The latest casualty of the worldwide, global, double dip, triple dip, sherbet dip recession, depression, financial compression, crisis, meltdown, age of austerity looks set to be the commemorative days of Mothers and Fathers Day. The two occasions ar...
Conference North mid-table team, Gloucester City, have discovered that as from next season, they will be homeless, after selling the ground they have played in for the past one hundred a twenty years, and owing their current landlords forty-thousand...
How, overnight, I became a multi-millionaire is not a kid's story!
My regular exercise begins at dawn, of course, indoors; otherwise, plainclothes men might take me in as a suspect! Normally, I open the gate to look for unusual things such as a stranger's car parked right in the driveway, etc. On the morning of that very day, to my great surprise, I saw a black carry-on bag neatly and visibly...
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Little six-year-old Savannah Stubenberger, who was named after her grandmother Savannah Bacardi, has become one of the town of Savannah's most famous residents.
Little Savannah, who attends Mrs. Robert E. Lee Elementary School,...
RUIDOSO, New Mexico - A group of archaeologists from Delaware stumbled upon an interesting find just outside of the town of Ruidoso, which is noted for its Gila Monster Grilled Burritos.
Kiki Lily Chillydutch, 21, with the Delaware group stated th...
During the Cold War, because of the continuing threat of the Soviet Bloc to launch World War 3, West Germany decided to spread its 300 tons of gold reserves to different banks around the world to preserve the stability of the economy of what is now s...
With the economy in the state that it is in, the rising cost of weddings has become something that many men are deciding against tying the knot.
"It costs several thousand quid," said Harry Balls, a mathematics lecturer from Sheffield University,...
Before decimalisation in the 1970s, it was common for a bob to be left under a pillow in exchange for a tooth. After decimalisation, a bob became ten pence. This state of affairs lasted until the affluent eighties when teeth doubled in value, out pac...
After months of speculation the identity of the next governor of the Bank of England has been revealed as Olly Murs.
George Osborne stunned the city by announcing that Olly Murs, the runner-up in the sixth series of The X Factor in 2009, will repl...
In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...
A top English Premier League club has an opening for a full-time professional footballer to work within a highly motivated multi-lingual team of prancing prima-donnas.
Interested parties should be able to demonstrate a high level of skill, and will be required to show their ability to blow their nose with one finger, and gob large amounts of spit onto the floor. The successful applicant will al...
Protests were held today in London, Glasgow and Belfast to demand that the government spends as much money as possible in order to increase the national debt.
It is estimated that as many as 10,000 people may have turned out to show their disconte...
Tiny Irish rock knob-head Bono, 3' 4", has sensationally reformed Girls Aloud he said today, from his castle in Switzerland.
The U2 frontman has taken full responsibility for the girl bands reformation, telling reporters that he should now be offi...
Bristol has launched its own currency, the Bristol pound, in an attempt to prevent money from flowing out of the area. A number of shops and businesses have signed up to the hare-brained scheme, and will accept Bristol pounds alongside the usual poun...
Tampa - A discarded copy of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's acceptance speech from Tampa shows that he would pursue the creation of a new One Million Dollar Bill if elected President.
A copy of the speech, found in a dumpster out...
A bill explicitly stating that citizens will be allocated 1 second of free speech for every $10,000 of pre-taxable income they earn per year has made its way through the Senate subcommittee process. The following is a transcript of the final hearing.
2012
A BILL TO CODIFY, GUARD, AND BOLSTER FREE SPEECH RIGHTS IN THE UNITED STATES
HEARING
BEFORE THE
SUBCOMMITTEE ON THE CONSTITUTION,...
Madrid, Spain (it's Real!): Cristiano Ronaldo, soccer super-star, pompous, self righteous, multi-millionaire prima-donna is to retire from soccer because he's sad!
The reasons behind his sadness have nothing to do with his vast wealth or lack of s...
MINNEAPOLIS - The city council of Minneapolis, Minnesota has just announced that it has reduced the town's unemployment percent all the way down to zero.
Council member Delta Joan Muscaretello spoke with an assembled throng of reporters and she re...