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Funny story: NFL Has New Policy Against Cannabis Use

NFL Has New Policy Against Cannabis Use

The NFL is now extensively testing players before football games for marijuana usage. This is a recent policy change. National Footbal League Commissioner Roger Goodell gave an explanation. "The problem with Cannabis is that it is a 'peace" induc...
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Funny story: NFL Meeting to Develop 2015-16 Season Controversies

NFL Meeting to Develop 2015-16 Season Controversies

Like all businesses, publicity is an important part of the NFL. So important that the NFL is holding a mandatory owners meeting on Monday after the Superbowl to discuss publicity for 2015. "2014 was such a great year with Ray Rice, a gay player,...
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Funny story: Indianapolis coach's explanation "not convincing," Science Guy says

Indianapolis coach's explanation "not convincing," Science Guy says

Bill Nigh, the Science Guy, a die-hard Indianapolis Dolts fan, hypothesizes that the explanation of the New England Playoffs coach, Bill Bellyache, that global warming is the cause of his team's under-inflated balls is "dubious at best." Climate...
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Funny story: NFL commissioner reveals email that started inflategate investigation

NFL commissioner reveals email that started inflategate investigation

New York City, NY. - NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, explained today that his investigation into ball pressure was sparked by an email. "I was at the stadium watching the game and dodging calls from Terrell Owens, then I received a mysterious em...
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Funny story: Cheesy law regarding football spawns other gridiron lunacy

Cheesy law regarding football spawns other gridiron lunacy

BAINBRIDGE ISLAND, WA -- Bainbridge Island, Washington, has outlawed cheese. At least, during the upcoming NFC Championship game that pits the Seattle Seahawks against the Green Bay Packers. And it's not only cheese per se that's banned, but al...
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Funny story: Belichick Bets Infamous "Half-Sleeved Hoodie" on Championship Game

Belichick Bets Infamous "Half-Sleeved Hoodie" on Championship Game

Foxborough, MA - During Friday's post-practice interview, Patriot's head coach, Bill Belichick stated that he would "bet my hoodie that we take home the AFC championship this year." These are strong words from a reserved coach who has coached th...
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Funny story: The Jackass Whisperer, Daniel Snyder, now takes center stage

The Jackass Whisperer, Daniel Snyder, now takes center stage

It's time for the worst NFL owner to have his celebrity again. Yes, it's Daniel Snyder's time to shine. Snyder has been the principal owner of the Washington Re*sk*ns pro football team since 1999. This season, Snyder's team went 4-12 - for a wallo...
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Funny story: Ray Rice Suspension Overturned, Now Eligible To Punch Roger Goodell

Ray Rice Suspension Overturned, Now Eligible To Punch Roger Goodell

HOOTERS -- Former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice has had his indefinite suspension from the NFL overturned, and is immediately eligible to punch NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell in the elevator of his office suite. "I just wanna get back to...
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Funny story: Jacksonville Jaguars owner spooked as $100m ocean-going runabout sprouts a leak

Jacksonville Jaguars owner spooked as $100m ocean-going runabout sprouts a leak

London - Pakistani-American billionaire Shahid Khan's brand new superyacht Kismet was seen limping to emergency moorings this afternoon after springing a leak close to Blackfriars Bridge on the Thames in London. Named after the Scottish word for '...
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Funny story: Falcons somehow find way to pull off loss against all odds!

Falcons somehow find way to pull off loss against all odds!

The Atlanta falcons squared off against the Detroit Lions in Wembley stadium as part of the NFL England series. After an adequate version of Star-Spangled Banner and obviously better version of God Save the Queen- it was time to take the field. The...
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Funny story: Stoned NFL Referee Sets Record For Calling the Most Fouls on One Play

Stoned NFL Referee Sets Record For Calling the Most Fouls on One Play

David slew Goliath with a slingshot, Samson killed a thousand men with the jawbone of a jackass and Guy Fawkes learned that attempting to blow up the House of Lords was probably not such a good idea after all. On Sunday, these men's feats were sur...
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Funny story: Team Loses "Must Win" Game, Decides Just "Screw It" For The Rest Of The Season

Team Loses "Must Win" Game, Decides Just "Screw It" For The Rest Of The Season

The Topeka Grizzlies, a semi pro football team, has just decided to forget about the remaining 6 games and concentrate on their day jobs and families, a spokesman for the team said yesterday. The team, which was 1-3 in the Midwest Central Leagu...
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Funny story: NFL Mandates Owners To Develop More Accurate Team Names

NFL Mandates Owners To Develop More Accurate Team Names

With the Washington Redskins under a great deal of pressure to change their team name, the National Football League has decided to address the issue by requiring owners to update their clubs' names to reflect the current realities of their communitie...
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Funny story: Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Defends NFL

Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban Defends NFL

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has given an impassioned defense of football at a Dallas news conference. In his opening statement he said that the NFL had more than 200 unique million viewers last season. "Hundreds of thousands of them were po...
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Funny story: NFL's Goodell Speaks On New Peterson Revelation

NFL's Goodell Speaks On New Peterson Revelation

Minnesota Vikings Adrian Peterson, already facing felony charges in Texas for child abuse, was accused in a separate incident involving another son who was 4 years old. In that case Peterson inflicted a head wound on his son, who was in a car seat,...
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Funny story: Oorah!!! DC NFL team to possibly become the few and the proud with rebranding

Oorah!!! DC NFL team to possibly become the few and the proud with rebranding

WASHINGTON, DC-In response to continuing criticism about his team's name, National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell and Daniel Snyder, the owner of the Washington Redskins, are considering changing the name of Snyder's team to something mor...
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Funny story: DC footballers change their logo to keep their name

DC footballers change their logo to keep their name

Washington DC -- Under fire for long harboring a racially inappropriate team identity, this city's NFL franchise has changed its logo from the silhouette of a Native American warrior to the image of a potato. "This should make everybody happy," a...
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Funny story: Roger Goodell Steps Down; Interim Commissioner Ray Lewis to Let Ray Rice Play on Sunday

Roger Goodell Steps Down; Interim Commissioner Ray Lewis to Let Ray Rice Play on Sunday

In a move that surprised no one but the world's biggest misogynists, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell resigned from his duties on Thursday afternoon. In a hastily called press conference, a tearful Goodell said he no longer felt he could make the b...
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Irritable General Colon Bowel Syndrome flare-up among Israel-Hezbollah might be over

Colonic Irrigation Regiment sent in to flush out anyone crapping on tentative piss talks
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