"Now, Donald, I have prepared a few simple exercises for you [handing him a printed card]. Start at the top, and read all the way through."
"I condemn the racists and neo-nazis and white supremacists who . . . Listen, I know that the fake media want to distort everything I say . . ."
"No, no, no! That is unacceptable. You absolutely must stay on message. Start over from the beginning."...
Lord Lloyd Webber has cancelled the new production of My Fair Lady staring Sarah Montague which had been in production for two months.
A spokesman for his company said that Ms. Montague was having trouble with her elocution. 'She was fine on the c...
Andrew Lloyd Webber is to mount a new production of My Fair Lady after listening to the Today programme.
His spokesman said that he was half asleep listening to the Radio Four programme when Ms. Montague used the word 'now' three times in one sen...
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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