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Funny story: NFL Players Must Wear Ankle Bracelets

NFL Players Must Wear Ankle Bracelets

When you're paid to hit people on the job you might take that home with you, or in your car, at a bar, in a nightclub, or in a parking lot dispute. NFL players are spoiled, they feel entitled. They believe they're outside the rules and that even i...
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Funny story: College Football Teams Should Go Semi-Pro

College Football Teams Should Go Semi-Pro

AP --At Texas A&M, the football coach made close to $4.5 million in 2015, nearly four times what the second highest-earning public university president in the country made. At Penn State, where the president is the highest paid among all public...
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Funny story: Colin Kaepernick spends night at Holiday Inn, becomes expert in discrimination

Colin Kaepernick spends night at Holiday Inn, becomes expert in discrimination

After spending the previous night at a Holiday Inn, Colin Kaepernick became enlightened to the plight of minorities in the United States, and staged a protest at an NFL pre-season game. "I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a cou...
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Funny story: NFL to switch field material from turf to pillows this season

NFL to switch field material from turf to pillows this season

After rising fears that their ratings might suffer from the competition generated by Olympic Ping Pong, the NFL cancelled their first preseason game using hard paint as an excuse. When pressed about the matter Roger Goodell acted in his typical...
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Funny story: 2016 NFL Predictions: Part 2

2016 NFL Predictions: Part 2

*Former Minnesota Viking running back Onterrio Smith makes a comeback, not as a player, but as a pitchman for his new Whizzinator-like product to help players beat drug tests. The product, which is endorsed by the estate of Prince, is called the "Pur...
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Funny story: 2016 NFL Predictions

2016 NFL Predictions

*In late August, Aaron Rodgers disappears for two days, and later claims to have been abducted by aliens. Rodgers tearfully admits that the aliens probed him rectally with a vegetable, and many Rodgers critics later claim that he still has the cornco...
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Funny story: Twitter Report of Roger Goodell's Death a Hoax. NFL Admits "He was never alive to begin with..."

Twitter Report of Roger Goodell's Death a Hoax. NFL Admits "He was never alive to begin with..."

A hacker unwittingly exposed the true nature of Roger Goodell by falsely reporting his death on Tuesday June 7, 2016. The NFL's hacked Twitter account announced his passing with the following tweet: "We regret to inform our fans that our commission...
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Funny story: Johnny Football's nickname revoked by NFL

Johnny Football's nickname revoked by NFL

After a string of immature, unprofessional and downright criminal incidents, Johnny Manziel has been stripped of his right to associate himself with football by the NFL. The infamous party animal/misogynist is now left with a gaping maw where his id...
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Funny story: NFL Owner Gives Headaches, Not Aspirin

NFL Owner Gives Headaches, Not Aspirin

The risk of taking a baby aspirin is as dangerous as owning an NFL franchise. Scientists ought to spend billions to learn what owner Jim Irsay of the Indy Colts already knows. Yes, it appears that being a member of the billionaire bozo club is not...
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Funny story: Ten possible name changes for the Washington R$ds$kin$

Ten possible name changes for the Washington R$ds$kin$

The name of the Washington NFL team is offensive to the majority of American Indians. And this isn't some satire writer's opinion, 67% of American Indians say they find the team name offensive. Even Canadian Indians don't like it. Not to mention a lo...
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Funny story: NFL Rebrands Championship Game the "Superblow" for 2016-17 season

NFL Rebrands Championship Game the "Superblow" for 2016-17 season

NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, on the heels of uncountable rule changes, arbitrary punishments, and overall ineptitude has contributed what he has refereed to as his "crowning achievement as Commissioner of the NFL". "Starting from the champions...
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Funny story: Man selflessly prioritizes supporting NFL team over his own well-being

Man selflessly prioritizes supporting NFL team over his own well-being

Donning his lucky team jersey and some disheveled levi jeans, local man Stan Malone sits anxiously on his stadium seat completely absorbed in the NFL game. Casting aside all other activities and plans that could improve his life, Stan nervously wa...
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Funny story: Depressing British EMO Band to Cap Off NFL Season

Depressing British EMO Band to Cap Off NFL Season

The National Football League has announced the halftime act for its centerpiece spectacular, Superbowl XL - whiny British balladeers Coldplay. The band, whose records have provided the soundtrack to countless teenagers drinking cider alone in their...
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Funny story: Forty miles is a long way to travel by car, let alone throw passes in untold years of NFL games

Forty miles is a long way to travel by car, let alone throw passes in untold years of NFL games

Forty miles is a long way to travel by car, let alone throw a football. Peyton Manning's 10-yard pass to fellow Denver Broncos wide receiver Emmanuel Sanders about halfway through the game Thursday night (Sept. 17) at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City...
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Funny story: Rex Ryan Behind IK Enemkpali Breaking Geno Smith's Jaw

Rex Ryan Behind IK Enemkpali Breaking Geno Smith's Jaw

It appears that there is more to the story of IK Enemkpali breaking Geno Smith's jaw than we were first led to believe. Sources originally reported that the linebacker had "sucker-punched" Smith over $600 that the Jet's quarterback had owed him. The...
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Funny story: Federal Judge Rules Redskins Must Remove "Washington" From Name

Federal Judge Rules Redskins Must Remove "Washington" From Name

BILLINGSGATE POST: A Federal judge in [blank] ruled today that the NFL franchise in our Nation's capital must remove the name that precedes [blank] because it could very well denigrate the African American players on this team who might be descendan...
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Funny story: The final word on Deflate-gate

The final word on Deflate-gate

Editor's note: On Saturday, May 24, Patriots coach Bill Belichick conducted a press conference to provide the final word on the ball-inflation investigation. The full transcript as provided by the team appears below. BB: I want to take this opport...
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Funny story: Tom Brady Only Semi Deflated After Suspension

Tom Brady Only Semi Deflated After Suspension

Boston, MA - In the wake of the on going Deflate-Gate football nonsense investigation that has been gripping all of America for many months now, Tom Brady was handed, what most in the sporting world see, as a rather harsh penalty, a four game sus...
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