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Funny story: NRA Backs Anti-Squirrel Nuclear Device

NRA Backs Anti-Squirrel Nuclear Device

A U.S. physicist and inventor announced today that he plans to soon release a product he calls the "Mini Nuke." He intends to introduce his product through the fast-growing conglomerate known as Paradise Industries. Dr. John Dietrich, a professor...
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Funny story: The NRA Changes Its Name To 'Jihadist Rifle Association' Because That Is Where The Money Is Now.

The NRA Changes Its Name To 'Jihadist Rifle Association' Because That Is Where The Money Is Now.

The National Rifle Association, smelling a chance to increase its profits and its membership, has decided to follow the money and change their name to 'Jihadist Rifle Association' instead. The NRA, long a secret backer of any American tragedy that...
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Funny story: NRA Demands Tighter Controls on Body Armor Sales

NRA Demands Tighter Controls on Body Armor Sales

NRA spokesmilf Sierra Paylin caught the first available flight to San Bernardino (She even spelled it right!) to address the press with regards to an issue that has been bugging the NRA for years: "How is it possible for any deranged nut in this c...
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Funny story: Worst Mass Shooting in U.S. History

Worst Mass Shooting in U.S. History

Yesterday morning, everyone in the lower forty-eight states was killed or critically wounded in the worst mass shooting in U.S. history. Investigators from Canada's RCMP and Mexico's Policia Federales issued the following joint statement (as they...
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Funny story: James Madison Addresses the Nation

James Madison Addresses the Nation

HEAVEN--James Madison, from his final resting place in heaven, today addressed the nation about the barrage of school shootings afflicting the United States. The text of Madison's speech follows: My fellow Americans, Many of you know me as one of the Founding Fathers and the fourth President of this great nation. Fewer of you are no doubt familiar with the many contributions I made to the...
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Funny story: NRA President Wayne Lapierre Sends Thoughts and Prayers to the Families of Future Victims of America's Next Mass Shooting

NRA President Wayne Lapierre Sends Thoughts and Prayers to the Families of Future Victims of America's Next Mass Shooting

NRA President Wayne Lapierre held a press conference in Wiltchester, Texas today sending thoughts and prayers to the unknown family members who will tragically lose somebody to America's raging gun violence problem. "We don't know who they are yet...
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Funny story: NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

NRA Starts Big Push To Get Guns Into The Hands Of As Many Wackos As Possible

Realizing statistically that whenever there is a gun related mass murder by a mentally ill individual or group that gun sales go up out of fear that they will be outlawed. Because of this gun manufacturers have started pushing the NRA to get more gun...
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Funny story: Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

Texas Legislature Poised to Pass Open-Viper Law

AUSTIN, TX-The Republican-controlled Texas legislature is poised to pass an historic Open-Viper Law over the next two weeks. The Open Viper Law, the first of its kind in the nation, would allow Texas citizens to openly carry venomous snakes in the Lo...
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Funny story: Grover Norquist - "I am not, nor have I ever been a Muslim"

Grover Norquist - "I am not, nor have I ever been a Muslim"

I meet Grover Norquist on a bustling Friday morning at an unassuming coffee shop in the D.C. suburb of Georgetown. A member of the NRA board of directors, he's an intelligent, well spoken man who meets me with a hearty handshake and a greeting of "God is great". Immediately launching into attack mode, he is highly critical of those who he says have tried to "assassinate" his character as o...
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Funny story: NRA Lobbies for Concealed Carry Permits for Toddlers

NRA Lobbies for Concealed Carry Permits for Toddlers

FAIRFAX, VA--After a two year old toddler fatally shot his mother at a Wal-Mart recently, Wayne LaPierre, CEO of the National Rifle Ass., is starting an effort to lobby Congress to extend Concealed Carry Laws to toddlers nationwide. His reasoning:...
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Funny story: Certain 'Forces' Send In THE CHENEY To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.

Certain 'Forces' Send In THE CHENEY To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.

Eager to take over the U.S. government as swiftly as possible after winning major seats in the Senate and Legislature, 'certain forces' within our system have called on a specialist to rid the organization of its 'lame duck' elements. Operating in se...
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Funny story: Head of NRA Discovers the word "regulated" in the 2nd Amendment

Head of NRA Discovers the word "regulated" in the 2nd Amendment

At a political debate on gun control, the head of the NRA was asked to read out loud the Second Amendment of the US Constitution. He looked it up on his smart phone and began to read "A well regulated militia . . ." Shocked at seeing the word "re...
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Funny story: Assault Weapons Chief Says God Is On His Side

Assault Weapons Chief Says God Is On His Side

Commenting on the accidental murder of a nine-year-old girl's assault weapons instructor on a gun range, because of her inability to control her Uzi submachine gun, and thus blowing part of his brains out, Wayne La Pisse of the "Owning Guns Is A God-...
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Funny story: Nine Year Old Bags Her First Human with an Uzi

Nine Year Old Bags Her First Human with an Uzi

LAS VEGAS-Her parents proudly filming her with their cell phone, nine year old Violet Burton bagged her first human on Tuesday with an Uzi submachine gun. The Burtons had gone to Las Vegas to vacation, and their itinerary included hunting humans i...
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Funny story: NRA Demands That American Government Outlaw Drones Despite The Second Amendment

NRA Demands That American Government Outlaw Drones Despite The Second Amendment

In a strange reversal of policy the NRA has demanded that the U.S. make a ban on drones very much like the ban on guns that they have so heatedly fought against in the past. Speaking at a press conference NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre has vehemently a...
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Funny story: NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

The NRA and GOP have finally found a free school lunch program that they feel comfortable endorsing. The "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program" is a pilot program in selected rural areas that teaches firearm safety, hunting, trapping and self sufficien...
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Funny story: SWAT Raids Lawn Dart Tournament, Gun Rally Participants Relieved

SWAT Raids Lawn Dart Tournament, Gun Rally Participants Relieved

It was a sunny afternoon of family fun, barbecues and lawn darts in Auburn, Washington. The Cascadian Lawn Darts Association was hosting a local tournament between the Renton Renegades and the Auburn Avengers. Sharing the the park was also local gun...
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Funny story: Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

KANSAS CITY, MO---The NRA, ever vigilant against liberal, extremist groups who want to take away citizens' right to bear arms, now has an enemy's list. In addition to Wallmark Cards, among its many targets are Britney Spears, the YWCA, AARP, B'nai B...
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