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Funny story: Assault Weapons Chief Says God Is On His Side

Assault Weapons Chief Says God Is On His Side

Commenting on the accidental murder of a nine-year-old girl's assault weapons instructor on a gun range, because of her inability to control her Uzi submachine gun, and thus blowing part of his brains out, Wayne La Pisse of the "Owning Guns Is A God-...
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Funny story: Nine Year Old Bags Her First Human with an Uzi

Nine Year Old Bags Her First Human with an Uzi

LAS VEGAS-Her parents proudly filming her with their cell phone, nine year old Violet Burton bagged her first human on Tuesday with an Uzi submachine gun. The Burtons had gone to Las Vegas to vacation, and their itinerary included hunting humans i...
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Funny story: NRA Demands That American Government Outlaw Drones Despite The Second Amendment

NRA Demands That American Government Outlaw Drones Despite The Second Amendment

In a strange reversal of policy the NRA has demanded that the U.S. make a ban on drones very much like the ban on guns that they have so heatedly fought against in the past. Speaking at a press conference NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre has vehemently a...
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Funny story: NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

NRA Endorses "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program"

The NRA and GOP have finally found a free school lunch program that they feel comfortable endorsing. The "Kill Your Own School Lunch Program" is a pilot program in selected rural areas that teaches firearm safety, hunting, trapping and self sufficien...
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Funny story: SWAT Raids Lawn Dart Tournament, Gun Rally Participants Relieved

SWAT Raids Lawn Dart Tournament, Gun Rally Participants Relieved

It was a sunny afternoon of family fun, barbecues and lawn darts in Auburn, Washington. The Cascadian Lawn Darts Association was hosting a local tournament between the Renton Renegades and the Auburn Avengers. Sharing the the park was also local gun...
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Funny story: Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

Wallmark to Introduce New Line of Sympathy Cards for Victims of Gun Violence

KANSAS CITY, MO---The NRA, ever vigilant against liberal, extremist groups who want to take away citizens' right to bear arms, now has an enemy's list. In addition to Wallmark Cards, among its many targets are Britney Spears, the YWCA, AARP, B'nai B...
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Funny story: Gunfight at Open Carry Corral

Gunfight at Open Carry Corral

SAN ANTONIA, TX--A gunfight today broke out between the leader of the Open-Carry Movement, Tex "Small Sack" O'Laury, and the CEO of the National Rifle Association, Wayne "Wacko" LaPierre. The gunfight erupted after a spokesperson for the NRA called...
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Funny story: Morning News Shows Feature New Tally: The Weekly Domestic Body Count

Morning News Shows Feature New Tally: The Weekly Domestic Body Count

In response to the almost weekly reports of mass shootings across the US, many morning news shows are now including, among their morning segments, a weekly domestic body count of the number of victims lost to gun violence across the country. Now,...
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Funny story: NRA Succeeds In Taking Over U.S. - Bans All Amendments Except Second

NRA Succeeds In Taking Over U.S. - Bans All Amendments Except Second

The NRA has at last accomplished their goal of taking over the government of what was once was the United States of America. Initiating a ploy that they were rebels against an unfair, repressive political entity, they succeeding in hiding their real...
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Funny story: New DSM V Disorder: Gun Fetishist's Separation Anxiety

New DSM V Disorder: Gun Fetishist's Separation Anxiety

The new DSM V categorization of psychiatric disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association as a new description of separation anxiety and a new category of fetishes. In the DSM IV these disorders related only to people. But now they h...
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Funny story: NRA Opposes Obama Surgeon General Nominee

NRA Opposes Obama Surgeon General Nominee

WASHINGTON - Facing a possible defeat in the Senate, the White House is considering delaying a vote on President Obama's choice for surgeon general The nominee, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, an internist has come under criticism from the National Rifle A...
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Funny story: Middle, High Schools in Arkansas Issued Firearms

Middle, High Schools in Arkansas Issued Firearms

Attention mass killers, you better not go into an Arkansas school as each child has been issued a weapon that is under their desk. The ammo can be unlocked quickly by the teacher or room monitor. Of course, the early grades will only have stun gun...
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Funny story: NRA Calls for SOS (Shoot on Suspicion) Laws Nationwide

NRA Calls for SOS (Shoot on Suspicion) Laws Nationwide

FAIRFAX, VA--In a legal move to avoid having to prove that an armed person felt physically threatened when discharging his weapon, Wayne LaPierre, CEO and Bullshitter-in-Chief for the National Rifle Association, is now calling for SOS, or Shoot on Su...
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Funny story: Obama In Duel With The NRA And LaPierre - Obama Loses!

Obama In Duel With The NRA And LaPierre - Obama Loses!

Many believed it would be a dramatic and historic meeting between President Obama and NRA leader Wayne LaPierre when they met at a press conference in New York this afternoon. After a long standing feud (minus guns but about guns) between the two for...
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Funny story: US Senators in fact finding mission to UK's House of Lords Rifle Range

US Senators in fact finding mission to UK's House of Lords Rifle Range

Washington - A delegation of 46 United States Senators who famously rejected proposals last year for gun background checks will be visiting an exclusive shooting gallery in the basement of the British Parliament's upper house, the House of Lords, ne...
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Funny story: Head Of NRA Shoots Self Is In Hospital

Head Of NRA Shoots Self Is In Hospital

Pastor John Slaughter today was handed the NRA gavel to preside over the most powerful pro-gun lobby in the U.S. His sudden assent to be the gun group's top man was occasioned by former CEO, Wayne La Pisse, severely wounding himself through careless...
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Funny story: The Unforeseen Horrors That Turned Obama's Hair Grey

The Unforeseen Horrors That Turned Obama's Hair Grey

There are many factors within the fray, that have turned our Presidents hair to grey. Pundits, done-thats and patriots galore seek to sabotage him evermore. These are the things that have turned our fearless leader's head from black to grey in only five short years: Having Military Generals whisper to him that 'they would do a Kennedy' on him if he so much as tried to close Guantanamo Ba...
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Funny story: Sheriffs Don't Want Data On Insane

Sheriffs Don't Want Data On Insane

WASHINGTON - - - The Obama Administration today expanded access to mental health data in background checks for the federal system. Under a new rule, paranoid schizophrenics, brutal lunatics who have been imprisoned for violence, insane child abu...
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