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Funny story: Mormon Tabernacle Choir Wraps Up Tour of Quebec

Mormon Tabernacle Choir Wraps Up Tour of Quebec

"The French Canadians are quite friendly," said choir director Brigham Smith in a press release, "and we were generally well received, but some of our interactions with the Quebecois were rather puzzling, to say the least." "For instance, can som...
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Funny story: Tony Bennett Releases Yet Another Fucking Christmas Album

Tony Bennett Releases Yet Another Fucking Christmas Album

New York, New York - Proving to the world once again that he is, indeed, still alive, crooner Tony Bennett releases the 500th Christmas album in his nauseating yule tide collection. This latest one is called, I'm A Christmas Whore - There, I Said It!...
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Funny story: Bob Dylan Secretly Longs For Teen Choice Award

Bob Dylan Secretly Longs For Teen Choice Award

New York, NY - After being announced as the winner of the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize for groovy songs, sources close to legendary songwriter, Bob Dylan, say that all he really wants is a surfboard trophy from the Teen Choice Awards. "Mr. Dylan couldn'...
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Funny story: Charles Manson wannabes express concern over there being no good music anymore

Charles Manson wannabes express concern over there being no good music anymore

LOS ANGELES, U.S. - At the annual meeting of psychopaths who think that songs are telling them to murder people concern was expressed over the lack of good music anymore. "It's a big problem" Charles Manson wannabe Jeff Smith explained. "Back in t...
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Funny story: "The Boss" breaks his own record

"The Boss" breaks his own record

Last night at the Meadowlands, Bruce Springsteen shattered his own record by going on a 47-minute monologue segueing beautifully between a somber ATLANTIC CITY and a raucous Rosalita. The crowd used this time to use the bathroom, text their...
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Funny story: Gary Glitter accused of "possessing Gary Glitter records"

Gary Glitter accused of "possessing Gary Glitter records"

Shamed entertainer and glam rock star Gary Glitter faces new charges at London's Old Bailey today accused of possessing Gary Glitter records and conspiracy to record a new album. Mr. Glitter, which I suspect may be a stage name, is understood to...
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Funny story: How to make it big in the music biz these days

How to make it big in the music biz these days

So you want to make millions of dollars writing songs, recording these little ditties, and performing them in front of sold-out audiences, right? The first order of business is: Do you need any talent? Hell no, you don't. It's not like the old day...
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Funny story: "This song is gay" concludes celebrated music critic

"This song is gay" concludes celebrated music critic

A celebrated music critic has delivered a scathing verdict on the new album by Catfish and the Bottlemen today, taking the band and the internet by storm. After listening to the first 30 seconds of the song and proceeding to take approximately 0.
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Funny story: God to step down, names Alexis Taylor of Hot Chip as successor

God to step down, names Alexis Taylor of Hot Chip as successor

HEAVEN - God announced today in a press statement that he aimed to step down from the role of God. He clarified that: "it's difficult being God, people don't really get that there's a lot to it, you know, unleashing fiery vengeance upon whores an...
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Funny story: I write my own songs

I write my own songs

By Justin Bieber You may be wondering: How can songs this well-crafted be written by a young man? Sadly, I cannot answer your question. I do not understand the inner mechanations of my mind. I do not know how my soul secretes its desires. Perhaps, a higher purpose seeded my brain with an ability to rationalize a higher concept of emotion, a greater pathos. But yes, I do write my own songs. S...
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Funny story: Prince Really Did Like To Make Doves Cry

Prince Really Did Like To Make Doves Cry

Minneapolis, MN - According to sources closest to the recently deceased Pop/Rock/Fashion and Home Furnishings Icon, Prince, he actually did enjoy making doves and other birds cry, which was the impetus for one of his most beloved songs. "I remembe...
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Funny story: Eddie Salazar Of Double Lined Minority Confirmed Nose Fetishist: 3 Dead

Eddie Salazar Of Double Lined Minority Confirmed Nose Fetishist: 3 Dead

Eddie Salazar, vocalist for Gold Coast pop punk band Double Lined Minority went on a Facebook rant today about his immense love for the nose. Claiming he loves when they are quote "on point". Double Lined Minority has recently toured with confirm...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 7: Recitals

The Case Against Recreation - Part 7: Recitals

Recitals- The smallest and cheapest, but often the most artistically rich type of musical event. The recital is usually a solo performance featuring a virtuoso musician-or a rank amateur who can't get any other gig. The small-scale venue is an intimate setting ideal for maximizing the entertainment experience. The only problem is when someone farts the sound and smell is much more...
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Funny story: Ex-police worker caught downloading Justin Bieber

Ex-police worker caught downloading Justin Bieber

A former civilian police employee has appeared before court after secretly downloading Justin Bieber's music at home, a court heard. Michael Dale, 33 was also an army reserve officer dealing with cadets since 1999 and working for the charity, Acti...
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Funny story: Music Chart Overhaul Throws Up A Surprise

Music Chart Overhaul Throws Up A Surprise

From today, the UK music chart is being published on Fridays, and will be based on a new algorithm for calculating positions from a range of sources. Unfortunately, this has coincided with changes to the days on which new music is released, and the...
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Funny story: Bono, Gabriel Slam "Pathetic" Wagner Apologists

Bono, Gabriel Slam "Pathetic" Wagner Apologists

Many music critics view Wagner's music as problematic because of the composers' anti-Semitic views, and many argue that his classic works of opera are inseparable from his hatred of Jewish people. However, not everyone agrees. So, we've asked a couple of real music experts (not some pathetic, pedantic, mainstream, dusty old music critics), to give their two (million) cents worth on this on...
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Funny story: Dawkins/Dennett/Pinker/Harris Boyband Release Baywatch Tribute

Dawkins/Dennett/Pinker/Harris Boyband Release Baywatch Tribute

In order to facilitate the public communication and popularisation of science (as distinguished from mere 'vulgarisation,' science forbid… Professors Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Steven Pinker and Sam Harris have formed a (post-)80s boyband supergroup: the Non-Dumb-Dumb-Boys. In doing so, they intend to convince arrogant, complacent, self-indulgent pomo humanities scholars and students o...
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Funny story: Nuisance neighbour booted out of council house after subjecting residents to peace and quiet

Nuisance neighbour booted out of council house after subjecting residents to peace and quiet

A man who let his neighbours get a peaceful nights sleep by failing to repeatedly play loud music has been evicted from his home. South Tyneside Council's Anti-Social Behaviour Unit received complaints over five years regarding the behaviour of Gr...
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Trump Babbles Coherently Nobody Understands

In a complete reversal of normal babble, Trump babbled so coherently his handlers passed out leaving him alone in a meeting room with a wet bar. HUGE, SAD. 2 hours later he was a babbling idiot again.
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