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Funny story: Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Don't masturbate or your hand will get pregnant

Men who masturbate have been given a dire warning by a Muslim televangelist who claimed live on TV that they will find their hands PREGNANT in the afterlife. Mucahid Cihad Han made the bizarre statement in a question and answer session on a radica...
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Funny story: Theresa May: "We must Engage with the Moderate Homosexual Community"

Theresa May: "We must Engage with the Moderate Homosexual Community"

Apparently, because Theresa May is from the Conservative Party, she has the dispiriting responsibility of reluctantly assimilating individuals in a rather more blunt and crude way than Labour or Lib Dems. So she has sworn to "engage with the moderate homosexual community," in order to ensure that gay people do not cause any more "chaos, subversion and aesthetic terrorism." As a Conservative,...
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Funny story: Obama: "I am a gay Muslim"

Obama: "I am a gay Muslim"

In what must have been the gaffe of the century President Barack Obama slipped up at a press conference today and admitted to being a homosexual, foreign born, communist/Marxist, Muslim, socialist agitator who hates America and prays to Allah for the...
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Funny story: Obama Under Attack By Enraged Christians

Obama Under Attack By Enraged Christians

The National Prayer Breakfast held yesterday is hosted by members of the United States Congress. It has often had controversial speakers. President Obama, himself, is now in that category as yesterday. He initially attacked the Islamic State as...
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Funny story: Jihad Descends on Salt Lick City

Jihad Descends on Salt Lick City

Radical Islamists are furious following the ritual posthumous baptism of their Prophet at the Tabernac' of the Jesus Christ Church of Lit Saints, Dude (LSD-Moron) in Salt Lick City, which reportedly took place in a service this past Sunday afternoon.
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Funny story: Fox News Insults "Muslim" Birmingham

Fox News Insults "Muslim" Birmingham

Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, has again apologised to the city of Birmingham, UK. Having previously apologised for the factually inaccurate statement that Birmingham was a "Muslim-only city", Emerson has today issued a statement apologising t...
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Funny story: New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

New Terrorist Group "SHAZAAM" Says ISIS is for Punks!

An even more violent and ruthless terrorist group "Shazaam" released a video today calling ISIS members "Punks" and "Pussy Boys". The twenty minute video showed the groups leader, tearing off the head of a captured ISIS fighter and then eating s...
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Funny story: Churches and Mosques To Be More Clearly Marked As Drunk Orders Takeaway At Mosque

Churches and Mosques To Be More Clearly Marked As Drunk Orders Takeaway At Mosque

After a man of Eastern origin yesterday walked into a chapel and ordered fish, chips and a pickled egg, calls to clearly mark places of worship were made in Scunthorpe. Last week two inebriated couples walked into Scunthorpe's Kirk St. Mosque and...
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Funny story: This Week's Top 20 Movies

This Week's Top 20 Movies

This Weeks Top 20 Hollywood Movies. 1. It's Okay to Murder Dark People. 2. Killing the Innocent is Fun. 3. How to Kill a Thousand People Before You Get The Bad Guy. 4. Teenage Terrorist Nympho on Speed. 5. Terror And Sex Part 12. 6. Terror Stalks The White House at Night. 7. A Blonde Swedish Terrorist with Big Tits in New York... at Night. 8. The Tibetan Monk Terrorist. 9. War on Terriers...
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Funny story: Halal tap water causes outrage

Halal tap water causes outrage

First it was Subway that was selling halal meat, then Pizza Express, now it turns out halal produce is everywhere, including the water coming out of British taps. "This is an outrage," said Nick Farage, head of UKIP. "Why isn't this on the news?...
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Funny story: Missing married man wasn't on MH370, he was at his girlfriend's apartment, much to his wife's dismay.

Missing married man wasn't on MH370, he was at his girlfriend's apartment, much to his wife's dismay.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia- 35 year old software engineer, Abu Panzer has "fessed up" to his wife after spending almost the last month hidden in his girlfriend's downtown apartment. His wife of 14 years dropped him off at KL International on the 8th...
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Funny story: Mel Gibson Wondering If Jews Ever Got Swine Flu?

Mel Gibson Wondering If Jews Ever Got Swine Flu?

Mel Gibson may be slipping back into his old ways again and that's not good news for his fans. "No one wants him anymore and he was near the top of the trade about three years ago", stated one producer who knows Gibson and asked not to be named.
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Funny story: CAIR Honchos to Convene Obamacare Death Panels

CAIR Honchos to Convene Obamacare Death Panels

Omar Ahmad (CAIR President), Nihad Awad (CAIR Secretary & Treasurer), and Rafeeq Jaber (CAIR Vice President) and Ibrahim Hooper (Communications Director) were named to head the Obamacare Sunset panel, which is more commonly known as the Death Pan...
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Funny story: Hamza Abdullah Disses The NFL

Hamza Abdullah Disses The NFL

NEW YORK CITY - Former NFL safety Hamza Abdullah has just become the most despised man in the entire National Football League, even more so that Detroit's Ndamukong "The Brat" Suh. Hamza Abdullah, took the 2012 NFL season off with his brother fell...
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Funny story: God Takes Early Retirement Citing "Force of Circumstances"

God Takes Early Retirement Citing "Force of Circumstances"

At a hastily convened press conference in Heaven today, a depressed supreme deity who goes by the aliases of God, Jehovah, Yahweh and Allah announced that he could no longer carry on and was taking early retirement. Speaking in tongues, including...
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Funny story: Muslim Imam posing as Catholic Cardinal to become new Pope

Muslim Imam posing as Catholic Cardinal to become new Pope

The press is telling us that Pope Benedict XVI is resigning and an election will be held for a new Pope. However a spy who has infiltrated the Vatican had revealed that 120 Cardinals already elected a new Pope. His name is Cardinal Mohammed Hus...
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Funny story: Dawkins lambasts 'Islamic Barbarians'

Dawkins lambasts 'Islamic Barbarians'

Atheist fundamentalist and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins has taken a brief break from ridiculing Christians, and has turned his bigoted opinions to insulting muslims, terming them "Islamic Barbarians". Following extremists burning down a sacr...
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Funny story: Romney pledges to give Detroit, Philadephia, Camden and Wilmington to Canada

Romney pledges to give Detroit, Philadephia, Camden and Wilmington to Canada

AMERICAN FORK UT (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney announced Saturday his plan to rid the US of 500,000 Muslims with the stroke of his Presidential pen. He plans to give to Canada the four US cities with the highest population of Muslims: Detroit (300,000), an...
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Chris Christi Licks Sickness

As a result of an intensive three-year psychological reconditioning program under the supervision of Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, Chris Christi is almost completely cured of his homosexual disease
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