012 and welcome, with open arms and a sigh of trepidation, 2013, many people will be reflecting on the loved ones they lost in the last 12 months. "It is a time for reflection" said grief...
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Funny story: Families expect verse to come

Families expect verse to come

Three-quarters of Britain's families are bracing themselves for a rush of New Year greeting cards with loads of pathetically up-lifting poems and massively predictable rhymes. In Scotland there will be more verse - and sometimes the verse is w...
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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's New Year Address

Martin Shuttlecock's New Year Address

Good Evening. I'm Martin Shuttlecock, and speaking on behalf of my beloved wife and myself, I would like to extend the warmest of New Year's greetings and felicitations to those who read this. The ones who don't can all fuck off. Right - It's traditional to look to the New Year with optimism. It's the done thing to hope for a peaceful New Year, and wish happiness, health and prosperity up...
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Funny story: Auld Lang Syne Lyrics A Mystery

Auld Lang Syne Lyrics A Mystery

Most Britons make up the lyrics to the traditional New Year ditty Auld Lang Syne a survey has discovered. Researchers discovered that 37 per cent of us don't know any of the words to the song, written by Robert Burns in 1788. Most of the adults...
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Funny story: Nine things that'll guarantee you'll be a miserable bastard in the new year

Nine things that'll guarantee you'll be a miserable bastard in the new year

Bah-Humbug is your middle name. But why should a miserable bastard only get to be miserable at the holidays? Commit to memory these easy-to-follow steps and you'll be sure to be insufferable for all twelve months. 1) Run away from your problems. Why face problems head on when you can run from them and possibly make others feel as if these same problems were theirs and not yours. 2) Tell your...
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Funny story: New Year's Resolution Suggestions For Some Famous and Infamous Celebrities

New Year's Resolution Suggestions For Some Famous and Infamous Celebrities

Every new year, millions of people make New Year's resolutions which they fully intend to keep. Some people resolve not to drink as much, or smoke as much, or make fun of the faults of their spouses, significant others, or love interests. Many of these New Year's promises have actually lasted as long as four or five weeks, most however do have a tendency of falling by the wayside within 48...
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Funny story: New Year Resolutions - that are easy for a Nottingham resident to keep!

New Year Resolutions - that are easy for a Nottingham resident to keep!

1) Get mugged. 2) Have your home burgled. 3) Get made redundant, and sign on at the jobcentre. 4) Shop next year at the multitude of closing down stores to save cash and get a bargain. 5) Have pedestrian training on how to avoid the Big Issue sellers. 6) Visit the closed down medical wards, arrange nostalgia tours through your local Health Care Managers. (They will require 30% of in...
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Funny story: 'Christmas With A Polished Turd'

'Christmas With A Polished Turd'

Well dear reader, another year has rolled over us like a Mac Truck driven by a hairy Swedish lesbian! The earth has spun on its axis taking us from horn-bags in bikinis to horn-bags in winter jumpsuits and then back again. Sitting at the local the other day, I was spit balling with my mates what Christmas at the Lodge would be like. I can picture Julia Gillard sitting in the dining room starin...
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Funny story: Year Of 2012 To Be Postponed

Year Of 2012 To Be Postponed

The UN announced today that the year of 2012 is to be postponed. Ban Ki-moon, Secretary-General of the United Nations, spoke of the unanimous UN vote. 'The outlook for the global economy is extremely uncertain,' he explained. 'There is political i...
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Funny story: 2011 To Start All Over Again

2011 To Start All Over Again

New York, NY-- The United Nations has voted overwhelmingly to have 2011 begin all over again. The New Year started off strange, become even stranger, and then turned ultra-violent in its two weeks. No one seems to like the New Year, so it's being r...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle reveals her New Year's Resolution

Susan Boyle reveals her New Year's Resolution

Susan Boyle has revealed her New Year's Resolution for 2011 and it has come as a huge surprise to her fans. Many thought she would be resolving to visit 3rd World countries to embark on missionary work in some shape or form. She stunned the 'fanship' by announcing, this morning: "Och...Ahm gonna t'spend a lo' o' time in Middlesbrough. That's in the North East of England, as some of yer...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle welcomes in 2011 in style

Susan Boyle welcomes in 2011 in style

Susan Boyle has welcomed in 2011 in great style. Susan had a huge party at her new house in Blackburn. Invited guests were all of the people of the village. There were NO celebrities invited. When asked why Susan had hostessed a party excluding...
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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