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Funny story: Dead man returns to life, craving blood

Dead man returns to life, craving blood

JACKASS, MS -- Seventy-eight-year-old Walter Williams has cheated the Grim Reaper. Pronounced "dead" five days ago by a doctor whose credentials are "under review" by the Amerikan Medical Association, Williams was on the embalming table, about to be...
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Funny story: Stricter Saint regulations as Pilgrim " blunders" uncovered.

Stricter Saint regulations as Pilgrim " blunders" uncovered.

Several incidents involving dubious relics have led to the setting up of "Ofrelic" by the Vatican. Recently a pilgrim who had queued for hours at the "Well of St. Patella" to cure knee ligament problems was fitted with a cheap ginger wig and sent...
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Funny story: Steven Donziger's face materializes on slice of toasted Wonderbread

Steven Donziger's face materializes on slice of toasted Wonderbread

New York - Some judges breakfasting at a Manhattan cafeteria close to next week's RICO racketeering and corruption lawsuit were gobsmacked this morning when an apparition of Ecuador Amazonbotch shyster lawyer Steven Donziger popped up on a slice of t...
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Funny story: Pope's remarks panic Purgatory

Pope's remarks panic Purgatory

Vatican City -- An offer by Pope Francis to reduce Purgatory time for Catholics who embrace the "miracle of social media" has led to a massive and sudden selloff of real estate in Purgatory. As a result, prices for Purgatory condos have been slas...
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Funny story: Miracles of Pope Benedict Revealed

Miracles of Pope Benedict Revealed

Vatican City -- As he retires as the mystical leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict is being honored for the miracles he performed while pontiff. Among the amazing feats with which he is credited are these wonders: Converted the Pope Mobil...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber song brings woman back from dead

Justin Bieber song brings woman back from dead

Apparently cats aren't the only ones with nine lives. A woman in Kansas is lucky to be alive after dying eight times, and credits Justin Bieber for bringing her back. Marlene Wilson, 44, of Great Bend, Kansas, had been cleaning a hunting rifle...
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Funny story: Mitt Romney's face miraculously appears on urinal mint at WV convent!

Mitt Romney's face miraculously appears on urinal mint at WV convent!

CONVENT OF THE QUEER, WV (ABSNN) - The face of Republican Presidential nominee, Mitt Romney, "miraculously appeared" on a urinal mint, in the toilet of the Monk's Quarters, in this small Jesuit Convent tucked away in the foothills of west-central Wes...
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Funny story: Jesus Christ Superstar and Super Husband

Jesus Christ Superstar and Super Husband

An ancient fragment of papyrus has been discovered and it makes a thinly veiled reference to Jesus having a wife. It also says several things about Transformers building the Pyramids but that's apparently not as important as the Jesus thing. The s...
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Funny story: Miracle: Man's Memory Instantly Restored

Miracle: Man's Memory Instantly Restored

CHESTER, Pa. (WTFM) --- It was a hot, summer afternoon in mid-August, 1962, when a twelve-year-old Robert Tiller and his younger brother, Pete, decided they would bury a jar of pennies in their backyard. Two years later, they decided to dig it...
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Funny story: St. Patrick's Day Miracle! More Beer AFTER St. Paddy's Day Party than BEFORE

St. Patrick's Day Miracle! More Beer AFTER St. Paddy's Day Party than BEFORE

In what Irish-Americans are touting as a modern-day St. Patrick's Day miracle, Lower East Side New Yorker Mary McGarry discovered that there was even more beer in her home the morning AFTER her rollicking St. Paddy's Day party than there had been bef...
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Funny story: Birth Certificate Reveals Rick Santorum To Be The Son of God

Birth Certificate Reveals Rick Santorum To Be The Son of God

Washington, DC -- Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has declared his campaign to be "The Second Coming," after learning that his birth certificate identifies him as the Son of God. "I thought I might be related to Superman," Santorum...
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Funny story: Image of Tim Tebow in Grilled Cheese Sandwich a Miracle says Pope

Image of Tim Tebow in Grilled Cheese Sandwich a Miracle says Pope

Denver, CO - A man who ordered a grilled cheese sandwich at a local café was taken aback when he noticed the grilled cheese bore the likeness of Tim Tebow, the Denver Broncos quarterback extraordinaire. Even more extraordinary was that Pope Benedi...
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Funny story: The Feeding of the 5000 explained

The Feeding of the 5000 explained

Theological Biblical Students at Wakefield Primary School believe that the story of the Feeding of the Five Thousand in the Bible is an example of the world's first Flash Mob. "Basically," said Naomi Jefferson, "we think that Jesus put some sort o...
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Funny story: Christopher Hitchens Cured After Praying to Mother Teresa

Christopher Hitchens Cured After Praying to Mother Teresa

Atheist writer Christopher Hitchens has reportedly been cured of cancer after praying to Mother Teresa. Hitchens' cure, if accepted by Catholic Church authorities as miraculous, could ultimately pave the way for Mother Teresa to be canonized as a...
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Funny story: Toxic Zam Zam water sourced to Bin Laden spring

Toxic Zam Zam water sourced to Bin Laden spring

Abbottabad - That 'Arab Spring' tagline has taken a bashing amid reports Bin Laden made 'an absolute killing' flogging poisoned water on his Holy Shit! website. The liquid's supernatural powers had seen it branded the world's top ills' whitewasher...
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Funny story: John-Paul II's first miracle after Beatification

John-Paul II's first miracle after Beatification

The late Pope John-Paul II has performed a first miracle after his beatification in Rome this past Sunday. The former Polish-born Karol Wojtyla intercepted to help American C.I.A. agents shoot straight when they attacked Osama Bin Laden's luxury...
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Funny story: Father Ted Christmas Special

Father Ted Christmas Special

Bosses at Channel 4 have decided that they will go ahead with a controversial Christmas Episode of Father Ted (to be screened in late July). The actor Dermot Morgan, who played Father Ted in three series, sadly passed away in 1998 after finishing...
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Funny story: Pope John Paul II to be cannonized sainthood - by a little help of the manhood

Pope John Paul II to be cannonized sainthood - by a little help of the manhood

In today's Washington Post it was reported that Pope John Paul II has moved even closer to becoming a saint. Evidentially the beatification will be held on May 1st. To be granted the highest honor of the Catholic church there must be indisputabl...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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