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Funny story: Sexy Manchester Wins Award For Sexiness

Sexy Manchester Wins Award For Sexiness

Manchester has been voted England's "sexiest" city in a poll conducted by someone with way too much time on their hands. Back and to the Lefts hometown of Hull didn't even make the top twenty, which is a shame. Syphilis first cases in England were di...
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Funny story: Chelsea ignore league protests and buy feeder teams in football league

Chelsea ignore league protests and buy feeder teams in football league

Following the suggestion of manager Andre Villas-Boas that the English Premier League teams should follow the model of Spain and field a "B" teams in the lower leagues or buy feeder teams, Chelsea have announced they will buy two local teams from the...
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Funny story: Avram Grant sacked for wearing fishnets.

Avram Grant sacked for wearing fishnets.

West Ham have sacked manager Avram Grant after he was caught wearing fishnets at the Wigan game. Avram's excuse about the chilly northern wind did not go down well with the Hammers' diehards.. "The late great Sir Bobby Moore would be turning in h...
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Funny story: Millwall the answer

Millwall the answer

'Terry have you been to Millwall?' 'Sure. I went yesterday.' 'What did they say?' 'They were very helpful. They thought I was too young to be taken on but knew I had great potential. They advised me to stay at school and to complete my education.' 'That sounds sensible.' 'They also said I should play football outside the school.' 'How will you have time for that?' 'There's a S...
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Funny story: Iran in Millwall buy out bid shocker

Iran in Millwall buy out bid shocker

It's official! Iranian President and despot Achmad Amadinnerbap has approached South Londoner's Millwall F.C in a possible buyout and takeover, for the massive price of two pie and mash. The shock announcement sent ripples of dismay around Ber...
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Funny story: Man In Hospital After Skipping Like A Girl

Man In Hospital After Skipping Like A Girl

A Millwall football fan has been vicously attacked outside a pub by his own fellow supporters. Dickie Slit, 38, was set upon by the thirty strong crowd when he was spotted skipping like a girl. DCI Conrad Pheebs, 48, said "Mr. Slit was making h...
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Funny story: West Ham vs Millwall

West Ham vs Millwall

West Ham vs Millwall. There hasn't been this much of a fuss after a football match since 'The Taliban Tornadoes' took on the 'Yankee trading Goliath's' in the summer of 2000. Bin laden swore his revenge against the western football champions after th...
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Funny story: West Ham And Millwall Have A Jolly Good Evening Out Together

West Ham And Millwall Have A Jolly Good Evening Out Together

Many local residents feared the worst when West ham United and New Cross rivals Millwall, were drawn against each other. Both club's fans have a violent history and Metropolitan Police officers in full riot gear attended the fixture in large numbe...
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Funny story: Millwall Open Ticket Office On M1

Millwall Open Ticket Office On M1

Supporters of Millwall football club will be able to buy their away match tickets en route to their destination from this week, after the opening of a special ticket office on the M1 motorway. The decision to open the new facility comes as a resul...
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Funny story: Leeds v. Millwall Could Be Decided By A Fight

Leeds v. Millwall Could Be Decided By A Fight

West Yorkshire police have confirmed in a statement tonight, a cancellation of all staff leave in preparation for the second leg of the League One play-off between Leeds United and Millwall at Elland Road on Wednesday night, after it emerged that, if...
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Funny story: Police Prepare For Football Chaos If Leeds Play Millwall And Burnley Play Preston

Police Prepare For Football Chaos If Leeds Play Millwall And Burnley Play Preston

The Metropolitan Police and British Transport Police are preparing for what could be a chaotic weekend should Millwall face Leeds United in the League One Championship final and Preston meet Burnley in the Championship Final. "If Leeds play Millwa...
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Funny story: Hull City Players Celebrate Impending Return Of Prodigal Son

Hull City Players Celebrate Impending Return Of Prodigal Son

Hull City, everyone's 2nd favourite team, who hadn't won a league game since December 6 before this evening's game against Fulham, and had slid deep into the relegation mire, are celebrating tonight, after it was announced that Prodigal Son, Dean Win...
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Funny story: Hull City And Millwall Fans To Protest Against 'Modern Game'

Hull City And Millwall Fans To Protest Against 'Modern Game'

After last weekend's scenes of terrifying mindless violence and seat-throwing at the FA Cup fourth round tie between Hull City and Millwall, 'men' associated with both clubs have this morning announced that they are to stage protests against the Mode...
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Funny story: Obama arrested after Millwall crowd trouble

Obama arrested after Millwall crowd trouble

President Barack Obama, until now the darling of the American public and as apple pie as a Bee Gees singer, was today arrested by Humberside police for what they called 'mindless hooliganism on an awesome scale', at the Hull City versus Millwall FA C...
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Funny story: Millwall Fans Say Seats At Hull Were "Jolly Uncomfortable"

Millwall Fans Say Seats At Hull Were "Jolly Uncomfortable"

Millwall 'football fans' who ripped out and threw seats at Hull City supporters during yesterday's FA Cup fourth round tie at the KC Stadium, have said they did so because the seats in question were "jolly uncomfortable". The fans responsible are...
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Funny story: Hull City And Millwall Fans Renew Old Acquaintances

Hull City And Millwall Fans Renew Old Acquaintances

There was an air of camaraderie at the KC Stadium today, as supporters of Hull City and Millwall, so long apart due to the latter's lowly status, renewed their old acquaintances, like only old friends can. The two sets of 'football fans' have a lo...
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Funny story: A Millwall Brick: How To Make One

A Millwall Brick: How To Make One

When I talk to people about football, and the 'old days', the conversation invariably comes around to violence, or perceived violence, because, a lot of the time, it just never happened. Lots of running around, posturing, arm-waving and shouting, yes, but very little action on most occasions. When it did though, it could get quite hairy. If you were lucky, you were with someone else when it wen...
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Funny story: Morrissey Arrested In Possession Of A Millwall Brick

Morrissey Arrested In Possession Of A Millwall Brick

There was real controversy after the League One game between Millwall and Leeds United at the New Den this afternoon, when ex-Smiths frontman, Steven Morrissey was arrested by police officers in Los Angeles for carrying a Millwall Brick. Morrissey...
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Breaking News...

Ferguson Police to Lay Off 3 Black Officers

Ferguson Police say that their experiment to hire black police officers to stem the violence in the predominantly black city has failed. They will lay off all black officers and not hire any more.

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