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Funny story: Norman Bates Spends Mother's Day Talking To Himself

Norman Bates Spends Mother's Day Talking To Himself

Norman Bates spent Mothers Day mainly talking to himself in his padded cell here, alternating between his own voice, and the voice of his murdered mother, which he puts on with creepy effect. Bates, who inspired real life serial killer Ed Gein, of...
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Funny story: The Moorview Institute Chapter 27 - Lobotomies Made Simple

The Moorview Institute Chapter 27 - Lobotomies Made Simple

The knock on the door startled him. Melvin Lipshitz was worried of late. The Moorview institute was in trouble and he knew it. Not only was he short-staffed with the influx of new patients but staff had been listing multiple personalities as separate patients as well while doctor's were falling behind on procedures for existing patients. He gazed at the Rubik's cube he kept on his desk and cur...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institue, Chapter 25

Life At The Moorview Institue, Chapter 25

Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter 25 What If The Monkeys Really Run The Zoo? Dr. Lippshitz sat in his office, contemplating what had happened that morning. He'd run the videotape of his counseling session with the new patient back and forth all afternoon, and still didn't have any answers and no clear insight. It was a mass of confusion and lies and deception, and all mixed in with s...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Twenty One

Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Twenty One

Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Twenty One Mark Lowton Administrator Mark Lowton was troubled. It wasn't because he had laundry worker Eddie Valdez chasing after him (in a gay way). It wasn't because he had Dr. Lippshitz chasing after him (in a gay way). It wasn't because Amazon woman Gertie, the former Bulgarian weight lifter who worked as a guard, was chasing after him. It...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institue, Chapter Seventeen

Life At The Moorview Institue, Chapter Seventeen

Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Seventeen People tend to be a little messed up here at the Moorview. You've got the fools who try to do everything out of order: the put their plates upside down on their trays and then put the food on the bottom of the plate, they take a shower and then take their clothes off, they write a book and put in chapters 18, 19, and 20 before they do chapter...
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Funny story: Life At Moorview Institute - Chapter 20

Life At Moorview Institute - Chapter 20

Look, I already tole ya's. I can't hang aroun here witch yous. Dis is my coffee and cigarette break, alright? Jeeze! Frickin' reporters... What you want wit me anyways? Why don'tcha go talk to some a de udder guys? Da big shots? Da names? Go talk ta da frickin' hotshots. I'm juss wunner da liddle guys. Litewally. What? Ya don't tink life's a bitch when you's a coupla inches shy of four feet...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institute-Chapter 19

Life At The Moorview Institute-Chapter 19

Soon after he had dispatched the slightly insane Dr. Phineas Barger, seen to the welfare of a well shaken up Eloise Altoids, and assured her of comfort later that evening, Luther retired to his room, carefully locked the door, retrieved his journal and then moved to the secret panel in the back of the closet. Releasing the hidden latches, Luther pulled out a large black board on coasters which...
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Funny story: Moorview Institute Addition Finally Opens - Chapter 16

Moorview Institute Addition Finally Opens - Chapter 16

Administrators of the Moorview Institute posed with politicians this week at the ribbon cutting for a recently completed addition intended to house 100 new patients. Construction of the addition was plagued by numerous delays at the start as workman wearing khaki boiler suits were often mistaken as escaping patients. Workers were continually being chased by security guard Gertie Helmuth, gra...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Twelve

Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Twelve

Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Twelve In the Laundry Room Eduardo (Eddie) Valdez was one of the invisible people. He was a man who got up in the morning, went to work, came home, ate a tv dinner while watching Lifetime network, and went to bed. He never made waves or ruffled feathers in his life at home or at work. He wasn't a member of any clubs or teams or organizations and just...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institute-Chapter 11

Life At The Moorview Institute-Chapter 11

Luther woke slightly out of sorts. He always slept soundly and with a clear conscience, but a disturbing vision kept recurring as he lay in the darkness of the early dawn, suddenly alert. Clowns! That was it, Clowns! Why would he have dreamed about Clowns after a wonderful evening with Ms. Altoids had relaxed his mind, body and Spirit? He shrugged off his thoughts, no matter, if it was impo...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Ten

Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Ten

Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Ten Bobby Lee was pushing his broom through the Hub when he saw Librarian Martha Hobbs rush from the cubicle of Medical Student and knock-out blond Eloise Altoids. Martha seemed to be upset and was wiping a tear from one eye as she hurried to the staircase to descend to office. Bobby looked at the fleeing back of Martha, whom he considered more than j...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Eight

Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Eight

Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Eight Martha's Hospital Arrival Martha Hobbs turned north out of the cemetary and headed for work. It was Monday morning and she had just left flowers on the grave of her husband, the late Right Reverend Jeremiah Elijah Bethel Stuart Hobbs of the Springfield Evangelical Church of Christ. Martha always visited J.E.B. on Mondays, because it would not b...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institute-Chapter 6

Life At The Moorview Institute-Chapter 6

The light from the full moon streamed into the small room through the colonial 12/12 paned windows, illuminating the sturdy antique institution desk. In the corner was a neatly made up single bed, hospital corners sharply tucked in, the blanket pulled so tight you could bounce a quarter off it. Under the bed were four pair of shoes, a pair of cuddly rabbit slippers, a pair of penny loafers, t...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Three

Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter Three

Life At The Moorview Institute Chapter Three Chapter Two Maybe I should start this little section of my memoir out by telling you about my day. I'm kind of an early riser, so I get up about 5:00 a.m. and head for the showers. If you go that early in the morning, there's always hot water (and you don't always get that pleasure if you get up like everyone else between 7:00 and 8:00). A...
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Funny story: Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter One

Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter One

Life At The Moorview Institute, Chapter One A few days ago, one of our inmates posted this little piece on Spending Time At The Moorview Institution. While much of this was true, a big part of it was under-stated. It didn't go deep enough into defining and describing the lunatics in this place. I guess that I should know as much, or more, about them than anyone else. After all, I've been...
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Blue Balls Creamery has released the name of the second flavor to be released when the ice cream goes back on store shelves: Mysteria.
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