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Funny story: Human's Early Warning Asshole Detectors Rule Out Another Romney Try as Mitt Romney's Asshole Detector Finally Kicks In!

Human's Early Warning Asshole Detectors Rule Out Another Romney Try as Mitt Romney's Asshole Detector Finally Kicks In!

Mitt Romney reminded me of how genetically sensitive most of us are in detecting "An Asshole". Darwin probably would have said it was a critical part of the natural selection process and connected to our most basic human reproduction drives. I mean -you don't want to reproduce with an asshole because your children will most likely become assholes (just look around) If Darwin DIDN'T think of this...
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Funny story: For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

For Romney, Third Time's the Charm

WASHINGTON - It has surfaced that Mitt Romney has desire to run again for his third presidential bid. Although he has yet to officially throw his hat into the 2016 mix, sources close to him say that he is excited and has a good feeling about th...
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Funny story: Despite polls, Hillary says no to servicing Mitt

Despite polls, Hillary says no to servicing Mitt

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC/AC - Hillary Clintoon is celebrating the news: forty percent of the respondents to a Phew Poll affirmed that they want to see a woman in the Oval Orifice. Clintoon (Hillary, not Bill), who may run for president in 2016, beamed...
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Funny story: Four GOP Presidential Hopefuls Drown While Testing the Waters for 2016

Four GOP Presidential Hopefuls Drown While Testing the Waters for 2016

Across the nation, four GOP presidential hopefuls drowned this week while testing the waters for the 2016 presidential run. Mitt Romney, according to nearby witnesses, drowned outside his residence in San Diego, CA, while taking a morning dip in t...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney's Re-animated Corpse to Run for President in 2048

Mitt Romney's Re-animated Corpse to Run for President in 2048

WASHINGTON, D. C. (DP)-Mitt Romney, who died in 2028 at the age of eighty-one while running for president for the seventh time, is poised to give it another shot, advisors to the cryogenically frozen candidate reported today. Close advisors to...
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Funny story: Young Woman Claims To Be Mitt Romney's Daughter

Young Woman Claims To Be Mitt Romney's Daughter

BOSTON - A 22-year-old computer programmer living in Boston has come forth with an astonishing claim. Mavis Drillwater has informed the news media that she is Mitt Romney's daughter. She said that she did not know it until recently when she found...
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Funny story: Governor Chris Christie Says He'll Run In 2016 And He'll Kick Sarah Palin's Puss All The Way Back To Alaska

Governor Chris Christie Says He'll Run In 2016 And He'll Kick Sarah Palin's Puss All The Way Back To Alaska

PARAMUS, New Jersey - Governor Chris Christie has made it perfectly clear that he wants to be the Republican presidential nominee in 2016. The popular New Jersey governor recently sat down with Amos Soursuckle of GOPicky Magazine at a local Burger...
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Funny story: Many Gay Marriages Are Hard!

Many Gay Marriages Are Hard!

Gay marriages are having a hard time because, most say, marriage means commitment, and most of them have never tried that over a long period of time. "This is Rash Limbo and I'm giving it my two cents worth." "Now don't turn away. After all, I...
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Funny story: Governor Chris Christie Adopts A Special Dog

Governor Chris Christie Adopts A Special Dog

TRENTON - Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey has stated that he will bet anyone who cares to make a bet that he will be the 2016 GOP presidential candidate. The rotund governor said that he will continue to lose weight until he looks a little l...
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Funny story: Vice-President Joe Biden In A Show of Political Solidarity Will Have A White House Weenie Roast For Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and Rick Perry

Vice-President Joe Biden In A Show of Political Solidarity Will Have A White House Weenie Roast For Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and Rick Perry

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden asked the commander-in-chief if he could throw a little holiday White House Weenie Roast in the backyard of the White House. The president answered that he thought it would be a great idea and a fabulous...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney Flip Flops Once Again and Now Says He's Glad He Lost The 2012 Presidential Election

Mitt Romney Flip Flops Once Again and Now Says He's Glad He Lost The 2012 Presidential Election

BOISE, Idaho - Mitt Romney was up in Idaho visiting a potato seed packing plant when he was approached by Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magazine. Petaluma asked the 66-year-old Massachusetts native how he feels now that he has had tim...
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Funny story: Big Bird and the gang trying to move on

Big Bird and the gang trying to move on

8 months ago Mitt Romney attacked Big Bird in an attempt to become president. Mr. Bird is still feeling the effects today. "I cant stop thinking of it" said Mr. Bird. "He really fu-ked up my life man! The government has taken it's money away and...
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Funny story: U.S. Politicos: Where Are They Now?

U.S. Politicos: Where Are They Now?

Faded Spotlight Magazine Presents... U.S. POLITICOS: WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Mitt Romney - The old Flip-Flopper, who got trounced in the 2012 presidential election by President Barack Obama, is seriously considering moving down to Mexico and living with one of his cousins who owns a piƱata factory. Ron Paul - The 77-year-old congressman from Texas is living in the Lone Star state and trying t...
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Funny story: Ann Coulter Says The GOP Has To Embrace Hip Hop Music

Ann Coulter Says The GOP Has To Embrace Hip Hop Music

BOISE, Idaho - Ann Coulter was in town speaking at the Mashed Potatoes Arena before a group of frustrated Republicans who hate the mess that Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, and especially Sarah Palin have put the GOP in. The Republican maven was asked wha...
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Funny story: President Obama Makes An NBA Bet With Mitt Romney

President Obama Makes An NBA Bet With Mitt Romney

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama is smiling from ear-to-ear after having made an NBA bet with the man he defeated in the 2012 presidential election, Mitt Romney. President Obama said that he was sitting in the backyard at the White House enjoyin...
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Funny story: Drunk Santa explodes at VFW Hall in Iowa

Drunk Santa explodes at VFW Hall in Iowa

COWPATH, Iowa (ABSNN) - An "apparently" booze filled, 87-year-old WWII veteran playing Santa, exploded Sunday afternoon, killing himself, and injuring 27 men and women who were waiting in line to have their pictures taken in his lap. According to on...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney in attack on Santa Claus

Mitt Romney in attack on Santa Claus

Defeated Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has been accused of being something of a sore loser recently. First he claimed that Obama won the election due to giving gifts to Latino and African American voters. Even a man who had the Romney/Ryan logo...
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Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Wants To Date Angus T. Jones

Lindsay Lohan Wants To Date Angus T. Jones

VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan says she watched the Internet video of Angus T. Jones badmouthing Two and A Half Men, the show that pays him an astounding $350,000 a week just to utter a few lines that any 19-year-old boy in the good old USA could do.
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Breaking News...

Westboro Ass-Tits

The infamous congregation mistakenly installed a large anus with a breast pump attached to it, instead of a fountain. Pastor has commented, "now God hates us!" 5 Members burned themselves alive.
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